- May 12, 2015
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How do you deal with a coach who's always putting you down, and affecting how you play because he/she always has something bad to say.
How to deal with a mean coach?
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Get off the team.
A coach like that isn't going to change. All the coach can do is ruin the sport. Softball sbould be fun.
obbay
Banned
I agree with Bob. the coach does not know what they're doing.
DDs HS team was doing very well but recently they've started to falter- the coach has them all scared to bat and scared to make a mistake, so they are thinking too much about not screwing up and are not able to relax, let alone have any confidence in themselves.
DDs HS team was doing very well but recently they've started to falter- the coach has them all scared to bat and scared to make a mistake, so they are thinking too much about not screwing up and are not able to relax, let alone have any confidence in themselves.
Before we jump to conclusions that the coach is always negative, remember it appears that the person asking is a player and not a parent.
I wouldn't say leave the team. Is the coach making you better? Is the coach "ALWAYS" putting you down or is the coach attempting to motivate you and there style is not working for you? Have you talked to your coach about the way he speaks to you? A good line of communication between player and coach may change the way they coach you.
There is little to no information in the OP and I think without being there it's really hard to say what is considered ALWAYS and putt downs. This is age dependent to me also and by the name of the OP either the number they wear is 99 or that's their year which makes them late 16/18U.
I'm hard pressed to tell a player to quit because it got tough for them.
I wouldn't say leave the team. Is the coach making you better? Is the coach "ALWAYS" putting you down or is the coach attempting to motivate you and there style is not working for you? Have you talked to your coach about the way he speaks to you? A good line of communication between player and coach may change the way they coach you.
There is little to no information in the OP and I think without being there it's really hard to say what is considered ALWAYS and putt downs. This is age dependent to me also and by the name of the OP either the number they wear is 99 or that's their year which makes them late 16/18U.
I'm hard pressed to tell a player to quit because it got tough for them.
Jquick makes a good point. It's hard to give advice confidently without more details or experiencing this coach first-hand.
That said, my daughter is a '99. At age 15, at this point, if she tells me a coach is mean and that she doesn't like playing for him/her, it's probably the coach and not her. She's mature, confident and experienced enough to where she can call it for what it is. Not necessarily the first impressions. She's still not great at that. But after she's given it some time, she can size you up pretty good. When she was younger, I found that it was often a case of meeting in the middle. That is, yeah, the coach could do better, but DD needed to learn to be more secure and less sensitive.
That said, my daughter is a '99. At age 15, at this point, if she tells me a coach is mean and that she doesn't like playing for him/her, it's probably the coach and not her. She's mature, confident and experienced enough to where she can call it for what it is. Not necessarily the first impressions. She's still not great at that. But after she's given it some time, she can size you up pretty good. When she was younger, I found that it was often a case of meeting in the middle. That is, yeah, the coach could do better, but DD needed to learn to be more secure and less sensitive.
- Jun 7, 2013
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One of my favorite softball T-shirts said, "If it ain't fun it ain't softball!".
- Jun 7, 2013
- 984
- 0
In this forum, and elsewhere, I've sometimes seen these abusive coaches complimented because they win. It's just their style, they may say. However, I think there are so many non-abusive winning coaches that any particular myth that you have to be "abusive" to win is disproved. I believe that this "abusiveness" is a defect in the coaches personality and not an ingredient to softball success. It may be time to find another team.
I thought this was my daughter for a second 
We've had our fair share of tough coaches over the past 5 years. There are lines that coaches should not cross... talk to your parents about these lines and if they cross them let your parents know.
A few lines I talk to my kid about, (aside from the obvious) no coach should use abusive language towards you. No coach should ever put their hands on you or any teammate. Aside from that the coaches have a job to push you and make you better. Sometimes it's not gonna feel so great.
We've had our fair share of tough coaches over the past 5 years. There are lines that coaches should not cross... talk to your parents about these lines and if they cross them let your parents know.
A few lines I talk to my kid about, (aside from the obvious) no coach should use abusive language towards you. No coach should ever put their hands on you or any teammate. Aside from that the coaches have a job to push you and make you better. Sometimes it's not gonna feel so great.
JJsqueeze
Dad, Husband....legend
As a player you set boundaries with the coach, if his language crosses the line to being abusive in any way by calling you stupid or something like that then you tell him that he is your coach and is free to correct your gameplay but calling you names is not acceptable.
If he responds by holding his tongue and complimenting you on your ability to stand up to him then he is a human. If he is agitated at all by you doing this then he is a slug and you find a new team.
If he responds by holding his tongue and complimenting you on your ability to stand up to him then he is a human. If he is agitated at all by you doing this then he is a slug and you find a new team.
The line between motivational and abusive can be very thin.
Also, it is different for every kid.
There are several coaches who have coached my DD #1 and my DD #2.
There were some cases in which DD #1 thought a coach was abusive, but DD #3 thought the coach was fantastic.
These were coaches who are very knowledgable about the game but can get a bit intense.
OTOH, DD #3 played some TB games against a team where she thought the coach was abusive. DD #3 said she would never play for that coach. One of DD #3's friends now plays for that coach and thinks he is fantastic.
Also, it is different for every kid.
There are several coaches who have coached my DD #1 and my DD #2.
There were some cases in which DD #1 thought a coach was abusive, but DD #3 thought the coach was fantastic.
These were coaches who are very knowledgable about the game but can get a bit intense.
OTOH, DD #3 played some TB games against a team where she thought the coach was abusive. DD #3 said she would never play for that coach. One of DD #3's friends now plays for that coach and thinks he is fantastic.
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