Confusing Situation With Senior Daughter Not Getting Playing Time On HS Team

[Hawkeyes]

How is the coach "punishing her"?

 

[Holy Toledo!]

With regards to quitting, I don't think that's the right answer either. I know that a lot of what we are trying to do here is use these sports to teach our DD's life lessons. HS softball is not like real life in that you can't quit and go play some where else. With a job you can quit and go get another one. With HS softball, you quit and you're not playing HS softball any where else.

Quitting reflects on you. I wouldn't want that to be reflected on my DD. I would want my DD to be the best teammate and cheer leader for her teammates. Some times life just doesn't go your way. I want my DD to be Brittany Rogers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6VhKtCkE20

Quitting is definitely not an option that she will pursue. She has learned the life lessons that sports can provide but this lesson seems to be the toughest, a life lesson for sure.

 

[Holy Toledo!]

How is the coach "punishing her"?

A wrong choice in words I suppose. It's not that she is being punished but how she is being treated. Whether she talked to the HC or if my DD did, the situation was not going to change one way or another.

 

[djcarter1966]

A wrong choice in words I suppose. It's not that she is being punished but how she is being treated. Whether she talked to the HC or if my DD did, the situation was not going to change one way or another.

Agreed I think you probably realize now you talking to HC was not going to help and probably going about it the wrong way (although probably didn't hurt either since it does sound like she is open to change).

I am encouraged that you both realize quitting is not an option so how about this.

My recommendation is your DD approach the HC and simply say "I know my dad talked to you and after thinking about it I realize that as a senior I should have just approached you myself with any questions. I've talked to my Dad and he has agreed that he won't discuss any on field issue with you and I am taking responsibility for whether I play or not. With that being said I want you to know that I am here for the team, I'll keep practicing and working hard and am ready to do whatever you need me to do for the team. If you think I need work in any specific areas please let me know and I will focus on those; otherwise just know that I'll be ready if you call on me.

 

[Holy Toledo!]

All of #7sDad's post is spot-on, but this part is the spot-oniest.

When reading the OP, the two things that immediately jumped out at me are 1. new coach this year with no history with the daughter, and 2. daughter injured early in season running the bases (question - does this imply that your daughter was a regular player before the injury?).

Not saying it's right, but I could definitely see this new coach being simply not willing to invest her time/energy in an injured player with whom she'll only be around for a couple of months (sorry if that reads harsher than I mean it to). She is probably more concerned about players that she will have going forward. Playing the AD's daughter in place of yours may just be an easy political way out.

It's a tough situation for your daughter, no doubt. I hope it all works out for the best.

...and don't shy away from those paragraph breaks in the future.

The HC was hired last summer and attended some of the travel ball games we played locally and she also was present when the high school girls played a short "fun league." I know she was not there to just watch my daughter but was there to see other players on that team who play on the HS team. My daughter was also in offseason softball with the HC for several months. It's kind of hard to say there was no history with her because there was no history with any of the players for that matter. However, with what I just told you is that my DD had more interaction with her than most. I know what your saying about no history though.

Yes, she was injured in practice running the bases. They were working on scenarios at the time. Yes, my DD was considered a starter. In the softball preview for the newspaper, the HC even pointed out that she would be returning to the outfield. The AD's daughter was not even mentioned in the paper but all of the other returning players were in respect to their positions.

I get your harsh words ... it's no offense. It does seem like the injury just made it easier for the HC to make the move she did with the AD's daughter. It is a tough situation for sure. Thanks for your opinion on the matter. I did fix the OP by the way

 

[MNDad]

Just a wild theory, but maybe the coach is rewarding the other player for her hard work by playing her. Your DD is a better player when healthy. In your words “her reaction time was a little behind”, so maybe she’s not the best player right now. It’s not her fault she was hurt, it’s hard to get better when you’re not playing, etc. It sucks, but that’s life. She’s just gotta make the best of the situation and be ready when she’s called on.

 

[Holy Toledo!]

Just a wild theory, but maybe the coach is rewarding the other player for her hard work by playing her. Your DD is a better player when healthy. In your words “her reaction time was a little behind”, so maybe she’s not the best player right now. It’s not her fault she was hurt, it’s hard to get better when you’re not playing, etc. It sucks, but that’s life. She’s just gotta make the best of the situation and be ready when she’s called on.

I get what your saying with your theory. Just a thought, how do you reward a player who has practiced about a month and ten days if you added all up as compared to a player who has played almost year round, was in offseason softball and but missed a month before being back to her usual self. You're right, it's not her fault and it's hard to get better in that situation. It does suck! She is doing what she can and is ready when the times comes, if it comes at all. Thanks for the input.

