Rec. League Player – Temper Issue

[quincy]

We have a girl signed up for spring that for lack of a better description has an anger Issue.

She is OK 95% of the time, the other 5% of the time something happens were you can feel the anger radiating of her. It lasts for 5 to 10 minutes then she is OK again. During this time she is shutdown and unreachable. It is just a matter of time before she hurts one of our Players or a Player on the other Team.

I am not always sure what sets her off but you can tell when she is “gone”. I talked to her Dad last year, a couple times while she was “gone”, he did not do anything to address the situation. Something along the line of that’s her personality.

I am guessing this girl will be on my DD’s Team again this year. I would obviously prefer them not being on the same Team but it looks like that is how it is lining up.

Since I think there is a safety Issue involved is it OK to discuss this with the new Manager and recommend that they come up with a plan to address the Issue? (I think so but I do not like providing negative comments about other players)

If we are lucky enough not to have her on our Team, should I still discuss it with her new Manger? (Maybe less of my business)

Should I just discuss it with the League commissioner and hope they deal with it? He might have heard concerns about her already, I do not know for sure.

If the Manager does not address the Issue is it OK to threaten, not sure how else to phrase this, to leave the Team if my DD is anywhere near her when she is “gone”?

Might not have expressed the above well but I think I expressed the Issue. Any thoughts on how to proceed would be appreciated.

 

[pitchmom]

My gosh, you make her sound possessed when she is mad. What exactly does she do that makes her dangerous. Does she hit, throw the ball uncontrollably at someone that isn't expecting it, swing the bat, hit, pinch, spin her head around.

 

[quincy]

Throws the ball as hard as she can to our Players when they are 5 feet away, she has a strong Arm, purposely runs over players on the other Team, etc.

I am waiting for her head to spin around.

 

[Ken Krause]

Tough call on this one. If you say something you could be seen as a complaining parent. If you don't, someone can get hurt. Unfortunate that the parents (or at least the father) is taking an "oh well" attitude. My guess is that's a contributing factor. Perhaps no one at home has called her on it, so she thinks it's ok to be that way.

If she's on your daughter's team, you may want to give the coach a head's up (if he/she doesn't already know). If not on your daughter's team, I'd probably let one of the parents on that team say something. Sure you can't be the only one who knows.

 

[jacketsfan]

My DD played with a girl like this one. When pitching, she could lose her mind if it wasn't going well. They were very good friends off the field, but even my DD said sometimes she didn't know her when she was "in that mood". A few years later - that kid is nothing like that, and will be the first one to defend a teammate on or off the field.

I have had these issues as a coach before. When the player acted out, she sat. Practice or game, she sat. LL rules allow exceptions to the minimum play rules for disciplinary reasons. You can't control how parents treat their own kids, but you can do something about how kids on your team treat each other while they are on the field.

As for you saying something to the coach - I would let your DD do so, if the behavior contnues. Hoepfully, the player has grown out of it. If not, the coach should be able to observe it with his own eyes pretty quickly, and stop it right then and there. I'm not so sure I'd go running to anyone, unless the player does lose her temper, and throw extra hard or something. At that point, you can ask the coach if he is going to condone/reward that.

What age are we talking, by the way? I assumed younger since it's rec.

 

[SoftSocDad]

And if you DO say something, then you're the guy who's picking on the mentally ill.

Psychological issues are impossible for any non-eyewitness to evaluate. As Ken noted, it's a double-edged sword - you've never actually seen her do harm to anyone, but does that HAVE to happen before her inappropriate behavior is addressed by those charged with protecting the children and the integrity of rec league play?

I usually have an opinion on most everything, but while I would err on the side of caution, I don't want to touch this one at all.

 

[quincy]

It is 10U rec., the girl is 9.

One of the reasons I asked the question was because I practiced with her Friday and her behavior has not changed, the other reason is I think we handled it wrong last year. (I like saying we when I did something wrong. )

 

[Amy in AZ.]

It is one of those cases, where no one can do anything until something happens, isn't it?

I can remember similar cases and certain players that I liked to keep my kid away from. I would request not to be on her team, if that is possible.

 

[starsnuffer]

You can ask to be put on another team, nothing wrong with that. Asking the league to remove this player because your worried she may do something is not fair to the player, as there is no history of her actually doing something that resulted in harm to another player.

-W

 

[chinamigarden]

Is the board of the league aware of this issue? I would want them in the know ahead of time so if an issue came up they are not blind sided, and so it does not appear to be an isolated incident.