daddyball issues as an assistant coach

[grcsftbll]

Even in 8U travel outfield was semi important. Not as much as later but on our 8U travel team it was mostly our outfield that killed us. If the ball got past the infield, we were toast, period. Well, actually our left fielder was pretty good by the end of the year but you get what I'm saying. We've only done 10U since October but outfield definitely gets action in most of the tournaments we've played. My dd plays mostly left field on her 12u baseball team so I showed her a video I found of the best baseball plays of the year, and it was 90% outfield plays. Once the kids start really hitting you need athletic girls out there or else it's runs, runs, runs.

 

[Fastpitch_Dad]

So you have a team where half of the players are lower level players and you have an issue with the coaches DD batting 5th and playing 1st base? As long as the HC is only giving her priority over kids of equal talent then it is reasonable to expect him to do so, and probably part of the reason why he is coaching his daughters team. The team has 5 weak players so there are going to be problems and few solutions.

My guess is that this is more about your (and others) perception of the coaches DD (attitude?) that has you fired up more than the actual softball decisions and it is frustrating for sure.

Whether on purpose or not, for the most part the teams in youth sports will typically play at the same level of ability as the coaches kids. So embrace where you are as a coach/parent/DD and understand where he is as a coach/parent/DD and decide if you can live together on the same team because it is not going to change (or need to) and there is no way to fix it.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Even in 8U travel outfield was semi important. Not as much as later but on our 8U travel team it was mostly our outfield that killed us.

A few years back while running a small rec league, our 8U all-star team decided to play a couple of 8U travel tournaments. By the end, the best fielders, originally placed in the infield, were moved to the outfield, and vice-versa. It was coach pitch, and there was no way to stop some of these really good teams from hitting the ball into the grass.

 

[GiasDad]

So you have a team where half of the players are lower level players and you have an issue with the coaches DD batting 5th and playing 1st base? As long as the HC is only giving her priority over kids of equal talent then it is reasonable to expect him to do so, and probably part of the reason why he is coaching his daughters team. The team has 5 weak players so there are going to be problems and few solutions.

My guess is that this is more about your (and others) perception of the coaches DD (attitude?) that has you fired up more than the actual softball decisions and it is frustrating for sure.

Whether on purpose or not, for the most part the teams in youth sports will typically play at the same level of ability as the coaches kids. So embrace where you are as a coach/parent/DD and understand where he is as a coach/parent/DD and decide if you can live together on the same team because it is not going to change (or need to) and there is no way to fix it.

100% correct, with the level of talent, we are going to have holes no matter what. And I am not diminishing the outfield in any way. The problem is he is not giving her priority over girls of equal talent. He is giving her priority over a girl who is better and significantly better, IMO. We have 5 girls who, if I was to hit a pop up, I'd say less than 50% of the time they will catch it. Maybe. When our managers dd plays first she has told our shortstop to not throw it so hard.

Lastly, you're right, I am frustrated and venting here!!!!

 

[mudrunner]

That's a tough situation and hard to get away from with so many select teams with dads as the coach. DD is on a team this year that has a college player as the HC and it's been great so far. You earn your spots and playing time so I like it much better. I was an AC for her team last year, and seemed to almost go too far the other way so that the parents didn't think I was favoring her.

 

[BLINDSIDE]

I feel your pain. Our HC's DD has not practiced in full for the past 6 weeks due various alleged injuries. Yet she's pitched and batted in all 3 tournaments during the same time frame. Parents are starting to grumble and the other players are getting frustrated with it as well. Us ACs have tried to push his DD to go full speed at practice but she just plays the sore card and she's back sitting on the bucket. We've tried to let the HC know she needs to practice in order to play but it's in one ear and out the other.

 

[Coachmike34]

If you want to present a case to him "with the hope that he is understanding and open minded of course" then a "NICE" way to do it would be to present him with legitimate stats that show how she is performing. "example" You say that she shouldn't be batting in the 5 spot? Then show him the stats of the 6,7,8 hitters. Are they far better than her? When she's at 1st base does make a lot of errors versus another player at that position? It's never an easy situation to deal with. But after 25 years of coaching travel ball both baseball and now softball. I've seen more teams break up because of nepotism "daddyball" than succeed. Especially at the 12U and 14U levels. The separation of skills and talent start to really show between the players around that age, and unfortunately most parents can't comprehend it. Leading to hurt feelings and such.

 

[The Maj]

I am dealing with the daddy ball thing on DS's travel ball team this year but luckily, I am merely a spectator when I can make the games (basically when DD#2 is not playing)... He insists on playing his kid at 2B (he probably should really choose another sport) and batting him in the 5 spot... When he hits the ball it is usually a solid hit but 3 tournaments in the kid is batting a whopping .172 and has more K's than the rest of the team combined (I know this because dear wife keeps the book using iScore) - basically he is putting the ball in play less than 2 out of 10 times and the rest are going to be K's... He also has a kid batting in the 8 slot that has the highest OBP% on the team - 75+%...

At 2B the kid doesn't pay attention, averages 3 errors per game and naturally he pitches so that is an added dimension that is also a comedy of errors...

I have seen the frustration with the ACs and the parents are mumbling in the stands this early in the season so it does not bode well for the team... Knowing the head of the organization, I doubt this HC will be coaching in the organization next season if he doesn't wake up and realize what he is doing - otherwise the team will be lost... We have already been approached by another team and I imagine others have as well...

Said all that to say, daddy ball usually has a way of working itself out when it comes to TB... As an AC, I would make my opinion known and then leave it to the HC to make the decision... Talking to a HC about their kid is always a tough thing to do as an AC but if you can manage to do it the right way, with the right information a reasonable HC will eventually listen... Don't expect it to be easy though and you can expect some friction...

 

[mwh1979]

If there is a clearly better option for 1st base that he's passing over then I'd bring it up to him. Maybe he makes the ultimate decisions but there's nothing wrong with you saying something. He's the head coach of a softball team for crying out loud, not an Army platoon leader. It's definitely not out of line, just make sure the kids aren't nearby. Things like this can cost teams good players and IMO should always be addressed. If he doesn't have the guts to stand up to his own daughter then maybe he's not the best choice to lead this team of young ladies.

 

[Carsonsig]

If your daughter is learning and having fun... ? It is basically your frustration that HC is a knob. If DD is getting hosed, and hates the team... then bounce, and find something more positive for her. Remember... it isnt about us. It's about her. what are her goals? What does SHE want to do...? At that age... you should be able to have a legit conversation with her about it... and see whats in her head.