'HONEY you should have had that grounder'

[Greatdaytobeawildcat]

As a coach, I never called anyone honey.

As an umpire, I probably have. I know 99% of the time, I say "catch" or "kiddo" or the girl's name, but I know I have probably said something like "Sorry, hun" if I backed into her by accident or something, without thinking.

 

[Rolling Hard]

Can I or should I be uncomfortable and/or offended if a young man or lady calls me dude?

 

[nikkilugi]

Shoot..... I call all the girls on DD’s team Honey. I’m not a coach - just a mom but the way some people are going on it seems I’m now in the wrong as well? I will say not one girl has been upset and not one family has said anything to me so I’m gonna keep doing it. It’s a term of endearment and I often feel like all the girls on my DD’s teams are my daughters.....

 

[radness]

.

Can I or should I be uncomfortable and/or offended if a young man or lady calls me dude?

Are you saying your ok with adults using sugar words addressing your young daughter on her team?
What if she doesnt get the honey attached to comments, she notices others do?


Frankly this post of yours has a big solid point in it.

Would/have I ever call a boy Honey? Nope. Sweetheart? Nope. Why????? Because they are boys! I refer to them dudes, bros, gentlemen, guys and knuckleheads.

 

[jdint]

When did sweetheart, honey and darling become creepy? Is lady friend creepy too? On Jan.22nd 2002? Ok when then? How? by whose standard? Why has it become creepy? Has the english language evolved? Are language standards the same in all parts of the country? Are the standard the same across all age groups? Is the word "mam" derogatory now too. Who gets to make up the language rules? Are there genders? Are he and she bad words too? Should boys (male gender) be allowed to play girls FP softball and compete for scholarship money? Who draws the lines?

Yes, referring to a 14 year old girl on your team as your "lady friend" is creepy. Was that a serious question?

You can say whatever you please. I don't care, but someone asked a question to start the thread, and I am only trying to provide
meaningful conversation.

As a rule of thumb, I personally try to avoid terms people often use to refer to their significant other in relationships. I don't use any of these terms anyway so it's quite easy for me.

Again, just my opinion. Carry on as you see fit. I'm not triggered, butthurt nor do I feel cancelled.✌

 

[_MIA_]

If I (innocently) did something (that has no effect on my ability to reach my goals as a coach) and I was made aware that it made somebody uncomfortable, then I wouldn't do it anymore. It isn't my job as a coach (if I coached) to be the PC Police.

 

[heman1202]

I really think some people here are missing the point completely. This is not a snowflake thing.

 

[Rolling Hard]

.
Are you saying your ok with adults using sugar words addressing your young daughter on her team?
What if she doesnt get the honey attached to comments, she notices others do?


Frankly this post of yours has a big solid point in it.

I am uniform with my term sweetheart. I don't think serious players are going to take the time and effort to notice if the coach is uniform in their word disbursement. Serious players are too busy trying to get better. Have noticed an AC that is harder on bigger girls but we are not quitting the team over it.

 

[Tatonka]

Not ok. Definitely cringe worthy. The older the player, the more inappropriate it gets. I don't even use those terms with my daughter on the field.

I wonder if there would be a difference in reaction if a male or female coach said it.

Outside of cringy, it just seems derogatory to address a female (outside of your spouse or child as a term of affection) in this manner.

Nope, I'll stand by my opinion....it's sad. Of course, opinions are like azzholes, everybody has one and some of them stink. Cringy? lol Derogatory? I suppose it could be said with that type of intent and you'd know it was meant that way based on the way it's delivered. When Rad/Turbo first started this thread it was specifically about females, now it's morphed to say well, you wouldn't use this term or other "cutesie" terms for males. Given the current state of affairs in America and the temperature of the vernacular being used by so many in the media and on social media being used to describe everyone so negatively and viciously, this rejection of the term "honey" is ridiculous and sad. Getting upset because someone who uses a term like 'hon" or honey out of long ingrained habits (from any source whether geographical, cultural, basic upbringing, etc.) is a personal choice and probably says more about you than the person saying it. Again, it can be a teachable moment if it truly offends. Say something about it, open a conversation with that person. Don't shrink away and say oh, I don't like that, it offends me. Some people are offended by others easily offended nature. Guys have been called all kinds of derogatory names/terms over the years by their coaches (on the field and off)...sure a lot of it has been over the line, nasty and just plain wrong. Truly intentional bad, insulting, destructive behavior needs to be addressed and weeded out and it is a process that is happening. I'll take an old school, tough love approach over a pattycake, creepy, sniffin' and rear kissin' approach any day.

I've seen entire teams (on a player level) embrace the use of this term (Honey) as well as other terms like babe, sister, playa, etc, etc...and maybe, while they were laughimg and joking around someone felt abused and bad about it? C'mon really?

 

[Cannonball]

So, with all due respect, don't you think you might be coming across just a tad.........butthurt?

Most likely. LOL