'HONEY you should have had that grounder'

[radness]

I've been called honey, hun, darlin, by women I don't know my whole life. Hell, I was called sweet pea at Taco Bell by a girl that might have been 15. Should I have demanded to speak to her manager for crossing some imaginary boundary? I was also called a hell of a lot worse by every basketball, baseball and football coach I ever had. Who cares, it's a word. If you think someone that has coached as long as Cannonball has should retire over calling someone honey then you are what's wrong with society and all this cancel culture b.s. is ridiculous. How about if someone doesn't like being called a certain word then they have a talk with coach about it? Everyone expects these kids to discuss any other issues with coach and act like adults, why not in this situation? We are raising a society full of candy asses and frankly it sickens me as much as it makes me sad. Btw, I never call any girls I coach honey, it's usually girls or ladies.

Just as a discussion point.
MikeP post describes an interesting complexity.
He was called cutsie names...
He didnt mind it. (or didnt comment it was bad)
*Yet in his last sentence says he himself would never call girls he coached honey.
( would you call boys honey?)
*Perhaps if he could explain why he chose that (imo) healthy boundary?
*Might be something else there thats important?!

Adults being called whatever and reacting one way or the other is an adult in that situation.
Not a teenager.

I have also been called nice little cutsie names.
As an adult have the 'where with all' to determine those situations.
Do teenagers? Or everyone for that matter?
That said
Have also noted when comments were crossing a line between casual or your hitting on me, but there was also 'That was creepy' instances.

Some people may like or dismiss any sweetie comment. No matter who it comes from, when or where.
But * will say probably there are times and places it can be more disturbing because,
WE CANT JUST WALK AWAY FROM IT
At work, school, team
Places we spend time at and will return to. And deserve comfortable surroundings.

How about places that are more peculiar
Like in a public bathroom?

*Its unfortunet to need to discuss these topics!
We have seen some interesting double standards in our society.
Myself believe in a strong backbone.
However can also recognize there are people who cross the line in ways that do make situations awkward.
(heck dfp is proof of people getting disgusted at coach yeller or berated team environments)
Because of this brought this topic to dfp simply to acknowledge that our words can and do impact those around us.

Find theres actually an easy solution to this~
simply remove the pet sugar words when at a team function.
it is not your time
its shared time!
With multiple perspectives who probably do not interpret things the same.

 

[heman1202]

This is sad.

Maybe. What is also sad is your inability to see what could be wrong with this. I for one would not allow my daughter to think it is ok for a male (or female) authority figure to call her sweetheart or honey when addressing her.

It's not about being triggered or thin skinned, it is about how to appropriately address a young lady. I don't care who calls you Hon or babe or whatever, it's not the same thing.

Would it be ok for a male high school teacher to address 15/16 girls as honey or sweetheart? Would it be ok if you heard players refer to the coach in the same manner or would it be uncomfortable?

 

[Cannonball]

Know your boundaries and there is no worry.
If its that hard for you to not coach without words of endearment
then i will agree you should not coach.
Along with the impact it may make on the adolescent.
It can have ramifications on the adult do to perceived context. As @JOHNN noted. The wildfire from this can spread quickly.
At the college level the coaches arent even supposed to touch a player.
These type of words would get a h.s. and college coach suspended.
If not worse.

Of course my point was that I don't go into a practice or game worrying about how someone else is going to interpret my meaning or my use of language. In 36 years on the field, I've simply been me and that has worked for a lot of players and parents. While it has involved intense moments, I have never, with the exception of one time, cussed or said things I regret. I'll simply have to be me in an age where everyone else gets butthurt easily. If that is the case, so many of you have made the point that HS ball doesn't matter so those offended can take find other places to play.

 

[BT3100]

Maybe. What is also sad is your inability to see what could be wrong with this. I for one would not allow my daughter to think it is ok for a male (or female) authority figure to call her sweetheart or honey when addressing her.

It's not about being triggered or thin skinned, it is about how to appropriately address a young lady. I don't care who calls you Hon or babe or whatever, it's not the same thing.

Would it be ok for a male high school teacher to address 15/16 girls as honey or sweetheart? Would it be ok if you heard players refer to the coach in the same manner or would it be uncomfortable?

You make very good points.
Not saying that you fall into this group but I know 3 sets of parents who share the same type of sentiments. I was checking DDs tick tok on Sunday and 2 of the 3 girls from those parents were doing things on on tik tok that would embarrass and shame the entire family. Some people who get triggered by what others say need to check the goings on under their own roof.
I personally don't care if someone calls my kid sweetie or honey as long as they don't cross any boundaries. My DD has self respect and will address any parent or coach who says something that is disrespectful. The most important thing a parent can teach a child is how to get along without them. My fear is that parents today over react to everything.

 

[Cannonball]

In the mid 70s when I was playing HS baseball, I made the all area team. I wish I could find that article. To paraphrase, my HS coach said about me that I didn't have any athletic ability but I outworked everyone. I led the metropolitan area in hitting that year. I had to make a choice then. What mattered from that quote? I opted to determine that the most important part was not that he didn't think I was athletic but he admired how hard I worked. Could you see that happening today without someone getting upset and running to the AD?

 

[Rolling Hard]

Would/have I ever call a boy Honey? Nope. Sweetheart? Nope. Why????? Because they are boys! I refer to them dudes, bros, gentlemen, guys and knuckleheads.

 

[jdint]

Why don't all us old dudes use this is as learning moment. You know, one of them there "life lessons" everybody talks about.

If you are an older man, especially any type of authority figure, calling a young girl honey or darling is kind of creepy.

I know it will be tough for us, having grown up being called all sorts of awful names, but I think if we pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, we can overcome this incredible obstacle that has been put in our path. Then our minds can be free to move on
to all the other things going on in the world today.

 

[radness]

Of course my point was that I don't go into a practice or game worrying about how someone else is going to interpret my meaning or my use of language. In 36 years on the field, I've simply been me and that has worked for a lot of players and parents. While it has involved intense moments, I have never, with the exception of one time, cussed or said things I regret. I'll simply have to be me in an age where everyone else gets butthurt easily. If that is the case, so many of you have made the point that HS ball doesn't matter so those offended can take find other places to play.

Understand the 'simply being me' working well with people.
Sounds like nice career with integrity. Having been around for decades....
Have you encountered those
Ugh not so great people in softball?
Because this isnt about you personally...this is about how to provide a good environment.

Certainly reading dfp we see a diverse group that have different reasons to like or dislike a team.
This topic included.

 

[jdint]

Of course my point was that I don't go into a practice or game worrying about how someone else is going to interpret my meaning or my use of language. In 36 years on the field, I've simply been me and that has worked for a lot of players and parents. While it has involved intense moments, I have never, with the exception of one time, cussed or said things I regret. I'll simply have to be me in an age where everyone else gets butthurt easily. If that is the case, so many of you have made the point that HS ball doesn't matter so those offended can take find other places to play.

So, with all due respect, don't you think you might be coming across just a tad.........butthurt?

 

[Rolling Hard]

When did sweetheart, honey and darling become creepy? Is lady friend creepy too? On Jan.22nd 2002? Ok when then? How? by whose standard? Why has it become creepy? Has the english language evolved? Are language standards the same in all parts of the country? Are the standard the same across all age groups? Is the word "mam" derogatory now too. Who gets to make up the language rules? Are there genders? Are he and she bad words too? Should boys (male gender) be allowed to play girls FP softball and compete for scholarship money? Who draws the lines?