Paying for DD to ride the bench....Not My Thing

[OsDad]

I'll respond. If you play for any competitive team, and you said that you have unquestioned knowledge of this TB situation, then the team has approximately 12-14 players. There will always be players on the bench of any quality team. It seems as if your dd is playing on a team of 9. LOL Maybe the other parents are good with you dictating the terms to your TB coach. I would not be and my dd would not be on that team. My dd played on some exceptional teams and yet, they never had a "star" who was above the expectations of all other players. Believe me, you need to stay on the team your dd is on.

If I can play Devil's Advocate- it doesn't sound like he's dictating terms to her coach. He's being transparent with another coach about what a situation would have to look like for his DD to play for him.

I'm always surprised at how many coaches feel like they are entitled to have really good players in roster spots 10-14, and then try and pull the loyalty/dedication/#trusttheprocess card to guilt kids and parents into filling those spots instead of going somewhere that they can play. Find kids who want to be in those spots and let the kids who want to play ball go play ball without calling them names or accusing them of not wanting to complete, etc. Maybe they just aren't that good yet and want to just simply get to play the sport?

12u teams shouldn't have 14 kids anyway, in my opinion.

 

[midwestdad]

This weekend my DD was asked to join a solid B but low A tournament team. I told the guy who asked that "I don't pay for bench time"

If I was a coach and heard a line like that come out of a parent of a kid I just made an offer to, I would retract the offer. Playing time is earned and never expected or implied. If you use this line to start a relationship with a coach, your DD is not going to go very far. Just my two cents.

 

[ang2bmd]

I think that wanting a team where your kid is part of the starting 9 in bracket is everyone's goal especially when you are not at the elite levels of travel. On the flip side I wouldn't want my child to be the very best player on the team at the non elite levels of travel either. There is a balance. Once you reach the super elite national teams someone is going to be on the bench and the rosters are going to be bigger. Although poorly phrased which is I believe what a lot of people are reacting too I think this dad has the right idea. His daughter is playing at the level she can excel and isn't quite good enough yet to be challenged at the next level.

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

 

[OsDad]

If I was a coach and heard a line like that come out of a parent of a kid I just made an offer to, I would retract the offer. Playing time is earned and never expected or implied. If you use this line to start a relationship with a coach, your DD is not going to go very far. Just my two cents.

As a coach, I would have loved to have heard from a parent if they knew up front that their kid wasn't good enough to get a lot of playing time, and in light of that would be staying where they were, until they were at the required level of play.

 

[Hawk_]

This coach says "hard pass".

 

[_MIA_]

If I can play Devil's Advocate- it doesn't sound like he's dictating terms to her coach. He's being transparent with another coach about what a situation would have to look like for his DD to play for him.

I'm always surprised at how many coaches feel like they are entitled to have really good players in roster spots 10-14, and then try and pull the loyalty/dedication/#trusttheprocess card to guilt kids and parents into filling those spots instead of going somewhere that they can play. Find kids who want to be in those spots and let the kids who want to play ball go play ball without calling them names or accusing them of not wanting to complete, etc. Maybe they just aren't that good yet and want to just simply get to play the sport?

12u teams shouldn't have 14 kids anyway, in my opinion.

The only thing that was wonky about the initial post was the requirement to play every inning..which was the reason I gave the college analogy. Guaranteeing PT or even being in the starting 9, is one thing, wanting your kid to play every inning is a different story.

Sitting sometimes is actually a good thing for a kid..as is getting the grade you deserve

 

[AnotherSoftballDad]

If feel the same way.

I'm not paying to travel all over the US and spend thousands to watch my kid sit on the bench.

If she isn't in the top 9 then we are on the wrong team. If a coach is using my kid as a curtesy runner to try and get her in the game then we are on the wrong team.

However, I tell that to my kid not the coach.

I see a lot of hate on this board about team hopping. No shame switching things up if your current team isn't working.

 

[Strike2]

I have read allot of post on this forum any many believe in the waiting your time. At 12U no...I don't....If she works hard during practice.....if she is putting extra work in.....and I am paying.....oh she is playing the entire game or I'll find another team

I'm very much of a "I'm not paying for DD to sit" kind of guy, but this is ridiculous. Your claims of all this previous scholarship experience with your kids tends to contradict your position. In fact, what you say runs against the experience of many (if not most) here whose kids played on high-level teams and went on to play college ball.

What happens when you're on a team with everyone good enough to start? If it's a good team, that will happen. Nearly all of the seniors on DD's team advanced to some level of college ball with scholarships last year. The team isn't that big, but everyone still sits at some point. Yeah, if DD can't crack the starting lineup well more than 50% of the time, I'm looking elsewhere, or she's finding a new hobby. However, expecting your kid to play every inning is totally unreasonable, you're unlikely to find a coach who is worth anything who will agree to those terms.

 

[Lance Steckler]

I know at least 1 team in Ohio that your DD will not be playing on... NO ONE on my roster is guaranteed playing time.

 

[FP26]

I have read allot of post on this forum any many believe in the waiting your time. At 12U no...I don't....If she works hard during practice.....if she is putting extra work in.....and I am paying.....oh she is playing the entire game or I'll find another team

I understand your stance, but playing the entire game is a bit extreme. My focus as a coach has always been player development. We typically had 12 players on our roster (more at the older age groups), but rarely had more than 10 or 11 at a tournament. Every single person on our roster sat at some point during each tournament. There were no exceptions.