Don’t Touch the Players

[radness]

Of course, never said otherwise. That said, all situations are not the same.

Nor are they way people perceive others actions or personal space.

 

[HunterMO]

Unfortunately much of this comes down to changes that have happened in our society. Some of the changes are necessary, but some take it further than needed... I think everyone can agree that certain actions are inappropriate (grown man chest bumping a young girl...). The line becomes a little more distorted in regards to certain other actions (moving someone's hands when demonstrating bat grip or something...). Unfortunately, if one person finds that action inappropriate, every other person has to take that into consideration. It doesn't matter if we all agree, it's just the way it is.

What it comes down to is that there are certain people that demand that others consider their views and beliefs, while those same people completely disregard other people's views and beliefs in the process...

I was going to post something in kind, but yours is way shorter.

As a Dad.....I have zero issue with a coach (male or female) moving my kids (all three have done baseball/softball at some level) hands or guiding them (gently) by the shoulders if necessary. DD2 is not an athlete no matter how hard she has tried. She's into art, music, and other things which is wonderful. She tried tee ball and coach pitch through the rec system. She is one of those kids that just didn't get it no matter how hard you tried to explain it verbally. She needed someone to put her hands in the right spot and physically position her in the batters box. Once that was done a couple times she got it and it wasn't necessary anymore. The verbal instruction was fine.

High fives, fist bumps, elbow taps....all good. I'm generalizing, but I think most players (male and female) respond positively to that from a coach. If a parent/player has an issue with even that I'm 100% fine not doing it. Air fives became a thing last year with us due to COVID.

Now....chest bumping, shoulder rubbing, hugging....that's a hard no for me. I would have a discussion with the coach real quick. And if it didn't stop DD would be pulled from the team.

 

[_MIA_]

Nor are they way people perceive others actions or personal space.

and as I said in response to @FP26, if a parent expressed concern I would certainly respect that.

 

[HunterMO]

Nor are they way people perceive others actions or personal space.

DW experienced abuse as a child. (She's very open about it and currently getting certified to be a counselor). When we first started DD1 in sports she was VERY aware and sensitive towards how coaches approached DD. We both still are. One Fall season DD1 filled in for a sister team. The head coach had a daughter on the team (we didn't know that at the time) and gave her a hip tap with a clip board after stealing home. DW brought it up to me. I said if he did it to DD we'd say something and she wouldn't play for him anymore. He didn't. We found out that was his daughter afterwards. But.....speaks to the point about perception.

 

[radness]

and as I said in response to @FP26, if a parent expressed concern I would certainly respect that.

Take that a step further...
So its touch first and find out if its ok or not?

DW experienced abuse as a child. (She's very open about it and currently getting certified to be a counselor). When we first started DD1 in sports she was VERY aware and sensitive towards how coaches approached DD. We both still are. One Fall season DD1 filled in for a sister team. The head coach had a daughter on the team (we didn't know that at the time) and gave her a hip tap with a clip board after stealing home. DW brought it up to me. I said if he did it to DD we'd say something and she wouldn't play for him anymore. He didn't. We found out that was his daughter afterwards. But.....speaks to the point about perception.

Thanku for sharing that....
I was just about to post that above comment ....

( hopefully this discussion will reach a few folks)

 

[_MIA_]

Take that a step further...
So its touch first and find out if its ok or not?

In the context of WHAT I did, WHY I did it and WHO I did it to, yes.

How about this? If I am providing hitting instruction to a teenage female am I allowed to look at her chest/hip area to see if she is opening up too soon? If I was a female I would probably feel uncomfortable with an adult male staring at my chest, regardless of the reason.

 

[KobeJames248]

on a side note, i went and watched 3 former players in a schoolball game yesterday......one ran up with a hug....it was a very quick/barely touch i'm sweaty and gross and you aren't but i'm happy you came to watch us did you see my HR sort of thing, but.........

I understand, that has happened to me to. Some players that I work with will send me their schedules and ask me to come out to the games. I go and at the end of the game sometimes they'll come in for a hug. I try my best to keep it to a fist bump and not make it awkward.

 

[KobeJames248]

I was going to post something in kind, but yours is way shorter.

As a Dad.....I have zero issue with a coach (male or female) moving my kids (all three have done baseball/softball at some level) hands or guiding them (gently) by the shoulders if necessary. DD2 is not an athlete no matter how hard she has tried. She's into art, music, and other things which is wonderful. She tried tee ball and coach pitch through the rec system. She is one of those kids that just didn't get it no matter how hard you tried to explain it verbally. She needed someone to put her hands in the right spot and physically position her in the batters box. Once that was done a couple times she got it and it wasn't necessary anymore. The verbal instruction was fine.

High fives, fist bumps, elbow taps....all good. I'm generalizing, but I think most players (male and female) respond positively to that from a coach. If a parent/player has an issue with even that I'm 100% fine not doing it. Air fives became a thing last year with us due to COVID.

Now....chest bumping, shoulder rubbing, hugging....that's a hard no for me. I would have a discussion with the coach real quick. And if it didn't stop DD would be pulled from the team.

If you don't mind me asking what do you mean by shoulder rubbing? I just want a clear understanding of what that is.

 

[HunterMO]

If you don't mind me asking what do you mean by shoulder rubbing? I just want a clear understanding of what that is.

I was just trying to give some extreme examples of unnecessary touching between coach and player. Could be whatever I suppose. Just meaning a generic shoulder rub or squeeze. A high-five or fist bump is plenty when saying "good job".

I'd say....injury related such as trying to work out a tweak or pull is an exception maybe.

Edit: I know I'm generalizing. There's a hundred different things "shoulder rub" could mean.

 

[KobeJames248]

I was just trying to give some extreme examples of unnecessary touching between coach and player. Could be whatever I suppose. Just meaning a generic shoulder rub or squeeze. A high-five or fist bump is plenty when saying "good job".

I'd say....injury related such as trying to work out a tweak or pull is an exception maybe.

Edit: I know I'm generalizing. There's a hundred different things "shoulder rub" could mean.

My bad I totally misinterpreted what you were saying, when I initially read "shoulder rubbing" I thought of a coach's and player's each individual shoulders rubbing against each other. Seemed like a weird idea that I didn't quite understand. But if you mean shoulder rubbing like a massage type of action then yes I agree with you, unless for injury purposes, shoulder rubbing shouldn't take place. My bad for the misunderstanding.