Confusing Situation With Senior Daughter Not Getting Playing Time On HS Team

[Sandrahd]

My DD has played a little bit in LF and CF when she has been in. Same for the AD’s daughter but primarily CF. My daughter primarily played CF last year like I said in my OP and earned all district 1st team honors. The AD’s daughter primarily played LF last year when she was in, earning 2nd team honors. The other two outfielders are also returning letterman (LF, RF) and there is junior and freshman. I have nothing against the AD’s daughter but she just happens to be the one playing the same positions as my DD. When she was a freshman she played 2B and took time away from a senior which caused a similar type of problem like this one. The strange thing to me or the thing that is unknown to me is that my DD earned her spot on varsity as a freshman with a good showing in tryouts and practice. When they went to take the team picture 2-3 weeks later she said the AD’s daughter, who was still in basketball at the time, showed up in uniform and stood in the pictures with the varsity team. You can imagine what kind of ripple effect this had on the girls who worked at it and then this girl comes out of nowhere, no practice or anything, and takes a picture with them. I’m naive at this so I just really want to know how that is right? The next year the AD’s moved to the OF I believe or spent time arbor both. I’m really being honest hear when I say my DD is certainly the best outfielder on the team and the stats and observations by others prove that. If it were different I would say it. What I’ve been trying to say is that the HC has chosen to exclude my DD for some reason that she doesn’t deserve.

I don’t have much to add to what has already been said, but I do have a comment about the AD’s daughter playing basketball and volleyball. I don’t know how large her school is, but my DD goes to a small school. The pool of female athletes isn’t huge, so there is definitely some overlap between sports. My DD plays softball (fall), basketball (winter), and soccer and track (spring). The basketball team made a run in the playoffs, so the soccer players who also play basketball missed the first few weeks of practice. It is an accepted reality that this kind of thing doesn’t hurt playing time.

I’m speaking specifically about other official school team sports. DD also ran XC in the fall and the team sport always takes precedence. On the other hand, I am of the opinion that missing school practice due to travel ball (or even play practice—yes, there was a girl who missed regularly for a non-school play) could and probably should have an effect.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[TamiAz]

I feel your pain.. Our daughter's situation is very similar. She injured her ankle on the last game of club before high school season started. She's cleared and still not being given the opportunity to play. She is committed and will be playing college ball next year, so we're a bit perplexed. This team is not stacked and her skills are the same and better than some. She plays two positions well and is not being given an opportunity to play either one. She's working at home and school with her pitching, so she's ready IF she gets called in. We have coached her and told her to talk to the coach herself and get it worked out. He has has told her the starting lineup is locked for the season, so she's out of luck and to work harder. We have left her to deal with this on her own and it has gone nowhere, so she's stuck sitting on the bench her senior year. As her parents we have decided to say something and become vocal about the issue. Will it change anything? Probably not, but we feel the blatant favoritism (#1 pitcher's mom works at the school) and politics needs to be called out. It's not just her playing, but how the coach is talking about our daughter to other parents and parents knowing things they have no business knowing. Other players have transferred schools due to the same reasons, so it's not just us. Quitting is not an option for her and she is being the best leader she can in the dugout, which makes us proud. Other parents know our daughter's skills and are questioning why she isn't playing. We keep our mouths shut and shrug our shoulders.

 

[Holy Toledo!]

I feel your pain.. Our daughter's situation is very similar. She injured her ankle on the last game of club before high school season started. She's cleared and still not being given the opportunity to play. She is committed and will be playing college ball next year, so we're a bit perplexed. This team is not stacked and her skills are the same and better than some. She plays two positions well and is not being given an opportunity to play either one. She's working at home and school with her pitching, so she's ready IF she gets called in. We have coached her and told her to talk to the coach herself and get it worked out. He has has told her the starting lineup is locked for the season, so she's out of luck and to work harder. We have left her to deal with this on her own and it has gone nowhere, so she's stuck sitting on the bench her senior year. As her parents we have decided to say something and become vocal about the issue. Will it change anything? Probably not, but we feel the blatant favoritism (#1 pitcher's mom works at the school) and politics needs to be called out. It's not just her playing, but how the coach is talking about our daughter to other parents and parents knowing things they have no business knowing. Other players have transferred schools due to the same reasons, so it's not just us. Quitting is not an option for her and she is being the best leader she can in the dugout, which makes us proud. Other parents know our daughter's skills and are questioning why she isn't playing. We keep our mouths shut and shrug our shoulders.

We could possibly be related through softball based on your situation. It’s unreal how similar it sounds. Someone did mention on here that because of the I jury that maybe they didn’t want to invest time in a senior. I disagree with that. The hard work my DD put in to get healthy and past contribution should account for something, especially with a new HC. I think of the HC is truly committed to players and program, then he or she should consider it. In our situation it just appears that she doesn’t care about my DD based on situations that have occurred. I too think sometimes about calling out the politics we are possibly experiencing, particularly with the actions of the AD.

 

[Holy Toledo!]

I don’t have much to add to what has already been said, but I do have a comment about the AD’s daughter playing basketball and volleyball. I don’t know how large her school is, but my DD goes to a small school. The pool of female athletes isn’t huge, so there is definitely some overlap between sports. My DD plays softball (fall), basketball (winter), and soccer and track (spring). The basketball team made a run in the playoffs, so the soccer players who also play basketball missed the first few weeks of practice. It is an accepted reality that this kind of thing doesn’t hurt playing time.

