High School Softball

[townhound]

I'm sure many of you have had your daughters go through a High school tryout. I have a dilemma. My DD is an 8th grader trying out this year(there are several). My question is: she was told she was on the bubble. My take on that is that she is on the bubble of being cut. However, there is atleast 1 girl who has been told she is good as far as getting cut(whom I have coached in rec league) that honestly cannot hold a candle to my DD. She is a much better ballpayer and is definetly more athletic. My daughters game isnt perfect and I wont say that it is. I'm just trying to figure why a coach would tell her this? Is he wanting to see how much he can get out of her? Testing her mentally? Testing her will to succeed? I dont know. She has asked but his answers are vague, and just says simply you are on the bubble. The coach has made comments about my daughter to the rest of the girls trying out like"see how she throws! See how her mechanics are!!" Its like he compliments her in one breathe then crushes her the next. I know its not attitude, i have never known her to give anyone a bad attitude to except yours truly!!lol. Any advice??? I wouldnt even bring it up except for the girl that has apparently made the team, really, she isnt that good, at anything. Bad mechanics all around.

 

[Jquick823]

Politics. has been and always will be a part of it. That would be my first guess. Second would be that we as parents only see what our DD's do better and not what they do worse than competition. I dealt with this last season when i thought my DD should play over others. Hope everything works out.

 

[Osric]

She's in 8th grade trying out for the HS team? My advice: Let it go!

If she makes the team, great. She gets to play with girls older than her and maybe she'll learn some things (but then, maybe she'll spend the whole season on the bench and never see the field). If she doesn't make the team, then what is the problem? She's in 8th grade. She shouldn't necessarily make the team anyways. That another girl (even if not as good) makes the team shouldn't really come into the equation, imo. Getting an 8th grader on a HS team is a bonus. Take it as such.

 

[7smom]

Do you know for sure the other girl has made the team? There are plenty of kids out there who like to brag themself up to whoever will listen. Or, perhaps she misunderstood the coach. I always tell my kids not to believe another 12, 13, 14 etc. year old without somehow verifying the information. Even if the coach has made decisions mentally, I don't know too many that are stupid enough to say those things openly before tryouts had ended. That would be a no-no in our schools.

Is it possible for 8th graders to play JV or Varsity in your state (it is in ours)- maybe the coach was telling your DD she is on the bubble of making the HS team instead of a MS team?

 

[townhound]

As a parent, my first thought was politics. But I cant make myself go there. If there is, there is. Nothing i can do about it. The thing is, i have had multiple people say that she was ready for this(previous coaches and parents of existing high school players)I have had some of the varisty players say she is doing awesome in tryouts. If it is head games, its working. She is so stressed out about it(and so are her parents) that I am worried that it will affect her tryouts. She has already said that this is it, if she doesnt make it then she is done with high school ball. Not the fact that she might get cut, just how its being handled. So that in itself sucks!!

 

[townhound]

We dont have a middle school team so they are allowed to play high school ball. There are 6-8 openings on the jv squad and 3-4 on varsity. And the girl good be bragging, cant say for sure.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Any advice???

Encourage your daughter to keep giving it her best and let it play out. What are your other options? I don't see the 'dilemma.' What do you mean by ''compliments her in one breath and then crushes her the next.'' What has the coach done to 'crush' her?

Also, as for the girl who can't hold a candle to your daughter ... I'd wait until the team is picked before worrying about that.

My daughter is currently battling for a position and spot in the lineup/batting order for her middle school team. She's new to the team. I've seen some of her competition in travel ball. I have a good opinion of where my daughter stacks up. I'll probably second guess how the coach does it. However, I choose to look at it this way - It doesn't matter how good my daughter has been in the past, or how good I 'think' she's been. She needs to bring it right now. If she can't convince the coach in 3 weeks that she's a better hitter than the girl who hits 5 spots below her in travel ball, then that's her problem, not the coach's. It's her team. It's her coach's team. It's not mine. My job is to encourage, not to tell her that it's politics, or that the coach is inept, or that she's entitled to something because of her resume. Not saying that you are doing otherwise. Just offering how I try to look at school ball.

 

[Osric]

If it is head games, its working. She is so stressed out about it(and so are her parents)

STOP STOP STOP!!!!!

If you are getting stressed out, then your kid picks up on it! Anyone who gets their teenage kid worked up about this is HURTING THEIR KID!!!!

Part of what sucks here IS "how it is being handled". And YOU are causing a large part of it. I'm sorry if this comes off as rude, but as a coach (even if I'm not at the HS level) this is one thing that drives me absolutely nuts. You are teaching your daughter that it is more important that she gets her way than accepting that the COACH is the one that makes decisions. You are teaching her to that her beliefs are more important than that of the coach. Even if she makes the team now, she will have learned that if she stresses herself out enough, then she'll get her way. She is now in a no-win situation. Either she gets cut and is devastated by that (even though she is not really old enough to play on the HS team), and if she makes it, the lesson she will take away is that she has to stress herself into unhappiness in order to succeed.

STOP IT! Let her know that if she doesn't make it it isn't the end of the world and she gets to play another year where she is the best person on the team with her TB or rec team. If she makes it, praise her abilities and stress that IT WASN'T WORTH GETTING STRESSED OUT ABOUT ANYWAYS!

 

[townhound]

I have kept my talks with my dd positive. Have not voiced my opinion about any of this to her. Everything I have said to her was a positive influence. I keep telling her to do her best, hustle, and be respectful. If you make it, thats great, if you dont, its not the end of the world. I also coach, and I also have handled cuts. I have never told a girl she was on the bubble.

 

[rdbass]

What I tell my DD is "you can not control what the coach does or decides. You can only control what you do". '' Don't worry about the things that are beyond your control". Do your best. I can not see what the coach sees in my DD or another player. Have a plan B if plan A fails.