Not sure what to do! Swearing coach...

[canyonjoe]

If this is out of character for the coaches I might give them another shot, but any coach that would blame a kid in front of everyone would make me really
question playing on that team. The HC walked away which seems better than yelling at the team, but it's really not. He is supposed to stand up for his players
and not let some jerkoff AC talk to his players like that. The cursing bothers me some, but to rip into a player like that is close to inexcusable to me.

 

[Ken Krause]

Rather than confronting the coaches, I might wait to see what they do first. Give them an opportunity to apologize on their own for their behavior. Everyone is human, and sometimes we say stupid things. I know I've done plenty of things I've regretted later. But one thing I've tried to do (in addition to not repeating the transgression) is to apologize to the player(s) or team. If you wait you'll get a better sense of their character.

If nothing is said, then you'll want to bring it up. Their reaction will also give you an idea of their character, and odds are your decision will be a lot more clear.

Oh, and blaming any one play or any one player (or umpire) for a loss is just silly. If your team had scored 10 more runs no one probably would've cared about the error. It might've been funny to them then. It's a 7 inning game (if you play the whole thing). There are opportunities to win the game every inning. It's never just one thing.

 

[smddad]

I would have turned in my daughter's uniform right after that little tirade. I don't care how the coaches were previously. That is uncalled for.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Yep. I would have left her shirt on the bench. No one slips and uses the F word, when referring to a 14 yo. I have never seen it. My husband wouldn't do that. I have never heard that word come out of his mouth. I think that the coach showed his real colors and I would wonder "What next?"

Your DD is going to remember that incident the rest of her life.

 

[JJS]

My daughter started with the coaches daughter catching and right off the bat you knew the catcher was out for her...being mean (she would throw the ball as hard as she could back to my daughter and many times at her ankles) it was obvious to everyone she was trying to hurt my daughter. Despite this, my daughter threw a no-hitter for almost 5 innings of the game with no one getting on base. She got a hit and struck out offensively. The bottom of the 5th in a rainstorm the other team made adjustments and earned one hit. My daughter walked two but then struck out the next batter, the next batter hit a hard line drive that bounced off her glove and she had a bad throw to first, that caused runners to advance. I am in no way making excuses for her, she made an error.... Next batter hits about 5 foul balls into deep left field... The last pitch she hit a huge hit that was playable by the left fielder. The left fielder was asleep and didn't make the play until it was too late, she overthrew the cut off and more errors ensued. They took my daughter out and replaced her with said outfielder who is the weaker (younger) pitcher. My daughter and this girl get along great.. My daughter told her to go getem and she was very positive of the other pitcher. This young pitcher walked five straight batters and when we finally got out of the inning the damage was done. We had very few hits that game and we lost...

I understand everyone is jumping on the "kill coach" bandwagon, but something doesn't sound right to me. This sounds like sour grapes. There has to be more to this story. Why is the coach's catcher daughter trying to hurt your daughter? She is her teammate. What is the real story? Did you actually hear the statements made by the AC? Was the F Bomb used or was is frick, or frig? If the girls were taken to the outfield for a talk, are you sure that you heard correctly? Or, are you just reporting on what you think(or someone else says) was said?

For some reason I get a weird feeling about this. The original poster gave us an awful big backdrop about how great they have been. Then, went on to explain how kids are bullying her kid on the team(catcher-coach's kid), then explained how they took them off in a corner of the outfield, but everything was heard. Then said how F bomb was used, and DD was pointed out.

Sorry I'm just not buying it. You want to know why? Because any of the previous actions are enough for a revolt of the team. If the coach's kid is truly doing this when catching, then the umpire, tournament director, other coaches and parents would have demanded it stop.

If all of this truly happened, then I feel very sorry for every kid on the team. Their season is about to be cut extremely short, or they are about to endure a miserable rest of the season with bullying from coaches and players. For some reason though, the tone just doesn't ring true for me.

 

[CoogansBluff]

I understand everyone is jumping on the "kill coach" bandwagon, but something doesn't sound right to me. This sounds like sour grapes. There has to be more to this story. Why is the coach's catcher daughter trying to hurt your daughter? She is her teammate. What is the real story? Did you actually hear the statements made by the AC? Was the F Bomb used or was is frick, or frig? If the girls were taken to the outfield for a talk, are you sure that you heard correctly? Or, are you just reporting on what you think(or someone else says) was said?

For some reason I get a weird feeling about this. The original poster gave us an awful big backdrop about how great they have been. Then, went on to explain how kids are bullying her kid on the team(catcher-coach's kid), then explained how they took them off in a corner of the outfield, but everything was heard. Then said how F bomb was used, and DD was pointed out.

Sorry I'm just not buying it. You want to know why? Because any of the previous actions are enough for a revolt of the team. If the coach's kid is truly doing this when catching, then the umpire, tournament director, other coaches and parents would have demanded it stop.

