The dad probably was picked last in PE.
Father, I name thee “Sir Hector”
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From what I see of the young lady, I would bet the dad will continue to drain the fun from the game for his DD and she will find a way to quit: either by sinking in performance or refusing to play at some point.
He's not a bad guy and he really does love his daughters, but clearly he's pretty driven. He also has a DD that is 15 that is doing very well.
I don't know him well enough to say what needs to be said to him. Since we are relatively new to the team, I don't have any confidence he could receive that kind of message from me. He has known the coach for a longer time. I'll see what kind of traction I can get from there.
He thinks it is in her best interst to be a better player and he doesn't understand why she hasn't made the leap to that level yet. I am certain he doesn't understand that his behavior, especially getting mad at strikeouts, is preventing his DD from making substantitive improvements. She would have to fight through the draining emotions of her dad's disgust and disappointment, to get to a mental place where she could make some understand what to do and make meaningful changes in her swing. Apart from dropping her hands, there a lot to like in her swing and athleticism in general.
Unfortunately, I see a lot of myself in this guy and it's not pretty. I have heard several folks say they are recovering crazy daddies. I can relate. I am taking a much more positive approach with my DD. Before I was much too direct and unrelenting in my approach. I wasn't making it fun. For some time I have had a haunting thought that what if I create a great softball player and lose a daughter. That's frightening. I don't always hold the positive line even now, but I am constantly on the lookout for how my DD is receiving my message and I am trying to adjust my "help" accordingly.
The HC can easily implement a policy my DD has played under during 12U and really enjoys to this day. "Once you drop your DD off, they are mine. There will be no coaching from the bleachers, no visits to the dugout. You have entrusted my to coach your dd and I will coach them to the best of my ability. No bringing snacks, there is no food in the dugout. No bringing water, I will provide water and Gatorade for her to drink. If you prefer to coach from the bleachers, you may take your dd elsewhere."
It also made it a lot nicer on the parents to be able to just enjoy the game and cheer.
It also made it a lot nicer on the parents to be able to just enjoy the game and cheer.
I think that the HC needs to step up and establish/emphasize the "players are mine to criticize, teach, etc 1 hour before game and 1 hour after the game...under no circumstances should the parent be near the dugout or even trying to communicate iwth daughter UNLESS THERE IS AN EMERGENCY". Period. Nothing more/nothing less.
I can only imagine where this girl's self esteem and confidence levels are at...ESPECIALLY since she's got an older sister who is excelling in the sport! The dad REALLY needs to step back and let the girl work her own issues out and give her time to shine. With all that he is doing to her prior to her at-bat, all he's doing is coughing soot on her and hurting her chances to shine.
Sigh. As you can tell, this makes me mad.
And yes, I used to be that parent (but not that bad...)...now all I do is play chauffeur, banker and cheerleader.
Hey now, I resemble that remark......and I'm out in RF now, just like I was then.
We have identical rules on both my DD's teams and we haven't had a problem with a nutty parent in years.
Parent contracts. I made each parent sign at the begining of the season. No parent is allowed in or near the dugout.
If the same rule applied to the HC and ACs life would be good.
I too was that dad to my DS. I like to think not nearly as bad. Untill My DS's young coach (18yr old) said "Mrs.xxxxx you got to give your DS a break" and other eye opening things. From that game on I and the wife sit in the outfield. Be that parent/coach and put a stop to this. Save that girl.
