Problems with Eroding Team Chemistry

[lostbayou21]

Our once-promising 12-U team is struggling right now, clearly frustrated. Our defensive lapses have increased, our hitting has slumped and we coaches are at a loss. We spend lots of time teaching the finer parts of the game but come game-time, we seem to be fragile emotionally.

These emotions are carrying over into the dugout, with girls snipping at each other, whispering to each other about other players, etc. A couple of times we've had girls shoot off at the mouth while the game is going on. It reminds me so much of office politics, but at a younger age.

Our coaching staff is all male but as dads we understand young women at this age are emotionally-charged. We've tried heart-to-hearts, various "team" motivational ploys, etc. However, we just aren't making progress and I fear it could get nasty and really do serious damage to a team for which we have such high hopes.

I would like to hear from other coaches or parents who have gone through similar circumstances and how it was addressed and what the final outcome was. We cannot reach our potential as a team until we solve these problems.
Thanks!

 

[WinThemAll]

Have the kids had a good break? Are they an older 12 team?

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Yes, to what Pride said. Or you may have to have a parent meeting and give a warning. Then, the next time a girl pops off, she is suspended until she can improve her attitude.

 

[lostbayou21]

They are a 2000 team, and we took about 3 weeks off in August. One of our considerations is to shut down the fall season early, finish out our fundraising and reboot come January.

 

[Indiana]

I can offer a situation that occured with my DD's High School program, and what the coach did about it. The head coach had made it abundantly clear in the beginning of the season that she would not tolerate disrespect of any kind. A few games in, there was some sniping going on on the JV team. The coach got wind of it. The next day, she sent all (varsity and jv) of the girls a text, telling them to wear shorts, t-shirts and running shoes to practice. Most of the girls didn't know what was going on - they thought it was for a fun surprise. Well, surprise - the girls ran. For the entire 90 minute practice. A combination of jogging and sprints with some push-ups thrown in. Afterwards, the coach told everyone what was going on and reiterated that the girls don't have to like eachother, but they do have to respect eachother, on and off the field. There wasn't a problem after that. The caveat, of course, is that 12U is very different from high school, so use this story cautiously - but it sure nipped that issue in the bud.

 

[starsnuffer]

Figure out who the queen bee is and remove her. It's usually a coaches kid. Either remove her from the team or put her in situations where she is with the kids that are "being talked about".

This is a situation that requires leadership and leading by example. Pay close attention to how the coaches are acting during a game. Change the coaching behavior to a disciplined but positive environment and the kids will follow suit. Right now, the kids are in charge.

-W

 

[RichK]

My take: it sounds like the girls are responding "badly" to pressure--ie, there are high expectations on them, things aren't going well right now, and they are looking for a way out or someone to blame.

A pretty natural response for any person of any age. And a challenge that NEVER goes away in life.

You say: "We cannot reach our potential as a team until we solve these problems."

And of course that is right. But what you have right now is a GREAT learning opportunity for them. Things don't always go well, but if you do the right things over time you WILL improve and have success. I assume you have them fairly evaluated when you say they are a promising team. So then just stay the course and keep working. Work, work, work.

Remember: you don't really "win" anything for winning a game or a tournament at 12U--there are no million dollar contracts handed out...they need to learn to deal with diversity by putting their heads down and working -- that's THE most important thing you can achieve with your team. Show your players that. Work double-time to keep your parents in step with what you are working toward (that may be the tougher part). Put your own ego aside for a second (that may be even tougher) and just keep working.

If "nasty" things cause "serious damage" to your team it's your fault. You and your coaches need to accept the challenge too.

I hope this doesn't come off as condescending. I am in the middle of a similar situation with an older team (like I said, it never goes away). It's a lot of work to keep everything moving forward and not falling apart, but what other choice do you have, right? Quit?

I really wish you good luck. Let us know how it turns out...

 

[CoogansBluff]

What kind of heart-to-heart did you have? ... Curious to know how that was structured and how it went.

New team that my daughter is on has the best team chemistry she's seen. This is her 5th season. I can't promise it will stay that way, but so far, the girls have bonded very well, and I give the coach a lot of credit for it. He encourages a lot of support for each other during practice, and he always ends practice with a team huddle where each player talks about who lifted them up. It creates a positive peer pressure to be a good teammate. It's as though we're practicing being positive, and it's rewarded, the same way that a good hit or catch might be. Sounds corny, but I'm seeing good things - so far.

 

[Sparky Guy]

I really wish you good luck. Let us know how it turns out...

Wow.... Thanks for typing out my response for me.

The key is to recognize it early and deal with the source immediately and decisively. I just took one of my players last weekend and had some serious face time with her about comments she's made to teammates.

 

[doublesteal]

I have found that team bonding has been the answer to this a lot.

Last year about mid season we began having issues with cliques begining to form and each clique seemed to have complaints about the other cliques. We did a few events over the course of 2-3 weeks: team only pasta party, bow making, guest scooping waterice at the local ritas (our girls seem to forget about being mad at each other a few weeks earlier .. and seemed to play better after that pont on).

This year we have a completely new team. And we recently had an issue with a few parents bickering after a tournament which in turn spread to the girls. We sat them all down and chatted (they are 16 so it was more of I don't care if you like each other but when you are around each other for softball you all get along.) I threatened benching a player if I overheard them takling about another player, than made them all write down what they thought the definition of the word team was. We than did a team binding hayride with them all. The next tournament every girl was sitting together during our break laughing and taking pictues together as opposed to prior tournaments where they were clustered into small groups. Not only that I have already seen inprovement in thier play they are more likely to motivate someone after a bad play than imediately start tearing tem apart.