Announcing Tryouts for DFP Diamond Elite

[Greenmonsters]

You'll be lucky if your kid gets to get in as EP or FLex. Hilton is the official hotel of DFP Diamond Elite because GM get's a 10% kickback on team rooms.

You state that like its a bad thing. Hey, if the USSSA CEO makes a cool $750,000....

 

[Greenmonsters]

When my DD gets her spot I will require a few moments to lay some ground rules for the other parents who have children on this showcase extravaganza of a team.

1) Thanks for waiving our fees.
2) I am allowed to coach your daughter from stands and at practice but please refrain from speaking to mine unless you are cheering wildly. We have already hired the ONLY pitching/hitting coach who knows ANYTHING about softball. You fools should drop who you go to for lessons and start coming to mine immediately.
3) Don't be hanging around the dugout door. That's my spot. DD needs me to give her last minute tweaks and a pep talk before batting.
4) I understand it is necessary for your DD's to be on the team. It's a good thing they are here. I will assist you in setting them in orbit around my little Star.
5) You might need to assist at practice. I will be busy following the Important One around while you Normals practice.
6) Please don't be offended if I shout out mild rebukes and words of chastisement your daughter. I am trying to help her. Help her not make so many mistakes. We need the wins, DD is only 8 but its D-1 or NOTHING for her. What a pathetic life it would be without that D-1 spot. I would be so ashamed.
7) My DD will need to miss a practice here and there to dominate some games at the rec level. 114 games a summer are not enough for us, we want to show some of those townie C girls what REAL softball is about.

Thats all I have for now. Dismissed.

Welcome Head Coach Westwind of the DFP Diamond Elite - WestwindBlowhards. No problem, your team, your rules.

PS - Paypal fees or sleep with the fishes.

 

[Cannonball]

My understanding was that you had been retained as a Batboy/That Dad for the DFP Diamond Elite - GoingDeep team. That Dad's are to be handled by the Head Coaches so please bother him, not me, with your concerns regarding love and accomodations as I have more important things to address at the organizational level.

Then I propose a "That Dad Training Course" for those average dads that aspire to the next level. DFP can then be represented in the fashion it deserves.

 

[James Smith]

Can I do the Email portion of the class? I have it down to a science, oh wait DD is looking for another Team, never mind.

 

[Greenmonsters]

Then I propose a "That Dad Training Course" for those average dads that aspire to the next level. DFP can then be represented in the fashion it deserves.

Good idea, required training for the entire organization. Draft a syllabus and drive it by Head Coach GD for review and approval.

 

[nanotech14]

Good idea, required training for the entire organization. Draft a syllabus and drive it by Head Coach GD for review and approval.

I was just wondering if the construction of a pole barn, helps move you up in the ranks? I could call the pitches and instruct the batters, how they need to get on base, so my dd's home runs wont be solo shots. I will also help out with college coaches, to get a better feel on how good my dd is. I could also point out some of the other girls, that could be good 2nd stringers for those div.1 teams.

 

[Westwind]

YES!

We gonna call it the WB for short.

 

[Greenmonsters]

My pole barn will be done next week. I was hoping to be the PC for the DFP Diamond Elite, after all my dd is going to be the #1 pitcher, or you can find another pole barn.

Please contact us when your Pole Barn is complete and pictures have been sent to GD for proof. Ray Ray is looking forward to working with you, but you will have to tell her she's now the #2!

 

[WB Coach]

Will there be a credit check?

 

[guero_gordo]

Good idea, required training for the entire organization. Draft a syllabus and drive it by Head Coach GD for review and approval.

For dad's hoping to ascend to TD status, a proposed method/syllabus:

1. Open and consume 12oz. PBR.
2. Repeat step 1 until the desired result is achieved.