Tirade by Indiana softball coach forces university to investigate line between motiva

softballphreak said:

So maybe the coaches who rant and rave to the point of bringing college-age athletes to tears are grooming them for their future bosses when they enter the work force? Or maybe preparing them for an abusive spouse? What's the lesson?

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The best lesson I learned in life was with an overbearing boss. He singled me out and made every attempt to break me. I learned over time to listen, but not respond emotionally to his "abuse". Always be kind in return, and figure out his requests, and do them.

Once an "abuser" figures out their tactics do not get the emotional response wanted, they end up making a fool out of themselves and the people around them figure it out and their ultimate authority wains.

Physical abuse is different. But verbal abuse is something almost entirely up to the respondent to overcome. Overcoming how to beat a verbal abuser (kill them with kindness) will get you farther in life than just about any life lesson.

Not sure how this applies to coaching. These days young folks do learn to tune out once the verbal tirades get out of hand. Ultimately, if all the players tune out the coach she loses authority and will see the door sooner rather than later.

Verbal abusers want to attack on the personal level. Once you figure out their tactics, refuse to take them personally, it becomes easy to overcome. In fact you turn the table on them and become amused as the verbal abuser continue to make a fool of themselves, lower their status in life, as your stock rises.

Physical abuse, financial abuse, is different. Verbal abuse, not so much. Takes a strong mind to overcome, but once done, the verbal abuser becomes a laughing stock.

Man, verbal abuse will break me. Physical abuse, not so much. These young ladies did not enlist.

I am an admirer of Pat Summitt. I have read everything that she has ever written. The girls that she yelled at knew above all else, that she loved them. Some coaches deserve $112,000, some not.

Easton33 said:

This is college and if a player can't stand to be yelled out then they should hit the road. They didn't even give a borderline example of a statement she made that was across the line. Mental toughness is part of the game and that might be what they are lacking. Put your big girl panties on and play ball. No contact, no foul.

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More and more universities want coaches who can motivate and win without yelling insults. If coaches can't stand to be held to that standard, then they can hit the road.

JJsqueeze said:

There is a big difference between throwing a basketball at a player and telling a player they sucked.

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And there is a big difference between being fired and being investigated.

Being enlisted has nothing to do with it. Simply drawing a comparison to what other adults this age endure and how some are up in arms because a coach yelled at a player. Verbal abuse, how do you define it? Is it the tone, or the words? Would she be in less trouble for saying the same thing in a lower tone? If so then yelling has nothing to do with it. If it is the words, well I saw no good example of anything she said that crossed the line. It sucks losing this game, you guys played horribly, what did she say that was bad?

Financial abuse.... my wife has subjected me to this for years!

CoogansBluff said:

More and more universities want coaches who can motivate and win without yelling insults. If coaches can't stand to be held to that standard, then they can hit the road.

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What insults did she yell? All this talk and no one can say what exactly she said that was wrong. From what I read she did it in the locker room away from public and parents.She did not go out of her way to embarrass the players, she had a team meeting after a game. If a ballplayer misses a groundball between their legs are you gonna talk about the fly ball they caught and ignore the error? The truth isn't always pretty but nonetheless it needs to be told. Sounds like she told them what she thought the truth was and as the coach her perspective is what counts in the locker room.

How many of you posting here, about how women should feel, are female? Obviously, this case has had a lasting effect on these women, for it to be brought up this much later.

I always laugh at every level, after a bad game, the coaches convene with the team and offer long-winded words of wisdom, and sometimes a scathing breakdown of the problems.

I ask my DD what they say. "I don't know, I stopped listening". The good coaches know, and many don't, the most effective coaching comes one on one, in short one sentence comments to a player as they are working on their craft, on a constant and continual basis.

Group long talks are not effective, though the coach seems to walk away pleased she had this lesson. But did anyone actually listen?

Amy in AZ. said:

How many of you posting here, about how women should feel, are female? Obviously, this case has had a lasting effect on these women, for it to be brought up this much later.

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Good point Amy, I can't tell you how a woman feels (emotionally). IMO, this IS the problem. Equality, don't treat them like girls or boys. Treat them like ballplayers. Maybe some coaches do need to soften their approach but as whole the softball community needs to raise the bar on mental toughness. Where a critical statement doesn't leave lasting emotional scars and 2 buckets of tears. Treat them like ballplayers when they are young so they are prepared to be treated as ballplayers when they are older.

Yelling versus Yelling Profanities directly at a player for "SUCKING" is greatly different. I do not see the AD at IU coming in and yelling profanities at the HC for loosing 15 straight to finish the season. I still feel that cursing a player because you feel they stink is your problem as the HC. In most cases YOU PICKED THE PLAYER. Maybe in the end one could say you should've picked better. While heckling a player from an OPPOSING team is immature it is not what Gardner did at IU. Wooden also quit doing it as he aged. That said, He NEVER cursed them or told them they sucked. BTW, the locker room is public. It happened in front of the entire team and all coaches. That is public.

In the end it is on the coach. If a coach made a bad decision recruiting and their top line players are not getting it done....Sit them and play the others. If you are going to loose then do it developing players for the future. Truly competitive players will be motivated by this without being publicly humiliated.

I also get being tough minded. However sports if not the military. Sport is not life or death. The military is vastly different and a unique situation as opposed to typical life. What our 18+ year old do for us is great and to compare it to a sport is not even in the same league. I LOVE sports but recognize it is just that. Sport. To reference or compare the two make little sense to me.

Once again, I still feel creating tough minded players/people does not require singling out negatively or humiliating them. It does require establishing trust with the player, being honest with them always and not babying them. All can be done without cursing or demeaning them.

Just will say agree to disagree on this one.