She has a right to complain to you, but no right to stir the pot w/ other parents. I've only recently begun to see the need for a rule to cover this - parents who criticize coaches and even players with other parents. It can be toxic, as I'm sure you have seen over the years. To answer your question, I would talk with the parent and reassure her that you will hear with an open mind any complaint that she has, but that venting to other parents will hurt the team and her daughter.
Puss pockets
- Thread starter Huskerdu
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She has a right to complain to you, but no right to stir the pot w/ other parents. I've only recently begun to see the need for a rule to cover this - parents who criticize coaches and even players with other parents. It can be toxic, as I'm sure you have seen over the years. To answer your question, I would talk with the parent and reassure her that you will hear with an open mind any complaint that she has, but that venting to other parents will hurt the team and her daughter.
- Apr 25, 2010
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I can honestly say, without reservation, you are FAR better to get rid of pot stirrer. From experience, I would bet money that she is also bad mouthing you to other people and doesn't think you will find out. It is sad for her kid, but mom is going to destroy her kid's youth career, and gain herself quite the reputation.
+1^^ They're definitely not in the starting lineup. You may - or may not - get them in the game after they've warmed up properly.
As Cyclone posted, 14U+ players have a role in this. They need to make sure they're ready to leave on time. If necessary they can remind their parents ahead of time by asking who is driving and when they're leaving to get to xyz on time. If the parents are really the problem, the player might be able to arrange a ride with a teammate.
When I coached rec league, everyone on the team knew the batting order was determined by the order in which the kids showed up for the game. While it did not make any difference to those who were always on time and wanted to be there, it did save me a lot of complaining when the late ones were batting last. I do things a bit differently now in TB, but the same principles apply - if you are on time, you are under consideration for being in the starting lineup; late, and you will ride the pine for an inning or two as I can't be bothered to rewrite the lineup and get the team warmed up.
In terms of the pot stirrer, don't put up with it. She may think she knows more than you because she has been through this before and can use that to her advantage. I would bet each of her kids going through TB have been on progressively more teams in shorter periods of time.
In terms of the pot stirrer, don't put up with it. She may think she knows more than you because she has been through this before and can use that to her advantage. I would bet each of her kids going through TB have been on progressively more teams in shorter periods of time.
- Feb 3, 2011
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I know all situations call for different solutions but generally speaking, if there has been no direct reprimand yet of the pot-stirrer, is it better to confront them 1-on-1 even though all your info is second-hand? Or would it be better to call a parent meeting and watch them squirm on the hot seat for a bit?
- Nov 29, 2009
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Funny story. Had a mom on a 10U team I had who was habitually late for everything. It was tryout time. The DD told the mom the tryout was an hour earlier than the start time so she would be there on time. The girl was on time for the tryouts.
Don't you mean pus pockets?
Huskerdu
With Purpose and Urgency
- Sep 4, 2011
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that word isn't part of my normal vocab so thanks for the clarification, your...you're right!
- Jun 24, 2013
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I had a friend growing up, well actually was friends with 2 brothers. Their family was about 8 children and mom and dad kept trying to grow it. The mother was the classic case for what you stated. Narcissistic. Really bad. So bad, she would constantly show up to church late, like 15-20 minutes late and then take a pew at the front of the church. Her sons and daughters also served as altar boys/girls and when it was their turn to serve, she would still be late. Imagine the embarrassment these kids felt having to go take your position at the front of the church after mass had already begun. It was quite a spectacle. Not sure why the church put up with it.
