What's the classy way to leave an org?

Eric F said:

Classy way:
- Thank the coach(es) for their time and effort with your DD.
- Keep the "why" as simple as you can - "We feel it's time for us to move on".
- Wish them well for the future.

Not-classy way:
- Talk crap about the coaches to other parents during what you know will be your DD's final game.
- Pull your DD off the team in the middle of a tournament.
- Write a long letter/email to the HC blasting every member of the coaching staff, and insulting players.

Be classy.

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If what the OP says is true, I doubt that these parents are the only ones saying WTF is going on with this org? It is human nature to talk to each other to ensure your perspective is in line rather than out of whack. Doesn't sound like it's the coaching but the org that's the problem. Chances are other parents are attuned to this as well and there is much discussion going on behind the scenes. Been there before and whether it's classy or not, when something stinks people talk.

ihaterain said:

Thankfully I don't think we are going to be in a position where DD is turned off from softball. She has come to the realization - although we as her parents have done so earlier this year - that the org is not the best fit for her long term goals. This is the result of empty promises from the org that do not get fulfilled. DD has now put 2 and 2 together and realized that this is a pattern and not likely to change. For the time being, she is enjoying the season with her teammates and will miss them, but she is growing up and wants to move on to a more established org with more extensive travel and opportunities to be in prestigious showcases down the line. These orgs have already expressed interest in DD. Now we just have to figure out how far we are willing to travel for practices...

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Your line of thinking is good unless DD is playing 8U. Where we live, it is normal to travel an hour one way to get to practices and lessons. If you and your DD's aspirations is to play at the next level (insert age group)with better players and better competition you HAVE to change, but make sure there is a progression to get on the "marquee" team. Otherwise you are back playing with the Hittin' Kittens.

SBmom8992 said:

If what the OP says is true, I doubt that these parents are the only ones saying WTF is going on with this org? It is human nature to talk to each other to ensure your perspective is in line rather than out of whack. Doesn't sound like it's the coaching but the org that's the problem. Chances are other parents are attuned to this as well and there is much discussion going on behind the scenes. Been there before and whether it's classy or not, when something stinks people talk.

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I don't disagree with you. There is a difference between comparing notes, and spewing venom on your way out the door.

Agree with most posters. When we put our team together we know we are basically on a 1 year deal. If the player doesn't hold up their end of the deal we will move on to someone else. If we don't provide the best environment for them to play, develop and have a good time they will move on. That is all the responsibility you have.

As a coach the only thing I want to know is, "What were you expecting?".

ihaterain said:

Thankfully I don't think we are going to be in a position where DD is turned off from softball. She has come to the realization - although we as her parents have done so earlier this year - that the org is not the best fit for her long term goals. This is the result of empty promises from the org that do not get fulfilled. DD has now put 2 and 2 together and realized that this is a pattern and not likely to change. For the time being, she is enjoying the season with her teammates and will miss them, but she is growing up and wants to move on to a more established org with more extensive travel and opportunities to be in prestigious showcases down the line. These orgs have already expressed interest in DD. Now we just have to figure out how far we are willing to travel for practices...

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^^^ You are us 4 years ago!! Same story... I wanted DD to leave after year 1, she wasn't ready... she had all her new club friends, fun times, hotels, etc. But by end of year 2, she was now the one ready to move on. And she's never looked back. Now her original teammates are also all on various teams and they still keep in touch. If they're at the same tourney, they love taking group pics of the original team now in all their different uniforms. Friends and teammates forever, regardless of the colors they wear and each one is in the best circumstances for them personally.

FWIW- after 3 years with a program we decided to leave, mostly due to the program director. we both had liked the teams but each year got a little more bizarre. I want softball to be about softball, not drama!

entirely different chemistry on the new team, and it is good!

The classy way to leave an org...in a limo your new team sent for her. That's what popped into my head when I read your subject line...made me chuckle.

What others have said is spot on, direct and high level if possible, just like resigning from a job. Would add that if there was specific and quantifiable reason why you are leaving them you may consider mentioning if coach/org. truly wants to know, ie: "I can't afford the additional costs not mentioned initially, pick up players playing while roster players sit, told it would be set roster of 12, now there are 16 etc." If I were the head of a club I would want to know those things as some type of exit interview. If players are leaving for the same reasons obviously something needs attention if club is to grow. Also, beware the counter-offer to stay!

Depending on your DDs age, you may want to suggest that she write a follow up email/letter to the coach and club head (if you know them) once resignation is done just to close loop and leave positive last action. "Thanks for opportunity, loved the time with team/club, appreciate what I learned from you, best wishes/luck", no need to address reasons for leaving. Like others have said, it's a small community and a small gesture like that if appropriate (which in this case sounds like it is) goes a long way. If you DD is 16+ I would have her resign to coach (with a little prep), and just be there in background as a parent.

GunnerShotgun said:

As a coach the only thing I want to know is, "What were you expecting?".

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That's at the crux of most of the problems. Expectations not being met. Coaches have to be really careful in what they say during the tryout period.

Coach says, "We really like your DD and the way she fields the ground ball. Our depth at middle infield isn't the strongest, so DD will have a good chance of playing there if she can prove herself."

What the parent hears "DD will be our starting short stop for the entire season."

If the whole conversation stakes more then 60 seconds you did something wrong.

Coach we want to thank you for the time you spent with little Suzy. We enjoyed the time we spent on the elite gold diamond queens but we feel that our goals don't exactly match up with the orgs goals and for that reason we are moving to a different org. We wish you all good luck next year. -exit stage left-

Don't answer questions or offer specific reasons why, just thanks and good bye.