How do you handle negative team members?

[knightsb]

Out of 11 players, we have two on our team that are of the glass 1/2 empty variety. Rarely a positive thing thing to say. Rarely do they cheer, or complement their teammates. Most of the time the other 9 do well ignoring the negative comments or vibe, but on occasion the "Negative Nellies" are able to put a damper on the teams spirit.

We have suggested the team read "The Mind Gym".
The coaches are generally very positive and are constantly reinforcing "positive self talk".

Do you have any negative personalities on your team? If you do, how do you try and keep it from bringing the whole team down?

 

[RubberBiscuit]

Fire them!
Cancer!

 

[sdsoftball]

Unfortunately RB is right. We had one girl out of 12 that was very negative towards everyone else on the team. Always pointing out mistakes they made, always correcting them all while not paying attention to her own job. It became an even bigger problem because she would tell the other girls things that were not correct. This started two years ago. In the off-season we addressed the situation with player and parents but it continued last season as well. After last season we parted ways. It's just not worth it. Dealing with that kid took too much time away from the rest of the team getting better.

 

[CoogansBluff]

I would make it a rule that negativity is not allowed. I'd make a written rule, and I'd have a meeting to discuss that one rule. I'd spell out exactly what I meant by negativity - You are not allowed to complain. You are not allowed to criticize. I would define for them what an energy vampire is and explain that any behaviors that make your teammates less enthusiastic or less optimistic about what they are doing are violations of teams rules and won't be tolerated. I'd explain that each player is judged more by her attitude than anything else.

 

[CoachKevin]

Unfortunately RB is right. We had one girl out of 12 that was very negative towards everyone else on the team. Always pointing out mistakes they made, always correcting them all while not paying attention to her own job. It became an even bigger problem because she would tell the other girls things that were not correct. This started two years ago. In the off-season we addressed the situation with player and parents but it continued last season as well. After last season we parted ways. It's just not worth it. Dealing with that kid took too much time away from the rest of the team getting better.

I have had a few like this. I now address the team right off the get go and tell them there will be no correcting of each other, that is our jobs as coaches, there will be no team captains, everyone is equal on this team. If the coaching staff hears or sees negative things, they will pull aside the player and have a talk, if it doesn't change they sit until it does. Take responsibility for your mistakes, do not blame others because I will be the first person to fess up when I make a coaching mistake, and believe me I will make plenty...

So far it has worked pretty good with very little internal strife

 

[JJsqueeze]

Talk to the parents. I know that my little one has a personality disorder to shift blame for everything and never take responsibility for her actions. In one of her first 8u games 2 years ago she made a not so good throw to 1st and it was dropped and she said "you should have caught that" with that annoying little girl exasperated tone, to the other player. Her coach (me) called timeout and walked up to her and said "if you ever blame a teammate for a mistake again I will kick you off this team and you will never play another softball game as long as you live". It hasn't happened since, in fact, she has become super supportive of the lesser skilled players. The point is that the parenting is where this problem comes from and parents need to set zero tolerance policies for this kind of BS. DD still shifts blame to her sister, her cat, her dog etc. But never to a teammate.

 

[smddad]

Require everyone to read "Toilets, Bricks, Fish hooks and Pride." Buy the books with team funds, if necessary.

 

[CoogansBluff]

... tell them there will be no correcting of each other, that is our jobs as coaches...

Never thought of that as a rule, but I like it. Sometimes kids mean well and think they're being leaders by correcting their teammates, but I've seen it lead to a lot of resentments. Some of the most unpopular kids on the team are those that coach their teammates.

 

[Sliced Bread]

Sit the whole team down and watch this, talk about it afterward and layout the expectation. Have the parents present as well. I know this is a little tougher for the younger ages to grasp, but the message needs to be conveyed to them at their level. I do this every year and it doesn't always stop everything, but it does help and they know what the expectation is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXQ2MdlwHrI

 

[Spartans21]

I thought this was awesome.

I just heard Patty Gasso speak at a clinic and she had a similar situation 2-3 years back. She had 4 upper classmen who fit this description. She felt it was bringing the whole program down. She called them into the office one by one and asked how nice would college be if they never had to wake up at 6a.m. for practice, if they were free to do whatever they wanted, if there was no curfew, and if they could do all this and still get their education paid for? She told them she would honor their scholarship if they decided to go that route. All 4 asked if they could have some time to think about it, Patty had her answer right there. All 4 ended up quitting and the rest was history!

I realize this story may not directly apply to you but I just wanted to share it!