daddyball issues as an assistant coach

[coach james]

Very good point and I had an idea coming in what he was like, but I guess I assumed there is no way he sees this girl as anything other than a LF.

I never said I was quitting, I simply asked for ways to handle it. Are you implying that quitting is my only option? His decision DOES NOT affect my dd unless she makes a throw to first and his daughter drops it, which I do not think is a bad thing for my dd to get used to dealing with, so I do not think quitting is even an option simply because we started, we will finish.

I'm glad to hear you're planning to stay. Daddyball coaches are everywhere. We can choose to accept it by finding ways to adapt and overcome, or we can leave.... I'd suggest being candid and open with him, privately of course. Most coaches like to hear constructive input. Give details of what girl really excelled at what at the last practice or game. (stay positive) I'd also recommend studying high level mechanics of hitting, pitching, catching, and fielding. Use this newly acquired information of skills to further strengthen the strong players and to build the lesser experienced girls. Keep practices focused on competition. Every drill is designed to perfect the mechanic and to challenge each other....the "lesser" girls will be forced to step up her game quickly.... You volunteered to assist him in coaching... I'm sure that shouldn't mean being a simple minion. Take some initiative, and build these kids up!

 

[GiasDad]

IMO an assistance coach is just that, an assistant. I too am an assistance coach, when the HC asks me for my opinion I will give it to him. Sometimes he takes my suggestions, sometimes he doesn't. My job is to support his decisions and lift the heavy things.

I guess what I am saying is if you really don't agree with what he is doing, then leave. Having an assistant coach that constantly bad mouths the HC, or shows disagreements doesn't do the team any favors. Or another option is keep putting her where you think with the depth chart, and if he changes it then go with his decision and work with the girl to get her better so she doesn't cost you games.

You can have the conversation, but typically when you tell the HC his DD sucks.... never turns out well.

Thank you for your reply and I agree, the issue is she has no interest in getting better. She does not want to be there, Daddy wants her there.

 

[BobInMadison]

Thank you for your reply and I agree, the issue is she has no interest in getting better. She does not want to be there, Daddy wants her there.

I have never coached. Once someone suggested I be an AC, and my DD 3 threatened to quit the team. So I didn't even consider it.

This sounds like a really bad situation for the HC's DD. I've seen that situation before, and it can end very badly. Meaning, at some point it is possible it could damage any friendship you have with the HC, and seriously damage the HC's relationship with his DD.

So you have TWO problems, not one.

As for the one you asked about: what about suggesting to the HC that all the girls (except P and C, and even them when their not pitching or catching), try playing in unfamiliar positions, to get the experience and flexibility. Esp. try that out in friendlies and pool play. Make some comment like: "WOW! Your DD did an incredible job at LF/RF whereever. ! I thought she would be a good outfielder, but I didn't know she'd be THAT good. Really helps the team, the way she shines out there!"

A little Shinola may help.

As for the second issue, that is out of your hands. If there is anything you can do to make it more fun for that girl, it could make her enjoy the team more, and she might even play better.

 

[Il softball fan]

The coaches DD, what position does she want to play? Is coach sticking her at first because that is where she want to be? Maybe during practices you could ask coach's DD if she would like to try playing Center, or Left Field, or maybe second. See if she does any better trying something new.

Conversely during practice time, does he have any other girl work in at first? Have two or three girls rotate in and out of first and see if there is a stark difference in performance. Coach should be able to pick up that someone is just a better option at first.

 

[djcarter1966]

We have had 3 friendlies and played 6 games. ANd I agree with batting her 5th vs. 7th is no big deal , however it is the perception I guess.

If you have played six games trends should start to emerge. How many balls are dropped by 1B? If the answer is one or two then you probably can't complain too much, if its one or two per game that's a different story. How is her hitting compared to the rest of the team is she top, middle or bottom. Once you have games under your belt your suggestions as the AC can carry more weight if you back them up with statistics. Suzie is hitting .600 with an OBP of .800 maybe she should bat 1st instead of 7th or Jessica leads the team in RBIs maybe the 3 to 5 hole is better than 7 to 9 hole. Our SS has committed 3 errors per game maybe we could try someone else in that position.

 

[cvsoftball]

I don't believe this is your fight. It's on the parents. If they are willing to put up with it, then so be it. Do your job, help your girls get better, stay positive.

