Need advice... I screwed up

[CoachCalvin]

I am at a crossroad with my 14u TB team. We have now played two tournaments. The last one this past weekend went awful. First off, Friday nights games were rained out. They decided to cut one of the pool games, leaving one pool game and then dbl elim brackets. We lost pool game 10-2 had our chances to score and did not. Then the wheels came off. We lost 15-0 and then 12-0 to a team we beat in the previous tournament.
After last game I could tell the girls were ready to leave and were disgusted. I had one parent say they needed to talk and then another one talked to me but I could tell she was upset.

I told the parents before we started that we were going to take our lumps, goal was to teach fundamentals and get experience playing. I don't think they thought it would be this bad. The kicker here is I have girls with no enthusiasm, work ethic or desire to even play. The parents wanted more practices and I did that, I still have girls missing practice. I had one girl miss this past tournament because she had a cheerleading camp. I am not a drill sergeant coach, but it seems they need the fear of God before they do anything.

I did not have the parents sign a contract of what is expected and now I realize that is my fault. As I am typing this, I no longer have the desire to coach this team. My wife has heard some of the parents talking very negative about me and other girls on the team. This is a ticking time bomb. How do I handle this? I learned from dad at a very young age to never be quitter. I have never quit before, but I am really considering it now...

 

[Jr10234]

First, contract or not, players who have other priorities shouldn't expect ample playing time. Teams lose, parents should accept it. How far are you into your seas,only playing two so far? How many are you scheduled to complete?

Ask parents to give you 24 hours to reflect yourself, then make time.

Sounds like you think one loss should have been won, did they use pickups for an advantage? Was the loss due to errors? Poor coaching decisions? Etc

 

[David Carter]

First draft up a contract and let everyone know what your expectations are...they can't know what is expected if you don't tell them

Next make sure the 24 hour rule is part is that contract had a girl/parent quit right after a tournament only to two days later beg to be back on the team; we only have nationals left so coach agreed to take her back

Make sure you are playing the right level if different levels of play are available in your area

When you say only two tournaments in.... how long was the commitment just odd because the "season" is pretty much winding down now not starting

 

[sluggers]

The kicker here is I have girls with no enthusiasm, work ethic or desire to even play.

You are probably over-reacting. I doubt that *ALL* the girls don't want to play.

14U is a real tough age. There are many activities for the girls to try. Some girls no longer want to play softball, but don't know how to tell their parents they want to quit.

The girls that come to the practices and games get more playing time. It doesn't matter if Suzy is better than Cindy...if Cindy comes to the practices and games, Cindy plays and Suzy sits.

Talk with the girls and tell them the expectations about games and playing time. Take a close look for cliques on the team. Do you allow the girls to split up into groups at tournaments? If so, you have allowed cliques to form.

Every coach has had the snot kicked out of them before. So, you need to let it go. You may want to try to find some less competitive tournaments.

 

[cuzmail]

Hold a team meeting to cover the things that may have been left out previously.

Announce your "playing rules" (24hr period, practice to play..etc). Get a feel for who is in and who may be out. After the meeting, you will have better information on what is left to build on. Hopefully enough is left where you can take the ones who want to be there and build a team.

You will always have some player turn over. More in the beginning as people figure out they are not a fit or you are not a fit for them.

 

[James Smith]

I had one girl miss this past tournament because she had a cheerleading camp.

My DD has missed practice and games for worse reasons.

Sounds like you might have a mix of players and commitments which is hard. Decide what you want the Team to look like, you are the HC, If you want a Team that shows up and has fun, maybe wins a game here and there great, if you want players that work their butt off and complete every tourney great too. Sign my DD up for the show up and have fun team.

You need to figure out who you are and have a Team meeting and define it and get the right players.

A contract is worthless; I will sign and then ignore anything you want me to. You need to clearly define your goals though which I will pay attention to.

Hang in there.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

Every coach has had the snot kicked out of them before. So, you need to let it go. You may want to try to find some less competitive tournaments.

Good advice here. Though I'm an advocate for finding the best competition to play for valid reasons, sometimes a team may need to drop down in classification or play a couple of "tune up" tourneys to get their mojo back. I'm not talking about trophy hunting, just getting a few wins under your belt will do wonders for a team who is in a slup physically and mentally.

 

[CoogansBluff]

I have never quit before, but I am really considering it now...

I'd put your feelings on the table for parents and players. You don't have to say you're ready to quit, but I'd admit that things aren't going the way you had hoped, that you didn't enjoy the last tournament, and let's discuss how we can make it a better experience for everyone.

I'd also ask myself what I need to have in order to continue coaching the team. One might be that you will coach the team only if parents do not criticize or complain to each other, but only to the head coach. What are the conditions that you demand in order for you to be head coach?

And finally, my only other tip would be to make sure that the players have the same goal as the coach. A common mistake is for parents and coach to decide what they want for the kids and force that on kids who might be in a different place. I'd really want to know how the players felt about the tournament. And don't present it in a way that leads them to feel bad, or feel the way you want them to feel. Present it in a way that elicits candid feedback.

 

[canyonjoe]

I would ask 2 questions
1. Do I still want to do this?
2. Do I think that I have enough talent to compete at this level?

If you answer yes to both then you can keep going.

At the next practice get the girls together without parents and talk to them. Tell them they
are playing teams that have played for years together,etc. Then challenge them in a positive
way to see if they wan to work to improve. I'm sure all of the players came from Rec where they
were superstars. While there are talented players in some rec teams, in travel everyone is talented and
knows how to play.

After that talk to the parents and tell them again that you will struggle, but continue to improve.
Get them to commit to coming to practice, work with the kids on the side, or even consider lessons
for some of the players that may need it.

Finally, take a look at yourself and see what you can do. If you have never coached a travel team before, I
would find another team in your organization or area and see if they will let you go to watch a couple of their practices. Even
better if they are 14 or 16U. Watch how the experienced coaches run practice and try to take some of that so you can run a
more effective practice. It makes a huge difference.

Finally, make sure that you are playing in the right class tournaments. You may have to travel an extra hour but play in tournaments
you can compete in. Once you get better move back to the ones you were beaten badly and try them.

 

[cmustangsfp]

2 tourneys is just the beginning. Give it some time. Cancel your next tourney and work hard in practice and then reschedule another tourney. I took a rec all star team to A//B tourneys when we were a C team at best. I did this for what I call "immersion therapy". They needed to get a good dose of "OMG!" before we went to regionals and states. We went in with very low expectations and ended up beating our expectations. We didn't win any of those tourneys but we did get a couple of wins when people didn't expect us to.

So circle your wagons and regroup. You care enough to want to do this correctly, which is good. Look at why the team lost those games. Was it bad pitching, bad hitting, errors, mental mistakes, bad throws, etc? Look at what actions caused the losses, not what person caused the losses. Spend your next practices working on correcting those issues.