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First showcase

Dec 11, 2010
2,960
113
Any coach that thinks they can bully parents into thinking they don't matter won't last very long.
I have not seen this happen. I’m sure there are examples of it but it didn’t happen with either of my daughters or any of the Juco-D1 players I have seen recruited.
Mom and Dad write the checks for that portion of school that isn't covered by scholly so the coach better be listening to what the parents say, and yes I mean early on, or like you say they won't get very far with kids and will end up with a roster of walk-ons.
OP posted about first showcase. In most cases the coaches can’t even talk to players or parents at the first showcase they attend. Y’know, September 1 of junior year and all.
Yes brother, YES! If the coach doesn't want to talk to me then the coach won't be blessed with my DD attending thier school. This one way street stuff is BS. My DD ain't recruiting no coach, the coach is recruiting my DD. If my DD is not good enough to be recruited and has to do all of the recruiting then so be it, she'll be just fine in life without having played softball for some prima donna softball coach who thinks they don't have to do some crootin'.
The reason people are saying it seems like a one way process is because the coaches can’t talk to players or parents or respond to emails is due to NCAA rules.
The idea or belief that the coach is some unapproachable God is bullshit. If a coach was interested in my DD then he going to have to talk to me too. She is my DD. There is no magic birthday in which she is no longer my DD. I would much rather have my DD go to a school where I could say "people I trust my DD's life with" than A P5 school with a berating, tyrannical, old school jerk coach.
If a coach is interested in your daughter, they will want to talk to you. They will want to win the entire family over, player and parents alike. You know you got the coaches recruiting face when dd says “Coach A is SO NICE!”

Again, parents and coaches who are familiar with the process will tell you there is a time and a place for that and it probably will not be the first showcase UNLESS the college coach CAN do it without violating NCAA rules. He or she will likely make that request through the players current head coach. Your hc will come over and say “Coach A wants to talk to you. I’ll introduce you.“ But the best place to have conversations is probably going to be camps and visits.

My advice, and the good advice by other posters was for some general guidelines for attending their first showcase. That advice is best delivered forcefully. Some people just don’t realize what is expected of them and they can get their daughter eliminated from consideration, and believe me if you get eliminated by one, the college coaches talk to each other and you the parent might get your dd wo is a great player and student blackballed. Remember most players go to college within a few hours from home and all of those coaches likely know each other well.

Guys (gals?), I also think that people think that getting recruited means showing up at an exposure and fight off all the coaches that are falling all over the awesomeness of your dd. It just doesn’t seem to happen that way much. Never say never but I’ve coached some really nice players who found good homes but it usually wasn’t a coach acting all gaga over the player.

Im just saying cast a wide net and have reasonable expectations. And don’t be a goof that gets your kid eliminated from consideration.

Good luck to all. It’s a heck of a ride.
 
Last edited:
Mar 28, 2014
773
93
I have not seen this happen. I’m sure there are examples of it but it didn’t happen with either of my daughters or any of the Juco-D1 players I have seen recruited.

OP posted about first showcase. In most cases the coaches can’t even talk to players or parents at the first showcase they attend. Y’know, September 1 of junior year and all.

The reason people are saying it seems like a one way process is because the coaches can’t talk to players or parents or respond to emails is due to NCAA rules.

If a coach is interested in your daughter, they will want to talk to you. They will want to win the entire family over, player and parents alike. You know you got the coaches recruiting face when dd says “Coach A is SO NICE!”

Again, parents and coaches who are familiar with the process will tell you there is a time and a place for that and it probably will not be the first showcase UNLESS the college coach CAN do it without violating NCAA rules. He or she will likely make that request through the players current head coach. Your hc will come over and say “Coach A wants to talk to you. I’ll introduce you.“ But the best place to have conversations is probably going to be camps and visits.

My advice, and the good advice by other posters was for some general guidelines for attending their first showcase. That advice is best delivered forcefully. Some people just don’t realize what is expected of them and they can get their daughter eliminated from consideration, and believe me if you get eliminated by one, the college coaches talk to each other and you the parent might get your dd wo is a great player and student blackballed. Remember most players go to college within a few hours from home and all of those coaches likely know each other well.

Guys (gals?), I also think that people think that getting recruited means showing up at an exposure and fight off all the coaches that are falling all over the awesomeness of your dd. It just doesn’t seem to happen that way much. Never say never but I’ve coached some really nice players who found good homes but it usually wasn’t a coach acting all gaga over the player.

Im just saying cast a wide net and have reasonable expectations. And don’t be a goof that gets your kid eliminated from consideration.

Good luck to all. It’s a heck of a ride.
Good post West. (y)
 

RADcatcher

Possibilities & Opportunities!
Dec 13, 2019
2,316
113
California
Try to say this nicely :)
Coaches arent recruiting the parents.
They are recruiting a young adult about to leave the nest and take on 2 big ass commitments, school schedule and athletic schedule.
Coach is trying to asses everything they can about the players ability to possibly be considered a spot.
The player needs to be able to communicate.
That said,
HAVE NEVER HEARD A COACH
include themselves in organizing a families finances to figure out debt.

This $ conversation part usually can include a parent.
However that is with a financial/academic administrator going over confirming scholarship $'s.
 