 

[jacman]

I've attended and held many tryouts over the years. I know who's who on those days and so did all the parents. If you weren't paying attention to who you were volunteering to coach, the responsibility falls back on you.
I've played and destroyed many "A" teams only to get whipped the next week from a "B" team..... A,b,c....whatever. People will classify themselves differently for many reasons. Sounds like your mind is already made up.....one questions? Is quitting for you, or your dd?

I'm in the same place with CJ on this (and I noticed your own reply to him). I've also been in the same place with you. I felt like a valued part of the coaching staff on DD's 12u team. A new player came in mid year (along with a new daddy AC), and almost immediately everything changed regarding game strategies, player positions, parent relations, and more. I'd had worked very well the HC for about a year, but now all of the sudden when I would approach the HC and new AC, they literally turned their backs on me and walked away....

But - Assistant is Assistant. While you're there, you're a company guy. You back him up, run his program, support him around other parents and players and all that. It's your job to give him any information or suggestions you feel you should, but let him know you acknowledge his boss-ness. For me the hardest part was facing parents who knew things were turning sour, and kept asking me if I agreed with what HC was doing. I just parroted what he was saying and hoped for the best. If your DD is having fun and growing as a player, stick with it for now and try not to let any frustrations flow into her "personal space."

When I was in this spot, it was my DD who eventually asked to change teams because "I'm not learning anything here." We finished what little season was left and moved on. I was proud of her, because she was the big dog on that team, but she wasn't satisfied with that and wanted more. We found a new team where she wasn't a big dog (but soon ran with them), and I didn't coach on that team. Turns out, all but 3 players left after that season. The new AC and his DD left not long after and started his own team, which tanked in less than a year. Strangely, he never asked DD to play for him.

If your HC is making the kind of decisions you describe, it probably won't too long before your DD is ready to look for something else. The players know when someone is getting special treatment from daddy, and it flavors the way they see other things the HC does. Even if he's a pretty decent guy overall, your DD will likely want to grow past that kind of coaching pretty soon. Just keep encouraging her to continually challenge herself, and make sure she has a chance to love playing.

 

[GiasDad]

The coaches DD, what position does she want to play? Is coach sticking her at first because that is where she want to be? Maybe during practices you could ask coach's DD if she would like to try playing Center, or Left Field, or maybe second. See if she does any better trying something new.

Conversely during practice time, does he have any other girl work in at first? Have two or three girls rotate in and out of first and see if there is a stark difference in performance. Coach should be able to pick up that someone is just a better option at first.

Yes, coach is putting her there because that is where she wants to play. I even suggested trying her at second base and her response to her Father was, "Why should I do something that I do not want to do just because no one else on my team can?" He told me this was her response.

 

[GiasDad]

It's SOOOOOOOO difficult to coach through parent colored glasses. Sounds like this guy is wearing the double strength pair.

I think we all have them to a certain extent right?

 

[Little Angels Softball]

First, a general observation:

If the girl truly cannot catch, putting her in LF is crazy. Decent 12U travel ball players can hit the snot out of the ball and the last thing you want is an outfielder who can't catch. Normally, people with experience get over the whole infield/outfield thing shortly after leaving 10U. If you're looking to be competitive, putting a girl who "sucks" in the outfield at 12U is a really bad idea. When I coach 12U, you can pretty much bank on the fact that my best athletes will be outfielders. Gazelles, Cheetahs, Jackrabbits and Whippets.

Now, a few questions about the situation:

1. How many girls work at 1B during practice?

2. What is the fielding % of the girl in question?

3. What is the fielding % of all the other starting infielders?

NOTE: If you're using GameChanger, you need to make sure it is calculating fielding % accurately. I do not deal with it but there is a setting that needs to be enabled before the software will calculate every throw a 1B receives as an attempt (which is the correct way of doing it). If it is not enabled, it will only record these if an error is charged and will not record the times she makes the play. To check this, your 1B should have more attempts (by far) than anyone else on the team with the possible exception of the starting catcher, who gets credit for a PO on every strikeout recorded by your pitchers.

4. What are the pertinent hitting stats of the girl in question? What is the team average for these stats? How many are clearly outhitting her? How many is she clearly outhitting?

NOTE: You really haven't played enough for these to be 100% reliable but knowing the info is helpful. Plus, even with this information in hand, I cannot possibly know against what type of competition these stats were amassed .... so, no way for me to tell if the .600 hitter in the scorebook is really a .200 hitter and vice versa.

5. How tall is the girl in comparison to the other girls on the team?