Hey hootie, I get and understand you just wrote here! Real world playing and experience throws everything you wrote out the window! My DD hasn't used a "softball" glove since she was 10, and there's a lot of guys on this board here who's DD uses a baseball glove, along with probably 100 other girls outside of this forum I've put into high quality baseball gloves!Also just relaying info from major glove manufacturers!
Gloves are similar looking with color, lacing, and leather, but one of the main differences between baseball and softball gloves is the design. The ball, for both sports, plays a huge role. A regulation baseball is only 9” and a regulation softball is about 12”. So, baseball gloves are made with a smaller and longer pocket since the ball is smaller, whereas the pocket of a softball glove is deeper and shorter since the ball is larger. For example, if you had a 12-inch baseball and softball glove side-by-side the baseball glove would be taller because the softball pocket is much deeper which makes the glove wider that is it tall.
Another thing to note in the design is the web of these gloves. Baseball gloves tend to be more versatile with its webs since the pocket isn’t as deep, unlike the softball gloves. Pitchers for both sports need a closed web to hide the ball but the web in a softball glove will tend to run deeper in the pocket than a baseball glove.
Bottom line is most softball gloves suck, most not all. Some manufacturers are finally going away from Velcro wrist closures, finally! All the depth measurements / pocket sizes aside, it's about the internals for me, the guts on a high quality glove (A2000, HOH, etc.) are just head and shoulders above / better than a dedicated softball glove, which are just cheap and terrible inside!
And speaking of all the sizes and measurements you were talking about.....it's not an issue if you know what model baseball gloves to look for! I've done this a couple of times!