Last edited:
Jul 27, 2015
160
43
Coaches don’t randomly wander around the complex watching softball. They make a schedule of who they want to watch. They are crazy busy. It is a hard job I would not want. Put yourself in their position and try to understand it.
Really good points. I see so many "what are you doing" moments with the girls and their parents at games.

A few points that I might disagree a bit

Sometimes coaches set up to watch teams plays too if they know two good teams are playing. So if your child is on that type of team, they can benefit from just being on the field. This has happened a lot on our team and has resulted in various girls eventually getting offers.

My daughter was discovered by a D1 school whose assistant coach was just randomly walking around the Atlanta Legacy tournament last fall. That turned into her best financial offer. I would not ever count on that happening for anyone else, but it can happen.
 
Dec 11, 2010
2,960
113
WW, your posts are very well said and respected. Keep it up! Everyone needs the info if they are serious about the next level.
Thanks man, I appreciate it.
@gator5 I agree and it absolutely does happen! It was that way for my younger dd to a point. The guy that I coached with that I feel does a great job getting kids and parents doing the right things also said “most recruiting is an accident”. He would never say that to parents though- he wanted to make sure they were doing all the stuff that put them in a good position for the accident to happen.
 

PDM

Jun 18, 2019
32
18
NJ
If a coach witnesses a parent carrying any equipment "that equipment" is impounded by the coach for the weekend. You're not playing!

Water better be sent with player or share with teammates. No eating in the dugout.

Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk
Why would anyone care whether a parent helps carry equipment to the car? Any coach who worries about that is an idiot. Sorry to be so blunt, and I am sure a lot of people will disagree, but they will be wrong. Are we worried about players performing on the field or are they supposed to be part of a cult? There is one thing that matters, and one thing only (after the players having fun) and that is putting them in the best position to be successful on the field. Does carrying ones own bag make that more or less likely? It certainly doesn't make it more likely, so who cares? And to take away playing time for this grievous offense? It's insane!!! And I make the same argument about water and food. Does making sure that the player has enough water, and actually drinks it before it is needed, help the player or hurt her? It certainly helps. Does eating in the dugout hurt a player's performance? Probably not, so who cares??? These silly rules are all about coaches' egos and "showing who is boss". Of course no one wants parents hovering over their players all the time because that does hurt their development, but no one should ever care about all of that other stuff.
 
Jul 22, 2015
422
63
Why would anyone care whether a parent helps carry equipment to the car? Any coach who worries about that is an idiot. Sorry to be so blunt, and I am sure a lot of people will disagree, but they will be wrong. Are we worried about players performing on the field or are they supposed to be part of a cult? There is one thing that matters, and one thing only (after the players having fun) and that is putting them in the best position to be successful on the field. Does carrying ones own bag make that more or less likely? It certainly doesn't make it more likely, so who cares? And to take away playing time for this grievous offense? It's insane!!! And I make the same argument about water and food. Does making sure that the player has enough water, and actually drinks it before it is needed, help the player or hurt her? It certainly helps. Does eating in the dugout hurt a player's performance? Probably not, so who cares??? These silly rules are all about coaches' egos and "showing who is boss". Of course no one wants parents hovering over their players all the time because that does hurt their development, but no one should ever care about all of that other stuff.
I'm not saying you're wrong, but I guess you have to determine if you want to be "right" or operate within the system that exists. Should all or any of those things matter much? Probably not, but to some coaches they do. I've been told directly by some coaches that they look for this type of thing. Should they? Maybe not, but I don't think that really matters when they hold the checkbook. But, everybody gets to decide how they want to handle it. I would just hate to see something as silly as this turn a coach away from a kid when it is so easy to control.
 
Dec 2, 2013
1,474
113
Texas
Why would anyone care whether a parent helps carry equipment to the car? (Because it's a bad look.) Any coach who worries about that is an idiot. Sorry to be so blunt, and I am sure a lot (Almost ALL)of people will disagree, but they will be wrong(nope). Are we worried about players performing on the field or are they supposed to be part of a cult? (This is not just Softball-it's all HS aged Sports)There is one thing that matters, and one thing only (after the players having fun) and that is putting them in the best position to be successful on the field. Does carrying ones own bag make that more or less likely? It certainly doesn't make it more likely, so who cares? And to take away playing time for this grievous offense? It's insane!!! And I make the same argument about water and food. Does making sure that the player has enough water, and actually drinks it before it is needed, help the player or hurt her?(All players should have their own filled water jug) It certainly helps. Does eating in the dugout hurt a player's performance?(Why does the player need to be eating in the dugout?--mabye 3 back to back games) Probably not, so who cares??? These silly rules are all about coaches' egos and "showing who is boss". (Not really, it shows player's proper planning and responsibility)Of course no one wants parents(you mean dugout monkeys?) hovering over their players all the time because that does hurt their development, but no one should ever care about all of that other stuff. (We want to raise empowered strong young ladies with self responsibility)
Why would you need to carry your kid's bag? Seriously, why? Unless they are injured. Players at 14U and above should be responsible for carrying their own gear AND the TEAM gear (ball buckets, bownets, tees, etc). Who do you think does it on a college team? Why does a player need a gatorade from mom during the middle of game? You simply place a small cooler right outside of the dugout full of water, gatorade, grapes, etc. If your kid does not have enough water and nourishment, who's fault is that? These things should be on your game day check list before you leave the house or at least before you get to the field.
 

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