How do you deal with parents....

[all]

You 'didn't want to chance it'? Chance what? It's an 8u softball game, or did you not realize that at the time? Even though all the girls who want to try should get a chance at that age, you had set up an expectation that your 3rd pitcher would go in anytime you got to the 3rd inning and then you did not do that.

Anyone caught up in winning 8u ball games should not be coaching 8u. The parents' actions are inexcusable, but the same applies to you.

You can only learn from your mistake if you recognize that you made a mistake.

The girls in general were down because we hadn't won a game at all in the season at that point. We had a chance to win it and I felt the girls needed that so they didn't give up. There were two of them talking about they don't know why they practice because they don't win anyways. I did tell them it's about learning right now and eventually you will win. We did end up winning that game and the girls spirits were lifted. I felt I did what was best for my team.

 

[all]

Thanks for your input. The 3rd girl does not pitch strikes. They are everywhere BUT in the catchers glove. Most go behind the batters or on the ground.

Yes, Kudos to you for Coaching, often a thankless position!
Yes, Code of Conduct for players, parents AND coaches.. (i'm just sayin'!) Yes, Parents meeting at beginning of the year to go over that!

Totally agree that you are sending mixed messages. Maybe you need to define the mission statement of your coaching style, and your team goals.

If you are playing to win, let the parents know. In this case, your answer could have been 'if we are up or down 7 runs, your daughter will pitch in the 3rd inning". Or, let the parents know beforehand.. "Your daughter has to be able to pitch strikes 85% of the time to play in a game, unless we are up/down 8 runs". Is this 3rd pitcher throwing strikes? If she is, why not let her pitch, and let your defense step up their game??

Same with defensive time. You could say something like this "I will always put the best 9 players on the field, if your daughter is one of them, she will play 95% of the time, if she is not, she won't" or "I like to put the best 9 out most of the time, but all the girls will get to play at least 1 inning of offense and one inning of defense every game".

By giving them specific guidelines, they can make the decision to play on your team (or not) with those guidelines.

 

[all]

This:


Does not equal this:



I'm not trying to say which is right and which is wrong in this case, but it does need to be consistent either way.

Here is a copy of what I just replied to another post. I guess I should have included this in the main text. It's about experience but what do I do when I have girls talking getting down because they are never a team that wins? I was just simply torn on what to do.



the girls in general were down because we hadn't won a game at all in the season at that point. We had a chance to win it and I felt the girls needed that so they didn't give up. There were two of them talking about they don't know why they practice because they don't win anyways. I did tell them it's about learning right now and eventually you will win. We did end up winning that game and the girls spirits were lifted. I felt I did what was best for my team.

 

[all]

It's too late in this case, but next year I would have a parent meeting and tell them you have a 24 hour rule. If you want to discuss anything about YOUR DD (not any other player) then schedule a meeting at least 24 hours after a game. Typically emotions are very high right after a game and it is not a very good idea to have a conversation as you could see.

great idea!

 

[all]

I do not think I will ever coach 8u again. I'll stick to 12u and 14u

 

[all]

our AD has been great! Thankfully, because it wasn't just me who had a parental problem. There were several coaches that he had to assist.

 

[Brandi Brown]

Some of the vilest, cruelest comments about players I've ever heard (as an umpire) came at 8U games.

I agree. Our first game of the season my little first base player uncharacteristically caught a perfect throw, tagged the base, then cleanly dropped the ball. The entire opposing teams fan base erupted in laughter screaming "ha ha she dropped the ball". Broke her little heart. They never cease to amaze me in how some of them scream at little kids. Worse is when they get behind their own daughter while she is up to bat and yell through the back stop move up, move back, hit it, don't miss!, or some other unnecessary comment.

I have 8U too. I have a full set of dream parents this season as far as the ones that are interested are extremely helpful and the ones that aren't could care less and do the drop off babysitter thing, which keeps them out of my hair. As for who plays, this year everybody is. I choose bench by how many times a girl has missed practice which is pretty much equates to the same girls who put forth the least amount of effort. Talent or not, the girls who are giving me 100% get to try whatever they want to work for. Next year I will have a short letter for the parents to sign that states as much. The only rule is a girl can't sit out 2 innings in a row here. I made the deal with the girls early about playing time and position equating to effort. So far no complaints.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

Sometimes this is the only way to deal with lunatic parents.

 

[Rambler34]

Cruel comments about 8U softball? Bad parents in 8U? This is a nice little post from a local message board after this past weekends state tourney.

"03 XXX Vs 03 XXX what a joke. Maybe the past XXX teams could compete and even beat the XXX but not the 03 XXX. They played 3 times this past weekend and only managed to score 7 runs.Well either XXX are better coached or Dumb and Dumber are coaching the 03 XXX !!! Go watch both teams play and you vote. Sure wish the 03 XXX could have kept it together they at least put up a fight. The arguement over who is the best 03 team in the state, was answered this past weekend, so dont ask again."

I am sure rants like this will help this organization find great parents and kids to come join them in the future.

 

[maksoftball]

The way I see it is that the 8U parents are NEWBIES. They don't know better, they have an immature brain-to-mouth filter, and are just downright inexperienced. I have noticed that the most experienced parents are the ones who sit back and keep their mouths shut. They also have the best poker faces I have ever seen. LMAO. That is not to say that this applies to all parents new to sports, but it's pretty darn close. LOL.

Maybe that should be addressed at the beginning of the season...broach the subject of emotions before/during/after games, make sure the parents are aware that it's about the girls having fun...not about competition...not at that age. At that age, they should be having FUN learning the game...in doing that, if they love the sport, it will grow exponentially if done right...and this comes with the cooperation of the coaches and parents' relationships. The parents need to be aware of the negative impact their emotional tirades have on the girls...takes ALL the fun out of the game...ALL of it.

I'm not a coach so I probably have said all the wrong things. I have seen/heard the parent side of things; I have dealt with coaches that have no business being coaches; and I have known coaches that have downright earned my respect. The hardest thing I have had to learn as a pitcher's mom is to sit back, zip it, write the checks and drive the car. LOL.