Never in a million years!

[FP26]

I really wish I had some type of advice to offer you. Unfortunately, I see this happen a lot with high school sports. Too much politics. Too much bullying. No accountability. DD's experience has been negative as well, but for different reasons. Thankfully she is entering her senior season, so she is almost done with it. I wish your DD the best of luck. Hopefully things will improve.

 

[DRDRODD]

Update: DW got to the root of the problem last night when the team arrived back at the school. What the coach means by the whole team is that it is two players and two team managers that have a problem with the way she talks to the other players. One of the managers and one the players are sisters and the other two are also sisters to each other . It was confirmed by the coach that these four young women and their PARENTS have a problem with the way Makenzie calls huddles during the games/practices and tries to coach the girls. The coach also told my DW and DD that it would be best to just leave the "coaching" up to her and the assistant because it makes Makenzie look like she thinks that she is above everyone else and that just isn't a good look. Myself and my wife wouldn't normally interfere with a situation like this but last night during the first game of a double header the coach pulled Makenzie out of the dugout and brought her into the public viewing area not down the line but 10 ft for the viewing stands and starting screaming and cursed quite a bit at her. Supposedly this happened because another girl asked why she was sitting and Makenzie told her that the team has some complaints about her. When this took place one of the bulling young ladies went tell the coach that Makenzie was stirring the pot. If the coach would have done this in the confine of the dugout it wouldn't have been a problem but do not bring her into the common grounds/public area and embarrass her for the whole world to see. DW wife said during the 2nd game of the night 5th inning they allowed DD to enter a tied ball game 3-3 and when she ran out to the plate to get into position she said the entire defense was jumping up and down screaming her nickname "MAK". She said from that point forward the atmosphere took a drastic change and the team ended up rallying 9 runs in the next 2 innings to win 12-3. I never really believed that Makenzie was being the player that some were claiming her to be but I am not one to wear Rose colored glasses so there was a little concern that maybe she was. After hearing about the team reaction last night when she was allowed on the field gives me great pride that she actually is the player that I always hoped she could be.

 

[marriard]

Sorry for your negative experience so far. It's sad, but I believe a lot of this crap is a result of poor leadership. The coach should set the tone of a positive and uplifting environment. As far as a teammate "correcting" other players will almost certainly cause problems.
Players build each other up... Coaches correct.
Golden rule. Always

I appreciate this perspective - it isn't "high school coaches' do this or 'travel coaches' do this. There just is good, bad and average in all coaches at all levels.

The problem mainly is that 'bad' and 'average' coaching gets exposed so much faster in high school because they generally have the players WAY more than travel coaches do and more importantly, for 99% of players this is the first time they or their parents didn't get to handpick which coach and team they are playing for and you no longer have a chance to choose a coach/team that meets all the coaching criteria you would normally consider.

My DD is lucky. Her HS coach is pretty good. HS has been a very positive experience for her so far.

 

[CoachJD]

Sorry for your negative experience so far. It's sad, but I believe a lot of this crap is a result of poor leadership. The coach should set the tone of a positive and uplifting environment. As far as a teammate "correcting" other players will almost certainly cause problems.
Players build each other up... Coaches correct.
Golden rule. Always

I think if you have a team of experienced players, this is probably good advice.

I encourage our few experienced players to help out the new girls, especially once we're playing games. I think it's much better if my shortstop has a couple words with the green-as-grass second baseman in between plays, "hey, on that play, you cover second, blah blah" than it is for me to yell a reminder from the dugout.

The way I see it: If the new player already knows the information, she just had it reinforced by a trusted veteran. If she didn't or if she forgot, now she knows.

 

[Chaz McNulty]

It is unbelievable.... she gets called a s**ty teammate (by the coach) because everyone says she is always so negative. She attempts to hold themselves accountable and gets punished for it. She was told today that no one wants to even ride the bus with her because she is so mean to everyone. So she sends out a group message telling all the upperclassmen that she is sorry for ruining their SR year and everyone responded with I have no idea what you are talking about. She was benched tonight because she told her pitcher during warmup bull pen that her curve ball was plain stupid ( meaning best she has ever thrown). Another teammate over heard her and told the coach that she is telling the pitcher she sucks and so on. The real problem is the coach because she is just taking the word of a group of around 3-4 girls on the team and never even questioning my DD about. She has played with girls from many different states for the last few years and I have never heard anything negative about her coming from her teammates. I really hope she thinks long and hard about following the path that your DD took.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

When you say this, what is she doing exactly to make someone feel accountable?

 

[coach james]

Experience tells me that only upper class men captains can give subtle suggestions to teammates. Like coach jd described. Being a new girl to the school compounds the problem if shes holding teammates accountable (what does that mean?)
Put your self in the teammates shoes here when the new girl is calling them out.... I don't see that working out in any scenario. I'm sure her intentions were good, but perception is reality to others that don't know her well enough to differentiate.

