Bi - Polar?

[Jojo]

I think I have a student who is bi-polar.

Sure I've had many kids that go through mood swings in class, but this one is exceptional.

Once, I actually had a student whose parent told me she was bi-polar. When the kid would get a little frustrated, the parent would jump up off her bucket run to her walk her off, calm her down with soothing, "It's okay baby". The parent reminded me off that Twilight Zone where Billy Mummy would vanish people he didn't like into the nothing.
I never believed the kid was bi-polar, I just thought the kid knew how to throw crazy tantrums to get what she wanted.

But THIS kid! Every time she shows up for lessons, she's on top of the world, like she's literally on some high. She's bouncy and tells silly jokes and stories and talks real fast.

As soon as I get her warmed up and start to work on something, she turns off---like a switch--. We barely get anything accomplished because she's mentally not there anymore. Her face looks like she's just angry with the world and she won't try to make corrections. She won't talk and when she does, it's just "I can't".
When class is over she used to slam her glove to the ground start to cry and run straight from the field to the car leaving her parent to pick up all her stuff.
Since then I won't let her do that, but she pretty much just gathers her own stuff and storms off while I try to talk to her, sometimes she is crying sometimes she is close to it.
This happens at EVERY lesson.
I've put up with it because she is a gifted athlete, (which is another reason why I think she explodes so much when it doesn't come easy). But her progress could be a lot faster without the drama.

Do you think she may have an emotional issue, or is this just a spoiled child? Has anyone else ever had a player/student like this?
I've tried everything to reach her, but I refuse to tell her she's perfect and doesn't need to work on anything, even though that is what she wants to hear.
The parents only give her encouraging words and never get stern with her on her attitude.

 

[Coach JV]

She needs meds or there is something happening during class
with parent or possibly behind closed doors.

\As a bucket dad, I am conscious of my body language as well during lessons.
If DD needs correction, I call PC privately before lesson so he can put a
'spin' on it. I gave up dropping even subtle suggestions to my DD a long time ago.

 

[sluggers]

I don't think she is bi-polar. She has a specific trigger for when gets upset.

It sounds like she has a learning disability which is changing into a behavior disorder.

Generally, some kids get frustrated when they don't understand the instruction. Have you tried different teaching techniques?

People are either visual learners or auditory learners. Most of us have a preference for how we are taught, but usually we can learn either way if we make an effort.

BUT: There are some people who can't. It doesn't matter how hard they try. A lot of kids act out when the teacher attempts to use a method that doesn't work for them. (As an aside, if you are familiar with behavior disorder in kids--many of the kids are very intelligent, but have a learning disability. After a few years of failing to achieve, they start acting out--much like your student.)

You might want to ask her what she does in school if she wants to learn something. It may be that you have to give her a book for her to study.

 

[Coach Al]

Talk to her parents, be very polite and asked them if they noticed this also and see if they can have her evaluated. We as coaches can fix a bad batting stance or poor pitching mechanics. However we are not qualified and should not even attempt to handle this. Leave this to a mental health professional.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

I have coached long enough to have had students that had emotional problems and they always present themselves at the worst time. (I am a former teacher.)

Sometimes the meds can be adjusted so that she can get through practice.

There have been times, though, when I felt the individual was somewhat dangerous, if she/he decided to take her/his anger out on someone with a baseball bat.

In LL, I often had no choice but to give the child several chances.

If the parents haven't talked to you, by now, I am betting that they are either ignoring the problem, or perhaps the DD has asked that you not be informed.

How old is she?

 

[Jojo]

I've had her for a year, started as a 10yr old, now she is 11.
The trigger, is working on anything. What she wants to do is pitch well and have me say "great job". As soon as I say, "Now lets work on such and such"..it's over! Sometimes she'll do it on her own without any trigger from me. Just warming up fastballs and she throws a few bad ones, it's over without me saying a word. Or I'll jump straight to change-ups since we rarely get there since the mood has always turned south by then since she never has a good attitude when we work on them. It doesn't matter, if she throws a few bad ones or I make a constructed comment, it's over.
I've talked to the parents a little over time, and they just say she hates failure. I ask them how she does in games and they say for the most part, great--she's above average and dominates in her league, she's strong and can throw hard---this year she's moving into travel ball as a first year 12, so that may change.
In my classes we even play little competitive games, all the kids love them, but she refuses them, and I don't make her do them, she wouldn't try when I first asked her.

She was in a group class, and I moved her to a private so I could spend more time with her, but it's not changing.
The parents I don't get. I would never let my kid throw her glove down in class and run for the car because she's disappointed in herself.

The attitude is one thing, it's the extremeness in her behavior that has me worried. Every class she starts out so happy, I can hardly get her to take her warm ups seriously because she's so bubbly and goofy and bouncing all around, and then in a snap--Bang! Like evil twin!

I have been thinking about talking to the parents again, I wondered if any of you had experience with it. I know telling a parent they need to take their kid to a shrink isn't the best idea. The parents seem oblivious. It really is hurting her progress.

 

[cshilt]

I think you need to talk to the parents to find out if she has been diagnosed with a developmental or behavioral problem. If she has not, then I'd suggest that you consider dropping her as a student unless her behavior improves. She is developing a prima dona attitude that will not benefit her later in life and if there is no diagnosed issue you are only perpetuating the problem with her.

Now if she has been diagnosed with an issue, then you can educate yourself on how to deal with this behavior and what will work best with her. I think it is pretty clear that the current road she is on is heading in the wrong direction.

 

[Cannonball]

You might be on to something there. I'd suggest trying to do this. Engage this young lady in converstation about what you are trying to achieve as you give the lesson and start early before she shuts off. What happens for some is that they shut down simply because their self esteem is so low in the first place. By engaging a student early in communication, you can talk them trough trouble spots and let them re invest in the lesson. You can also try to do things like giving a lot of compliments on achievement.

 

[Jojo]

You might be on to something there. I'd suggest trying to do this. Engage this young lady in converstation about what you are trying to achieve as you give the lesson and start early before she shuts off. What happens for some is that they shut down simply because their self esteem is so low in the first place. By engaging a student early in communication, you can talk them trough trouble spots and let them re invest in the lesson. You can also try to do things like giving a lot of compliments on achievement.

Yes, I have done this, many times, thats where I get the --I don't want to do that, because I may fail-- so we don't do anything that has any sense of good vs bad involved. Like a percentage, how many pitches does it take to hit your spots, a competition game, etc, She will not do anything like that. In reality, it doesn't matter, she's just one bad pitch away from a mental breakdown.
I may also note, that when we have these conversations and I agree that she doesn't have to do something she doesn't want to, that temporarily perks her back up. It's like a control battle going between us.
I've even made her write down everything that bothers her class and bring it back to class, because when I ask in class she just screams she doesn't know.
The note she brought back just said she didn't like to fail.

 

[Cannonball]

Jojo, I'm not in your position and believe you have a good handle on it. I'm "old school" in a lot of ways. After I do the positive stuff and it has run its course, I approach parents and tell them that they are wasting their money. I have the player there. I explain that I can't coach a child that doesn't want to learn. In fact, I had a poster created that says, "You CAN'T FEED A ROCK!" You can't teach students who don't want to learn and you can't coach someone that doesn't want to improve. This young lady either has some emotional issues that are for the parents to deal with or she doesn't want to be there.