If all of this truly happened, then I feel very sorry for every kid on the team. Their season is about to be cut extremely short, or they are about to endure a miserable rest of the season with bullying from coaches and players. For some reason though, the tone just doesn't ring true for me.

I agree that much of this sounds unbelievable. I do believe the OP is calling it like she saw it, and I suspect the assistant coach was out of line in some way, but I don't believe we've got the facts.

 

[Easton33]

Me: "Coach, do you have a minute? Thanks!....if you ever use the F word again at, around or near my kid i will beat the living $..t out of you... in front of everyone and when they ask why I will make you tell them".

Last week our 12U pure team played the leagues 11U pure team. My DD is the youngest on our team and the 11U team wants her to play with them next year. During the game the 11 team's coaches were so over the top yelling at their players that it sealed the deal for me. No coach will yell at my kid while she's on the field in front of her peers. You want to blast her? Sure... just do it off the field and NEVER use language with my kid that I don't use.

You will need to get a lawn chair and get comfortable in the outfield in the near future.

 

[Easton33]

This weekend we too played in the rain. Before the rain started though we had a terrible time with our pitchers hitting their spots. We are a decent team that definitely wins more than loses and this loss hurt. I made sure I told my pitcher's they have got to hit their spots and not walk batters but then I made sure I clarified that pitching did not lose the game. Our inability to stay back and drive the ball on slow pitching did.
Not sure if cussing is the issue, I think what has you ticked off is calling the pitcher out. Rightly so in my opinion but let's replace the F bomb with any other word and I bet you still have a problem. So address the real problem, not the cursing.

 

[Happy Dad]

Yep. I would have left her shirt on the bench. No one slips and uses the F word, when referring to a 14 yo. I have never seen it. My husband wouldn't do that. I have never heard that word come out of his mouth. I think that the coach showed his real colors and I would wonder "What next?"

Your DD is going to remember that incident the rest of her life.

Agreed. Let me add that anyone that uses the f-word on or OFF the field should not be allowed to be engaged in youth activities. Use of that word in any setting shows their extremely low level of character.

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk

 

[pitchermom2717]

Response

I understand everyone is jumping on the "kill coach" bandwagon, but something doesn't sound right to me. This sounds like sour grapes. There has to be more to this story. Why is the coach's catcher daughter trying to hurt your daughter? She is her teammate. What is the real story? Did you actually hear the statements made by the AC? Was the F Bomb used or was is frick, or frig? If the girls were taken to the outfield for a talk, are you sure that you heard correctly? Or, are you just reporting on what you think(or someone else says) was said?

For some reason I get a weird feeling about this. The original poster gave us an awful big backdrop about how great they have been. Then, went on to explain how kids are bullying her kid on the team(catcher-coach's kid), then explained how they took them off in a corner of the outfield, but everything was heard. Then said how F bomb was used, and DD was pointed out.

Sorry I'm just not buying it. You want to know why? Because any of the previous actions are enough for a revolt of the team. If the coach's kid is truly doing this when catching, then the umpire, tournament director, other coaches and parents would have demanded it stop.

If all of this truly happened, then I feel very sorry for every kid on the team. Their season is about to be cut extremely short, or they are about to endure a miserable rest of the season with bullying from coaches and players. For some reason though, the tone just doesn't ring true for me.

Okay so to answer some of your questions... The catcher has always had an attitude, she is a good player, but her attitude has gotten worse over the last few weeks. She would make comments at tournaments and some of the coaches from our team would tell her to watch herself as the players parents she was talking about were able to hear her. It has been a team thing that they deal with her attitude (she is the HC's daughter), so people tolerate it. It hasn't been this bad. She acts like a spoiled brat, and many girls on the team don't have to worry about playing with her as they play other positions away from her. The good news is she usually doesn't catch for my daughter as they have other catchers that she works well with. My daughter knows that on a team she is not going to like everyone she plays with, and that's okay. She does, however, have to play with her teammates regardless of whether or not they like each other. The catcher's behavior this weekend was the worst it has been. I have told my daughter that cooler heads prevail, that when the team gets back together she should continue to work hard to contribute, and that she can't control the actions and behaviors of others. This team has qualified for the World Series in July, so they need to get it together so they can play the best they can at Nationals. I don't feel like I or my daughter has sour grapes. She is very aware of the areas she needs to improve on and works to try to improve on them. I take nothing away from the talent of the girls on this team, they are very good players. My problem is the negative attitude that has started to develop over the last few weeks.. I don't want to see this team fall apart and I don't think its right for anyone (regardless of the circumstances) to use the f-bomb around kids. If that is sour grapes then I guess I have sour grapes after all...




In terms of hearing or reporting what was said, I never report or discuss something I didn't personally hear. I know enough that when dealing with kids lots of information can be miscommunicated. There was no doubt what was said and who it was said too.. Regarding a revolt, I am concerned that may happen, and that would be bad, as we started out in a good place. I make no excuses for my daughter - I try to have her own her behaviors and play, but I also try to tell her that she deserves respect.