Struggling with a team. Advice please

[The Man In Blue]

I just gave lots of love to some of the comments above. After reading your first post, @kmac78 , I had a hunch you were going to come back to share some of the added details. As somebody who went through (and is still going through) a similar culture shock, you have my utmost respect.

Much of the advice given on here comes from a different culture. It may be great advice for the "average" client here, but it isn't worth anything to you.

You can't coach this team. Not yet. You have to earn your cred first. As others have said, that means these girls have to know you are there for them before they will listen to you. This isn't something that can be forced, it just has to happen over time.

One thing that I found that worked in my classroom is to take those leaders (the ones who played before) and try to make them your allies. They think they can do better on their own, give them the opportunity to prove it. Ask each of them to take 3 of the others and work on a certain skill with them. Supervise, but let them run the small group. Give them control and show them you trust them (but keep a short leash).

Or you could ask each of them to come up with one thing they want to teach the team and then work with them on developing that and bringing it to practice.

It is a strange and bizarre mix of them wanting freedom and control while simultaneously wanting somebody to provide them with stability and authority. My biggest piece of advice is to develop team rules (with their input) and you MUST stick to them religiously. Routines will make them feel comfortable and safe.

I imagine it is a short rec season, so your time is probably limited. I would suggest NOT treating this as just that. These kids need you after practice is over and after the season is over. Life lessons are where your bread and butter is.

 

[uncdrew]

Had three experiences like this. Will focus on the youngest group.

Volunteered to coach a Police Athletic League inner city baseball team age group 13-15. The deal was the police would deliver players from four different housing projects to practice and games.

First game with no practice, 12 kids were delivered. Not a single kid had ever played in a baseball game before. Actually, most of them had never seen a baseball before. The oldest kid was 12 and most were 10 years old. My initial thought was this should be interesting. The kids were given a hat, no uniform and no jocks straps or nut cups.

Then the opposing team arrived. The cheapest car was a Chevy Suburban and the kids had matching bat bags and uniforms. They were an all-star team from different high schools in a neighboring county. Their coach apologized to me because his best two pitchers had been called up to play in an American Legion tournament.

In the top of the 1st inning the opponent had scored 21 runs with no outs. Next kid hit a fly ball to center field for an out. Called time and went out on the field and high-fived every kid. The opposing coach runs out yelling you can’t do that. Told him that if we got another one out, I was going out on the field naked. Glad we didn't get anyone out.

Spent the summer, working with the kids on what is expected of them in general at school and in society. Last game of the year 27 kids showed up. As the old saying goes, they don’t care how much you know unless they know how much you care.

I think I saw this movie on Disney Plus the other night. It was awesome.

 

[BigSkyHi]

I think I saw this movie on Disney Plus the other night. It was awesome.

It was an amazing experience. Lots of happy tears and lots of sad tears. Would have been a documentary rather than a movie.

 

[flash277]

I think I saw this movie on Disney Plus the other night. It was awesome.

I read the book too: Hardball, a Season in the Projects.

 

[BigSkyHi]

I read the book too: Hardball, a Season in the Projects.

Did you enjoy the book? May have to read it.

 

[flash277]

Did you enjoy the book? May have to read it.

It was a real good read, if you want to read the softball equivalent, try Lady Tigers in the Concrete Jungle.

 

[kmac78]

I just gave lots of love to some of the comments above. After reading your first post, @kmac78 , I had a hunch you were going to come back to share some of the added details. As somebody who went through (and is still going through) a similar culture shock, you have my utmost respect.

Much of the advice given on here comes from a different culture. It may be great advice for the "average" client here, but it isn't worth anything to you.

You can't coach this team. Not yet. You have to earn your cred first. As others have said, that means these girls have to know you are there for them before they will listen to you. This isn't something that can be forced, it just has to happen over time.

One thing that I found that worked in my classroom is to take those leaders (the ones who played before) and try to make them your allies. They think they can do better on their own, give them the opportunity to prove it. Ask each of them to take 3 of the others and work on a certain skill with them. Supervise, but let them run the small group. Give them control and show them you trust them (but keep a short leash).

Or you could ask each of them to come up with one thing they want to teach the team and then work with them on developing that and bringing it to practice.

It is a strange and bizarre mix of them wanting freedom and control while simultaneously wanting somebody to provide them with stability and authority. My biggest piece of advice is to develop team rules (with their input) and you MUST stick to them religiously. Routines will make them feel comfortable and safe.

I imagine it is a short rec season, so your time is probably limited. I would suggest NOT treating this as just that. These kids need you after practice is over and after the season is over. Life lessons are where your bread and butter is.

This was really helpful for me today. You are right. And granted, some kids aren’t from tough families and have loving and supporting parents, but some don’t and either way, it doesn’t hurt to frame my thinking this way.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[BigSkyHi]

This was really helpful for me today. You are right. And granted, some kids aren’t from tough families and have loving and supporting parents, but some don’t and either way, it doesn’t hurt to frame my thinking this way.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

This gent has a series of YouTube that may give you some ideas

 

[The Man In Blue]

To extend this out a little more, I would challenge umpires to be aware of the schools and teams they are umpiring.

A few weeks ago I had to umpire a DH for the school I teach at. I try not to do this, but it was one of those "nobody else is available" things and the teams both knew me. I had a rookie partner and he took the plate in the first game.

The pitcher in the first inning was a girl I have taught, and I am aware of the rotten circumstances she lives in. Softball was one of her only joys, and over the last year that has started to fall apart for her. On top of that, she (and the team) had a really bad experience the week before with a drunk, handsy umpire (yes, it is being dealt with).

In the first inning, she didn't get a few calls and was starting to pout, roll her eyes, etc. I am NOT condoning any of that. However, my partner went hard at her right away. He came out from the behind the plate, ripped off his mask, thrust a "stop" hand up in the air, and loudly proclaimed, "NO! YOUNG LADY, WE AREN'T DOING THAT!" I came running in to get between them as the coach came quickly out of the dugout. The coach and I took it in the wrong order, but I took the pitcher and he took the other umpire. I talked her down and he chewed on the rookie. OK, maybe I did that on purpose.

Anyway, between games we had a conversation about "culturally sensitive umpiring" for a lack of a better term. He told me he learned that action from a local hot shot umpire who told him to keep control of the game. I suggested that knowing the culture might be helpful. Kids raised in these circumstances are not going to react to that by backing down. They are constantly in a fight/defense mode. While being commanding might work in most circumstances (though I suspect not as many as he thinks), showing more compassion and instruction would have been better suited.

 

[Lemond]

Tough spot to be in all around, TMIB!