I’m speaking specifically about other official school team sports. DD also ran XC in the fall and the team sport always takes precedence. On the other hand, I am of the opinion that missing school practice due to travel ball (or even play practice—yes, there was a girl who missed regularly for a non-school play) could and probably should have an effect.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I know what you are saying as I have see that it smaller schools. We are not that small and one to three players coming in from another sport doesn’t make that much difference from what I’ve seen here. It just doesn’t make sense to me. How can a player just jump into the other sport time after time unless you are someone like Bo Jackson and going places and that’s not the case here. There are truly some underlying issues.

 

[Holy Toledo!]

I don’t have much to add to what has already been said, but I do have a comment about the AD’s daughter playing basketball and volleyball. I don’t know how large her school is, but my DD goes to a small school. The pool of female athletes isn’t huge, so there is definitely some overlap between sports. My DD plays softball (fall), basketball (winter), and soccer and track (spring). The basketball team made a run in the playoffs, so the soccer players who also play basketball missed the first few weeks of practice. It is an accepted reality that this kind of thing doesn’t hurt playing time.

I’m speaking specifically about other official school team sports. DD also ran XC in the fall and the team sport always takes precedence. On the other hand, I am of the opinion that missing school practice due to travel ball (or even play practice—yes, there was a girl who missed regularly for a non-school play) could and probably should have an effect.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I know what you are saying as I have see that it smaller schools. We are not that small and one to three players coming in from another sport doesn’t make that much difference from what I’ve seen here. It just doesn’t make sense to me. How can a player just jump into the other sport time after time unless you are someone like Bo Jackson and going places and that’s not the case here. There are truly some underlying issues.

 

[Rocketech1]

It always amuses me when someone says "Coaches don't like to talk to parents" or "coaches....(fill in the blanks)." You guys try to elevate these coaches to some kind of mythical beings. They are humans and not all coaches share the same feelings. If this coach did not like the parent talking for his child, the coach should have said something then and not punish the kid for what the parent did. Till my child turns 18, I am responsible for my child so I am going to be involved in her activities.

I am all for teaching the child the responsibility and in this particular situation and if that is what this coach is trying to do, let the parent know and not screw the kid over during her senior year. Coaches are not robots who can only make either or decisions.

My DD is a 15yo sophomore on varsity and I as a parent would NEVER say anything about playing time to the head coach. High school kids need to learn how to handle certain situations and be an advocate for themselves in an adult world. Playing time and what player is better than another player is very subjective and the HC has every right to play whomever they want even if it looks like favoritism. Unfortunately your DD got injured and another player got her opportunity and has made the most of it. My advice would be work hard and have a good attitude to support the TEAM.

 

[Cyder517]

It always amuses me when someone says "Coaches don't like to talk to parents" or "coaches....(fill in the blanks)."

Coaches are not robots who can only make either or decisions.

Not an amusing situation when you have a concern regarding your DD. Even in travel ball, when she was younger, most coaches had a “24 hour rule”. You could not question or speak to a coach before or after a game or practice and it had to be at least 24 hours after the incident....which in the heat of the season....is a very small window.

Now in HS and even in MS to some degree, not only coaches, but teachers as well want to communicate with the students directly, with little to no communication with parents. There are always exceptions to the rule, but this seems to be the norm for most.

I try my best to go with the flow as far as playing time, lineup/position changes. I do think my DD needs to talk to her coaches about that. What I find frustrating is when parents aren’t given schedule information directly. DD does not drive, so I have to be responsible for getting her from A to B, and she might not know of conflicts that exist with the family schedule.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[TamiAz]

My DD is a 15yo sophomore on varsity and I as a parent would NEVER say anything about playing time to the head coach. High school kids need to learn how to handle certain situations and be an advocate for themselves in an adult world. Playing time and what player is better than another player is very subjective and the HC has every right to play whomever they want even if it looks like favoritism. Unfortunately your DD got injured and another player got her opportunity and has made the most of it. My advice would be work hard and have a good attitude to support the TEAM.

You would be ok with a coach blowing your daughter off and not giving her specific feedback on what she can work on? What if the coach told your daughter the starting lineup is set and there's nothing that she can do and she's SOL. Coaches aren't gods and can do shitty things.. As parents, you don't think something should be said? Until your kid is the one being treated like shirt, you don't know what you would do. My daughter has gone to her coach time after time to ask what she can do to get playing time and all he ever says is works harder... Bullshit! I believe that kids should advocate for themselves, but there comes a time when a parent needs to step in and say something. I would do the same thing if this was a teacher.

 

[Cannonball]

You would be ok with a coach blowing your daughter off and not giving her specific feedback on what she can work on? What if the coach told your daughter the starting lineup is set and there's nothing that she can do and she's SOL. Coaches aren't gods and can do shitty things.. As parents, you don't think something should be said? Until your kid is the one being treated like shirt, you don't know what you would do. My daughter has gone to her coach time after time to ask what she can do to get playing time and all he ever says is works harder... Bullshit! I believe that kids should advocate for themselves, but there comes a time when a parent needs to step in and say something. I would do the same thing if this was a teacher.

Rocketeck never said anything close to your response. Instead, he stated that he expects his dd to advocate for herself. I can't speak for your situation but, to be honest and in my opinion, a parent doesn't help their child's situation by stepping in. As per myself, I will have that discussion with the parent in the Athletic Director's office. From there, if I now play that parent's child, it will give the green light to every other malcontent parent. So, the parent has made the situation worse for the player. Per the player, at times, the best advice that can be given is work harder. There are 9 starting spots and sometimes 10 depending upon how the coach wants to play it. So, the best play and often the rest complain. It is that simple.

 

[Doug Romrell]

So, the best play and often the rest complain. It is that simple.

That may be the case in your program, as you appear to be the exception here, but it isn't necessarily true across all situtions. Are there many malcontent parents out there? Oh yeah! Are there malicious coaches out there? You bet!