Need Your Opinion

[fastpitch5]

I've had this one assistant coach for 2 seasons now. He's not the best in terms of knowledge of the game, but he has picked up enough since he's been with us to be a decent 3rd base coach and can run a drill pretty efficiently at practice after I give him the detailed instruction. The bad part here is that he's EXTREMELY immature. Seriously...I'm talking high school maturity level here.

He can get a little vocal and argumentative at times, but I can usually reign him in fairly quickly. Well, I finally had enough. After he railed on several kids, and finished on my child, I had enough. I called him at home that night and clearly stated that I'm calling as a parent - don't ever talk to any kid - especially mine - that way in front of me again. Then I put my coaches hat back on and said take a game off (along with his child, b/c they are both hard to handle at times and I'm not going to deal with his kid if he's not there). I later back-tracked and said come to the game, but you're no longer a coach. I've spoken with several of the other parents and they agreed with my decision.

Now he's complaining to the association board. Of course, he's only giving half of the story - you know, the half that makes him look good. I was able to clarify the issues with the association last night, but they told me - in no uncertain terms - I have no right to remove him as an assistant coach! Their reasoning is that this is an all-volunteer association (rec league) and we can't deny a parent's participation unless there are major violations.

I AM FUMING over this!! I'm considering withdrawing from our last 8 (rec) games and just playing our tournies, where the association has no authority so I can drop the guy. Again, I spoke with most of the parents and I have their support. My hesitation comes in b/c of the other teams that will miss out on those games.

What's your thoughts? Should I make a move and shed the guy, or just stick it out and let the guy have his way?

 

[jazz10NE]

If you are the head coach does that allow you to make the decisions of who does what? If so put him on the bench and give him little to no duties at practice - maybe water boy. Perhaps that will get the message through to him.

Keep the games, even if the coach is a pain to you - try to not let it effect what the girls get to do - play games.

 

[Coach JV]

We removed a rec coach a year ago for squeezing a 9 yo in the upper arm.
Things escalated when he yelled at a board member. In your case, if he has not physically touched a child,
you must abide by the board decision. I suggest a parent intervention without your presence to take him down a notch.

 

[sluggers]

I'm with CoachJV.

I'm considering withdrawing from our last 8 (rec) game

You've let your dispute with this idiot get in the way of what this is about---the kids.

You don't hurt the kids. You signed up to do this...so, you play the last 8 games. Your mistake was not talking to the board first.

Should I make a move and shed the guy, or just stick it out and let the guy have his way?

Freeze him out. Take away all his responsibilities, do not include him in any discussions about the team, don't let him know about batting lineup, etc. If he wants to show up and sit in the dugout, then let him.

Do *NOT* get in a fight with the guy. You have to stay calm, or it will get worse.

 

[stephanie]

sit him at the end of the bench keeping stats.

 

[stephanie]

And if the parents are behind you like you say they are, have them write a letter to the board explaining how his behavior is having a negative impact on their DD's..

 

[TimothyJ]

This thing hits close to home with me. I loved baseball, but had a mean, nasty, borderline abusive, coach when I was about 11 or 12. I rode the season out, but told my parents the following year that I wasn't having fun, and didn't want to play anymore ( in our league, you played with the same team/coach every year)

I didn't so much as watch a baseball game on television for about 10 years. The reason I got into coaching was because I was determined to make sure MY kids, and as many others I could affect, had a different experience.

I agree with what everyone has said, ride it out and exclude the guy as much as possible. If you see him make a negative comment to a kid, IMMEDIATELY go over and say something positive to that child. Don't let this tool's attitude be what kids take away from the field.

I'd also continue to pursue removing him, but through the proper channels ( the board)

 

[SnocatzDad]

As a head coach, if you see an assistant "railing" on a kid in a manner your not happy with it shouldn't wait until you get home to address it. I'm not defending the guy, but how do you go from not saying anything, to kicking the guy off the team in one fell swoop without gross misbehaviour (i.e. getting physical with a kid, profanity, etc..). If you don't like the way he coaches then tell him what you don't like about it and let the board know at the same time and let the board know that if the behaviour continues they will need to make a choice between getting rid of him or you. Right now I would tell them your willing to continue coaching the team as long as the board supports that your not going to tolerate screaming at kids and or belittling them as effective coaching.

 

[absdad]

Freeze him out. Get a parent volunteer to take his spot, then have him shag balls at practice, and keep score during the games. I wouldn't think it would take long...

Still, I can't believe the board would say that. So if every parent wanted to coach, then you'd have like 12 assistants? Seriously??

 

[Wookie]

Our rec league has a "conduct code" that each coach, head and assistants, needs to sign before they are allowed to coach. In that code is language specific to address your situation. I would suggest that you get your board to adopt such a code for next year. I think someone on our board found a generic code online - usable for any sport. If the board does not want to add a conduct code, I would not return to the program until they do if I were in your shoes.