I am in full agreement.
It was a conspiracy! It is such a messed up situation, but I will try and describe it.
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My DD Snuck out, I am at a loss how to deal with this.
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I am in full agreement.
It was a conspiracy! It is such a messed up situation, but I will try and describe it.
The other family decided to let me know directly after our last game at state. I was packing my chair out to my car and the mother came up to me and in a matter of fact way said, “Just so you know your daughter snuck out when she stayed the night.” She also expressed speaking with several of the parents on the team.
I got my DD, the other girl that stayed the night, and the host family together, and asked my DD if this was true, she said yes. I then expressed how it was unfair for her to have put them in that situation, and told her she needed to apologize to them for doing that, and then told her she needed to get in the car.
I then thanked them for that information and asked how on earth they could think this was the time to have this discussion, as well and the preferred time would have been when it happened.
She “The Mother” said she didn't want it to affect softball. I expressed I could care less about softball. I care about the safety and wellbeing of my child. I also said that had the roles been reversed I would have called either parent immediately after I finished chewing the child’s butt if it happened at my home.
She told me that I did not have that experience so I cannot know what I would have done if I were in that situation. I expressed, there is zero question what I would have done regardless of the outcome my child or any child in my care is my highest priority regardless.
At this point the parent of the other girl that stayed interjected and started apologizing immediately; he said “you are absolutely right, if it were my daughter I would have wanted to know immediately.”
The mother said, you would have pulled her out of softball and would have ruined the season. I said you are right she would not have been playing as a result of her choices.
Now I have left out some things that I said, a lot of which are 4 letter words that begin with F, most of which were said at a pretty good volume.
On the drive home I called several of the families and apologized about how I handled this and for my daughter’s actions if they somehow had an impact on them during the season. In speaking with the parents I learned that the “mother” had already let most of the team know that my DD had snuck out.
I called the Coach and talked with him, and asked if he knew he said he found out “Friday Night” “last game was Saturday “in the hotel parking lot, when he came across the mother talking to several of the players about it, so it was not limited to the parents but also the other players.
So to make things more interesting, we play TB on a team that is 120 miles away, and the Host family’s DD is a pitcher on that same team.
There is still more to this, but it becomes almost too complex to type out. OMG what a mess.
I did not want to post this whole mess in the beginning because it would have muddied the water so to speak, the threads intention was to get assistance with how to handle my daughter. Thanks to the responses I feel I got the best possible advice.
I got my DD, the other girl that stayed the night, and the host family together, and asked my DD if this was true, she said yes. I then expressed how it was unfair for her to have put them in that situation, and told her she needed to apologize to them for doing that, and then told her she needed to get in the car.
I then thanked them for that information and asked how on earth they could think this was the time to have this discussion, as well and the preferred time would have been when it happened.
She “The Mother” said she didn't want it to affect softball. I expressed I could care less about softball. I care about the safety and wellbeing of my child. I also said that had the roles been reversed I would have called either parent immediately after I finished chewing the child’s butt if it happened at my home.
She told me that I did not have that experience so I cannot know what I would have done if I were in that situation. I expressed, there is zero question what I would have done regardless of the outcome my child or any child in my care is my highest priority regardless.
At this point the parent of the other girl that stayed interjected and started apologizing immediately; he said “you are absolutely right, if it were my daughter I would have wanted to know immediately.”
The mother said, you would have pulled her out of softball and would have ruined the season. I said you are right she would not have been playing as a result of her choices.
Now I have left out some things that I said, a lot of which are 4 letter words that begin with F, most of which were said at a pretty good volume.
On the drive home I called several of the families and apologized about how I handled this and for my daughter’s actions if they somehow had an impact on them during the season. In speaking with the parents I learned that the “mother” had already let most of the team know that my DD had snuck out.
I called the Coach and talked with him, and asked if he knew he said he found out “Friday Night” “last game was Saturday “in the hotel parking lot, when he came across the mother talking to several of the players about it, so it was not limited to the parents but also the other players.
So to make things more interesting, we play TB on a team that is 120 miles away, and the Host family’s DD is a pitcher on that same team.
There is still more to this, but it becomes almost too complex to type out. OMG what a mess.
I did not want to post this whole mess in the beginning because it would have muddied the water so to speak, the threads intention was to get assistance with how to handle my daughter. Thanks to the responses I feel I got the best possible advice.
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I think if I was standing in your shoes my DD's High School career would be over. The coach(es) and parents seem to lack any sense of ethics or integrity and as such should never be trusted. I would be constantly wondering what else I was not being told and if I was once again being played.
After reading through it again I sit back and think "I sound like a complete moron" or someone with an extreme case of paranoia.
I was surprised at how many of the other's were aware of this, and yet no one said anything.
Several said, it was not something I wanted to get involved in. And, we were told by the mother that she was taken care of it.
A few were families that I felt would say something, our DD's had been friends since the 1'st grade.
It has been an eyeopener for us.
I still look at it in type and think this has got to be something made up, unfortunately its not.
I was surprised at how many of the other's were aware of this, and yet no one said anything.
Several said, it was not something I wanted to get involved in. And, we were told by the mother that she was taken care of it.
A few were families that I felt would say something, our DD's had been friends since the 1'st grade.
It has been an eyeopener for us.
I still look at it in type and think this has got to be something made up, unfortunately its not.
Sometimes I like to play the Devil's Advocate, and give the other side, even if it is not my opinion.
Sometimes that works out well, other times I've gotten people angry at me.
I can, to at least some extent, play the Devil's Advocate in this case.
I am too upset at my DD's rec ball coaches right now to do so, since I might be in too bad a mood to do so judiciously.
Sometimes that works out well, other times I've gotten people angry at me.
I can, to at least some extent, play the Devil's Advocate in this case.
I am too upset at my DD's rec ball coaches right now to do so, since I might be in too bad a mood to do so judiciously.
- Nov 29, 2009
- 2,973
- 83
Your whole situation falls under the category of "Kids don't think." You're not alone and your fears are valid. Especially your feelings towards the other parents who withheld the information from you.
The HS varsity team by my house had their season devastated just before the start of the post season. All but 3 of the girls on the varsity team were videoed or photographed at a party where there was alcohol being consumed. The school found out about and suspended them for violating the school Code of Conduct they signed.
The HC was put into a really difficult situation because she is also the Assistant AD at the school.
I would welcome someone who could possibly provide some insight/or an alternative view. I do appreciate your reservation until you are in a better frame of mind.
I was afraid that I may have been overreacting to the situation, my wife and I gave it a night, and talked about again the following day, and were still completely miffed.
Thank you for your comments.
After reading that I am thankful that my DD only snuck out.
That is a shame, i do not wish to be in their parents shoe's.
Oh, the late night riding around. I remember it well. It was fun and it was dangerous 40 years ago.
I have no idea, why the mom decided to run her mouth to everyone. Yikes. This reminds me of the saying "You find out who your friends are."
I think that the punishment you are doling out, is appropriate. I bet travel ball works it's self out. It seems like it always does.
I have no idea, why the mom decided to run her mouth to everyone. Yikes. This reminds me of the saying "You find out who your friends are."
I think that the punishment you are doling out, is appropriate. I bet travel ball works it's self out. It seems like it always does.
