Is there 50 ways to leave a team?

[Cannonball]

Perhaps a List is needed. I'll start:

1. Send regrets for the team banquet mentioning that you won't be available since your dd will be playing for her new team.
2. Have dd show up for last game in a different uniform but have the correct uniform ready. Mention that you just got confused.
3. I love this one since I had it done to one of my teams, have players from dd's new team show up at a game and tell everyone how neat it is going to be having your dd play with them.
4. Ask coach if he knew that there were a lot of tryouts in the area and ask if his daughter is attending any of them.

 

[InsidePitch]

I did send a note but basically stated that after careful consideration I felt it was time for a change. I made myself available for assistance re team questions.

 

[sluggers]

I'm going to give logic a try:

Being completely objective and non-judgmental,

Either: (A) your coach is an a** or (B) you are a crazy parent.

If (A), then any criticism you may give will fall on deaf ears. If (B), then your criticism is unfair and should be ignored.

So, under either (A) or (B), you should simply say, "Our DD has chosen to do something different next year. Bye."

 

[InsidePitch]

The coach ( ex-college player) was fine, it was the manager and the non-management of the team that was my beef. No communication, no planning, no uniforms because they didn't think about it, not a full roster in April, not getting back to those that tried out in the fall, not one email from Nov-March. That is why we left. I don't think I'm a crazy parent. I just like to know in advance what we are doing.

In the end I just said after consideration I felt it was time for a change and left it at that. They can infer anything they like and I'm sure I'll hear about how I was an impossible parent and a disruption to the team...

 

[Coach JV]

As hard as it is-BITE YOUR TONGUE! that coach is doing the best he can with what god gave him.
Some coaching styles fit one kid and not another. As frustrated as you may be, take the high road
and say nothing about your reasons. There should be no hurt feelings either way.

 

[SoftSocDad]

As hard as it is-BITE YOUR TONGUE! that coach is doing the best he can with what god gave him.
Some coaching styles fit one kid and not another. As frustrated as you may be, take the high road
and say nothing about your reasons. There should be no hurt feelings either way.

In general, yeah, you're right.

But at the same time, taking the high road might actually limit the development of the other players being left behind. Of course, we can say it's each player's responsibility, along with their family, to figure out the right fit for themselves without worrying about others, but there's a disposition towards altruism in many of us that has nothing to do with being smarmy or vindictive. Even if a person or group isn't open to change, you can always give them something to thinking about in a polite way.

As for hurt feelings, we're already dealing with that in regards to next spring, and our kid is only a REC player. I've been a bit outspoken here, but made only one comment all season long and it was at the time of the mid-season parent meeting called by the coaches...and even then, I did it quietly, after all the other parents had gone, because I wasn't trying to embarrass anyone.

Even with the best of intentions, it's not always possible to protect people's feelings...which is why I usually opt for brutal honesty.

 

[Wookie]

The coach ( ex-college player) was fine, it was the manager and the non-management of the team that was my beef. No communication, no planning, no uniforms because they didn't think about it, not a full roster in April, not getting back to those that tried out in the fall, not one email from Nov-March. QUOTE]

It sounds like you had someone who wasn't quite aware of all the duties that a team needs a coach to do besides the actually coaching of the players. Maybe you, or someone else, should have volunteered to assist in these matters - what I like to call Special Assistant Coach, also know as a Team Mom/Dad. Not everyone has the "executive" skills required to be a supervisor so maybe they needed a hand.