Puss pockets

[fastpitch]

I had a friend growing up, well actually was friends with 2 brothers. Their family was about 8 children and mom and dad kept trying to grow it. The mother was the classic case for what you stated. Narcissistic. Really bad. So bad, she would constantly show up to church late, like 15-20 minutes late and then take a pew at the front of the church. Her sons and daughters also served as altar boys/girls and when it was their turn to serve, she would still be late. Imagine the embarrassment these kids felt having to go take your position at the front of the church after mass had already begun. It was quite a spectacle. Not sure why the church put up with it.

I hate lateness also... but 8 kids? I'm surprised she could even leave the house... I think if someone on my team had 8 kids I would understand if they were a little late.

 

[Sparky Guy]

Not sure why the church put up with it.

Because the service did not depend on them being there on time. It's their "loss" for showing up late. I doubt there is a preacher/deacon/priest who would chase someone from a service for being late. Even if they are disruptive when they arrive.

There is no warmup needed to pray.

 

[kenb63]

To the narcissist even negative attention is better than no attention.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

We always try to manage our player and parents expectations at the beginning of the season during our first team meeting.

I think we all do that. However, no one really knows which girls are going to play more or play less at the beginning, so the issues don't pop up until the pecking order gets established. Everyone is fine when playing time is fairly equal and spread around. People don't lose their minds until the lineup on Sundays starts looking the same a few times in a row.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

And now she is going to need to find a 4th team. You reputation as a team will go up when it becomes known that you don't put up with this sort of family. Either that or you just tell the parents that you love their daughter but they are not allowed near any team activity anymore because it is causing a huge distraction and you can't have that. They will probably leave with that ultimatum though the older the girl the more likely it is she tells her parents she doesn't want to leave and they can just drop her off and pick her up until they are allowed back (if ever).

Second family involved you may have some more history with and perhaps the absence of the first set of parents will help. Your call on whether that might happen. That said, being part of this group probably means their daughter is one of your weaker players so they may be gone end of season anyway. There is going to be roster turnover because you are always gong to have more girls on the team than spots in the field (plus 1000 other reasons).



If they are being contacted like everyone else - and you are consistent with your communications - and you have their contact details right (note: one family I send notices to 6 emails and 4 phone numbers just to make sure and even then...) - then the family is responsible for getting her there on time or contacting you well in advance of time to be there saying why they wont be. Absence of an expected communication is not an excuse - if you are expecting an email/text/whatever and you haven't got it then they should be reaching out to you or other parents on the team for info and to make sure they haven't missed a message. It's game day right? Schedule is posted? While I am still going to send out an email saying you must be at field X at X time, even without it you know you are going to be there X minutes before the game. It is practice night - it could be at one of X numbers of fields. Not certain - contact someone. As long as you have their contact info right and you are sending out communications consistently then this is on them.

I am a little different to others - I am fine with sitting a kid for being late without notice/valid reason. Sure the kid can't drive but YES the kid can be helping move the parents out the door or be the one contacting you to find out what and where if her parents aren't. This is 14U-B - I bet she has a phone and email and text and friends on the team. I have had several players like this in the past - the ones that want to play will get their parents moving and on-time or will take over the communication part of this if their parents don't - especially if they start losing playing time or sitting out or batting down the order. In some situations that might not be totally fair to that one girl - but it is fair to the rest of the team who are doing the right thing - and life isn't always fair to the individual so learn to deal with it.

^^^^^^^^^ This. ^^^^^^^^^

I pretty much have exactly the same philosophies and they have served me well for 14 years.

The one parent in the stands is a cancer and it will spread like wildfire (as you're learning). It has to be cut out immediately.

I dismiss families for a single infraction of the "You must support the team 100% at all times" rule and I consider whining about playing time in the stands to be a very serious infraction. In fact, if I happen to hear it, I will walk out of the dugout and tell the parent to pack their kids' stuff and leave right then! This helps with your reputation for taking care of problems and it also scares the hell out of your remaining families, thereby doing a bit of "preventative maintenance" as a by-product.

I have worked and worked and given my time and blood and sweat and tears for these kids, I improved my coaching staff, I started coaching HS ball to improve my skills as a coach, I have spent an insane amount of money for these kids yet, why do some parents still want to suck my blood? I don't get it...and I've been coaching and playing for a long long time.

Although everyone is in it for their own DD, there are many, many good families out there who genuinely do care about the team and the rest of the girls and their families. These are the ones to keep and the ones who will appreciate your efforts and make you feel like your blood isn't getting sucked 24/7. Dump the rest like a bad ex-girlfriend and live happily ever after.

 

[Momo'sDad]

Not sure why the church put up with it.

Because 8 kids means a lot of future tithes-payers.

 

[vdubya]

Don't you mean pus pockets?

...speaking of which, does anyone know where to get one of those female protective cups for a catcher?

 

[MsDinosaur]

...speaking of which, does anyone know where to get one of those female protective cups for a catcher?

Womens/Girls Hockey accessories? I believe I've seen female protective cups there.

 

[PA SB Dad]

Womens/Girls Hockey accessories? I believe I've seen female protective cups there.

Yes, they are female pelvic protectors for hockey.

 

[Huskerdu]

Has anyone sat a kid during a tournament pool play because they were sick and didn't come to practice during the week?