 

[Holy Toledo!]

Agreed I think you probably realize now you talking to HC was not going to help and probably going about it the wrong way (although probably didn't hurt either since it does sound like she is open to change).

I am encouraged that you both realize quitting is not an option so how about this.

My recommendation is your DD approach the HC and simply say "I know my dad talked to you and after thinking about it I realize that as a senior I should have just approached you myself with any questions. I've talked to my Dad and he has agreed that he won't discuss any on field issue with you and I am taking responsibility for whether I play or not. With that being said I want you to know that I am here for the team, I'll keep practicing and working hard and am ready to do whatever you need me to do for the team. If you think I need work in any specific areas please let me know and I will focus on those; otherwise just know that I'll be ready if you call on me.

I like your recommendation. I know it wouldn't hurt anything with that approach but I believe the HC has made up her mind. In fact, my DD told the HC this same thing prior to me visiting with the HC. My DD kept the HC informed of how rehab was going, when she could return, when she could practice, etc. In reality my DD kept the HC well informed on how hard she was working to do whatever she could for the team and to get on the field and contribute. It actually came down to my daughter approaching the HC on her own and requesting to play a little bit (and those were the exact words) just to feel like part of the team. The HC did put her in the following day. My daughter knew, and the HC knew, that her agility was not all the way there but at least she saw the field. I give the HC credit for that, no doubt. However, what my DD has experienced afterwards while still rehabbing to full strength has no explanation. The HC never informed my DD of what she would like to see or have her do. In fact, I don't think my DD ever mentioned the HC sitting down with them or meeting with them about her expectations at any point. I don't know if I'm making myself clear on what I'm trying to say.

 

[Chaz McNulty]

I knew beforehand that I shouldn't have talked to the coach but I was getting disgusted with the situation. I don't think I hurt her situation because it was apparently in motion anyway. She's a senior and it wasn't going to make a difference one way or another. The argument if you want to call it that went a different direction when they (the coaches) apparently tried to bring things up that made no sense whatsoever to the situation. A second assistant, who was here last year, t least said he know my daughter will make those tough catches but he said nothing else. I even asked the head coach if the assistant coach asked his opinion if she didn't know who played where and when if she wasn't here last year. She said she does. Well, I just heard something positive come out of his mouth but I guess it didn't matter at that point. This is not the first time there have been problem's with the athletic director's daughter. She has missed some practices because of track but she still plays. She has missed softball practices to play travel volleyball but still gets to play softball. She's good at a lot of things but not great. Plus she only interacts with one other player on the team. It almost seems like she is there just so she can get another award or have the coach nominate her for an all-star game, like in volleyball in basketball. It is just very frustrating.

College softball might still be an option but I think she make the right choice for now.

There are 3 outfield positions. I think you are a little to focused on the AD's daughter (just my opinion). Is there a chance that she can play LF or RF? Usually CF is the best outfielder, so if she got pushed out of her spot wouldn't she have a good chance of getting one of the other spots? Is it anoption of approaching the coach and letting her know that she will play anywhere?

 

[Holy Toledo!]

There are 3 outfield positions. I think you are a little to focused on the AD's daughter (just my opinion). Is there a chance that she can play LF or RF? Usually CF is the best outfielder, so if she got pushed out of her spot wouldn't she have a good chance of getting one of the other spots? Is it anoption of approaching the coach and letting her know that she will play anywhere?

My DD has played a little bit in LF and CF when she has been in. Same for the AD’s daughter but primarily CF. My daughter primarily played CF last year like I said in my OP and earned all district 1st team honors. The AD’s daughter primarily played LF last year when she was in, earning 2nd team honors. The other two outfielders are also returning letterman (LF, RF) and there is junior and freshman. I have nothing against the AD’s daughter but she just happens to be the one playing the same positions as my DD. When she was a freshman she played 2B and took time away from a senior which caused a similar type of problem like this one. The strange thing to me or the thing that is unknown to me is that my DD earned her spot on varsity as a freshman with a good showing in tryouts and practice. When they went to take the team picture 2-3 weeks later she said the AD’s daughter, who was still in basketball at the time, showed up in uniform and stood in the pictures with the varsity team. You can imagine what kind of ripple effect this had on the girls who worked at it and then this girl comes out of nowhere, no practice or anything, and takes a picture with them. I’m naive at this so I just really want to know how that is right? The next year the AD’s moved to the OF I believe or spent time arbor both. I’m really being honest hear when I say my DD is certainly the best outfielder on the team and the stats and observations by others prove that. If it were different I would say it. What I’ve been trying to say is that the HC has chosen to exclude my DD for some reason that she doesn’t deserve.