 

[DRDRODD]

Sorry for your negative experience so far. It's sad, but I believe a lot of this crap is a result of poor leadership. The coach should set the tone of a positive and uplifting environment. As far as a teammate "correcting" other players will almost certainly cause problems.
Players build each other up... Coaches correct.
Golden rule. Always

I totally agree. "Coaching" should be done by the coaches. If I implied in any way that she was trying to be a coach to these girls that is my mistake. Some are taking it as coaching though because they have never played for a competent coach nor have they ever played on a competitive team where the players on the field all want the same thing. I do not think things like trying to push the other players to do a good warm up during pregame or trying to stop them from cutting a lap short because the coach isn't looking "coaching". The ones that have an issue with what she is doing are the ones that feel entitled just because they are on the team. They have never put in work during their personal time to get better and when someone else comes along that has put in the work and is head and shoulders better than them they will just bully them and decimate that persons character because they have no idea how to compete for anything. I get it though it is a defense mechanism for them because that is all they have and the worst part about it is that their parents are doing it also, I guess the apple doesn't fall for from the tree.

Yes you are correct IMO this is all because of poor leadership and when someone tries to introduce some type of leadership that person gets ridiculed for it. It is amazing to me that a coach would allow a couple of people to bring down the entire team. When someone finds cancer growing inside them they cut it our or it ultimately kills them. I will jump down from my soap box now, sorry for the rant lol. In no way was I trying to avenge your post. I find what you wrote very insightful and thank you for sharing Coach.

 

[Orange Socks]

DD is playing a 3 game round robin yesterday. Losing 20-1 and about to be mercy ruled. Bottom of the 3rd DD comes up to bat with 2 outs, she jacks it over the RC fence which starts a little rally. End up losing 20-4. Next game DD is up to bat, score is 6-6 and time is almost up with one runner on base. I hear coach say, hey kid we don't need you to hit it over the fence!!! Well, she hits the bottom of the fence, Runner scores and then DD ends up sliding in at home after the ball gets away from the catcher. Game over. Does the coach pat her on the back for the walk off hit? Nope. She starts yelling at her while walking through the high 5 line for sliding at home and that she could have hurt herself. This is after 3 girls get yelled out for not sliding on close plays. Just pitiful and sad.

 

[FP26]

I think if you have a team of experienced players, this is probably good advice.

I encourage our few experienced players to help out the new girls, especially once we're playing games. I think it's much better if my shortstop has a couple words with the green-as-grass second baseman in between plays, "hey, on that play, you cover second, blah blah" than it is for me to yell a reminder from the dugout.

The way I see it: If the new player already knows the information, she just had it reinforced by a trusted veteran. If she didn't or if she forgot, now she knows.

Experience tells me that only upper class men captains can give subtle suggestions to teammates. Like coach jd described. Being a new girl to the school compounds the problem if shes holding teammates accountable (what does that mean?)
Put your self in the teammates shoes here when the new girl is calling them out.... I don't see that working out in any scenario. I'm sure her intentions were good, but perception is reality to others that don't know her well enough to differentiate.

Both of these are good posts. Both are talking about "team leaders". Being a team leader requires a few things. Typically the player needs to be one of the better and/or most experienced players on the team. They need to be respected by the other players. And among other things, the other players need to be interested in being led to begin with. To Coach JD's point, subtle pointers or reminders handled appropriately can be very effective. Conversely, I have seen some athletes try much too hard and create uncomfortable situations. I have also seen teams that had what I would consider good leaders, but were filled with players that simply were not interested. The leadership skills really didn't matter, because the other players were just ignoring them.

 

[Chaz McNulty]

I totally agree. "Coaching" should be done by the coaches. If I implied in any way that she was trying to be a coach to these girls that is my mistake. Some are taking it as coaching though because they have never played for a competent coach nor have they ever played on a competitive team where the players on the field all want the same thing. I do not think things like trying to push the other players to do a good warm up during pregame or trying to stop them from cutting a lap short because the coach isn't looking "coaching". The ones that have an issue with what she is doing are the ones that feel entitled just because they are on the team. They have never put in work during their personal time to get better and when someone else comes along that has put in the work and is head and shoulders better than them they will just bully them and decimate that persons character because they have no idea how to compete for anything. I get it though it is a defense mechanism for them because that is all they have and the worst part about it is that their parents are doing it also, I guess the apple doesn't fall for from the tree.

Yes you are correct IMO this is all because of poor leadership and when someone tries to introduce some type of leadership that person gets ridiculed for it. It is amazing to me that a coach would allow a couple of people to bring down the entire team. When someone finds cancer growing inside them they cut it our or it ultimately kills them. I will jump down from my soap box now, sorry for the rant lol. In no way was I trying to avenge your post. I find what you wrote very insightful and thank you for sharing Coach.

I see this as probably the main reason for the attitudes of some of the other players. Not all players have the same goals. Many girls play on the HS team because it's fun, and they are not planning a future at the collegiate level. This is not travel ball.