Confusing Situation With Senior Daughter Not Getting Playing Time On HS Team

[Holy Toledo!]

I was referring to his comment that he would NEVER talk to a coach about his daughter's playing time..I was wondering if he would stay silent in those situations..That's all.

I don't agree with the "the best play and and often the rest complain". We have taught our daughter to work hard and compete for playing time and talk wither her coach. We don't expect her to be on the starting lineup. She is doing everything she is supposed to and, yet, nothing has changed. This is a kid who has played since she was 6 and has played every season since on very competitive teams throughout her softball career. She worked hard enough to get a scholarship to pitch in college and now she's not good enough to play on a high school team? When the team is up 10 -15 runs why not let other girls play?? He's not even allowing the girls that opportunity. How is that right? It's hight school ball for goodness sake.. If a kid goes to a coach to ask what she can do to improve to get playing time, the coach should give her specific feedback on what she's doing and how she can improve. Work harder is a cop out and tells me the coach doesn't have a clue. Be a coach and coach her. Communicate with her. Why is that so difficult? Why shouldn't that be expected of a coach? This is the first time she has ever had an issue with playing time and the team isn't stacked. I'm just trying to figure out the reasoning for a grown man to treat young girls this way...And it's not just my daughter.

We don't think things will change at this point and my daughter has accepted the fact she won't pitch or play third and will sit during her senior year, which sucks. She will continue to work hard and be the best teammate she can. A kid's playing time should be a result of her hard work and effort, not because her parents approached a coach.

I think what is happening in our situation is that the HC either doesn't know how to communicate with the players or is refusing to. I agree that the "work harder" is definitely a cop out in most cases. My DD has done everything she can possibly do at this point, kept her chin up, worked hard in rehab, has been the ultimate teammate, didn't miss a game or practice just because of the injury even when there was scrimmage the day after the injury, has earned her playing time from previous seasons and has been recognized for it and the HC is just going to sit her makes no sense to me - it's not because I approached the coach. My DD is in the same category as she was going to get an opportunity to play college softball but now somehow she's not good enough to play on the HS team, with the same girls she's played with most of her softball life. She's not even getting the opportunity to regain her status as a starter.

 

[BT3100]

So, the best play and often the rest complain. It is that simple.

This is the mentality of most High School coaches. And their ability to assess talent is never to be questioned. Then they wonder why people have close to zero respect for them.

 

[CoachJD]

I'm curious to know about your second comment.

A couple quick things. First, we don't have an athletic trainer on staff at our school. So that element doesn't apply to me. Second, I say I "prefer to discuss with parents" meaning "I don't rely on the word of the child."

In most cases, they want to play so badly they say they're fine even if not. And this is for injuries that usually require missed time. If a player gets hit by a pitch and is hobbling I'll trust her to tell me if she's hurt or just feeling a little pain.

Here's an example: We had a girl break her finger on the first day of tryouts. I would get regular updates from the player (she was still able to come to practice, participate in conditioning-related portions, assist coaches in various ways, etc.), but earlier this week she told me she was cleared to play. I reached out to her mom to confirm, find out if there were any restrictions, ask about getting written clearance from a doctor, etc.

Of course, I've also had situations where a player will have, say, a sore arm going on a week or so. I'll talk to mom or dad and get a "She's fine. I told her to toughen up." Or, and if you knew this father you'd find this funnier than it will come across when I type it, you'll get "that sounds like her problem." In either case, it puts me in a tough spot where the player says she's in some pain but wants to play and the parents don't seem to be taking the pain seriously enough. I still monitor and do my best to protect them, but the way I see it, I had the conversation with the parent and was told to not hold her back.

 

[BT3100]

High School Sports = Watering plastic plants in the hope that they will grow.

 

[Cannonball]

This is the mentality of most High School coaches. And their ability to assess talent is never to be questioned. Then they wonder why people have close to zero respect for them.

And if I do a poor job of doing so, I will get fired. Everyone can be replaced as I will be after next year.

 

[Cannonball]

High School Sports = Watering plastic plants in the hope that they will grow.

So, you will be a parent and not have your dd play HS ball. Parents have to make tough decisions and so, apparently this will be an easy one for you.

 

[BT3100]

So, you will be a parent and not have your dd play HS ball. Parents have to make tough decisions and so, apparently this will be an easy one for you.

My DD made varsity as a freshman. Pitcher in the upper 50's low 60's. I am not worried about my kid. That said many kids get screwed by HS coaches for many reasons. Just because my kid is getting a fair shake doesn't mean I turn a blind eye to what goes on.

 

[Phandle]

There are 9 starting spots and sometimes 10 depending upon how the coach wants to play it. So, the best play and often the rest complain. It is that simple.

This is not the case in HS ball. You don't need to play your best 9 or 10 to win 90% of HS games. A coach can sit a stud pitcher for what ever reason and can still win games with a mediocre pitcher.

 

[BobInMadison]

...........................

 

[Cannonball]

This is not the case in HS ball. You don't need to play your best 9 or 10 to win 90% of HS games. A coach can sit a stud pitcher for what ever reason and can still win games with a mediocre pitcher.

Well, that is one opinion. I've coached it for a while and that isn't the case in my area. We play a schedule of schools where easily 1/3 are bigger than us. Most of them at least twice our size.