You Know Your Daughter Plays Fastpitch if . . .
- Thread starter Classof2020
- Start date
Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch
Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.
..At a kid's birthday party with a pinata, you never let your DD go first, allowing the other kids can take a whack before your DD blows it open.
Eye protection is recommended.
- Jun 19, 2013
- 753
- 28
If her older brother doesn't want to play catch with her because she throws too hard.
- Aug 20, 2013
- 265
- 0
on "off" weekends, you have no idea what you're going to do with your time...so you grab DD and drive to the nearest tournament to check out some games.
I took the liberty of consolidating these so you can send them out as an email, post on FB, Pinterest, etc...I made some grammatical corrections and other small changes here or there just to make it readable for the average person.
You know your daughter plays fastpitch if…
• You find chunks of dirt in the kitchen that you know came out of her cleats after she must have tried to make a dash to the kitchen for her forgotten water bottle.
• You always have clips or bobby pins in your pocket for keeping hair out the eyes.
• When the bumper sticker on the back of the SUV reads "Fastpitch, where good girls steal!” Or “You wish you threw like a girl!”
• Your car has more (partially) empty Gatorade or water bottles than a recycle bin.
• When you are driving in the car and a stray ball is rolling around in the back clunking every time you turn a corner.
• When the softball gear takes up so much room in the back of the SUV that you have to put the groceries in the backseat.
• When your daughter shows up in a swimsuit at a pool party and everyone notices her tan lines left by her uniform
• When your daughter wears her uniform for career day at school.
When her softball picture is the one she uses for her "All about me" poster at school.
• She's got bruises in six different colors, aging like fine wine, and she likes to show them off
• When the MOM Purse only contains one of Mom's personal items - her wallet - yet has 4 hair scrunchies, 2 dozen pony tail bands, sunscreen, aloe vera and pretty much a full EMT emergency first aid kit; just in case.
• After pulling into any parking lot, you look for the window decals denoting which team the car owner's daughter(s) play for
• If your SUV smells like dirty feet on the ride home Sunday
• Grass isn't cut
• Truck is coated with diamond dust
• Only room for one car in the garage due to buckets, bags, nets, tents, coolers, bats, fold up chairs, and cases of Gatorade
• Uniforms constantly draped over dining room chairs to dry after washing
• The mustard gas odor from rotten cleats in the back seat
• The DVR is full of unwatched programs and games
• Piles of dirty laundry
• No extra cash
• Sunburned face with a white outline where your sunglasses sit
• Gas tank never seems to get above 1/4 tank
• Vacations at work are for the week of the world series
• Batting cage in the back yard
• Batting cage on one side of the basement and a pitching lane and jugs net on the other half of the basement.
• You look forward to going back to work on Monday because you drove 300+ miles and played 8+ games Fri-Sun and are exhausted from the weekend
• You spend 3 hours of your "free time" using a red Sharpie to draw laces on 50 yellow Solo cups for your DD's team party
• You are thinking of moving so you can have a basement big enough for an indoor pitching lane.
• When your idea of a fine restaurant is a place that sells a hotdog with all the fixings (anything more than ketchup and mustard is close enough) and a walking taco to go with it.
• Someone asks you how old your daughters are and you say "I got an '02 and a '97".
• You no longer own clothes that don't have a team name on them.
• You know Easton bats by their model numbers even if your kid never swung one and you can tell the vintage of a Rocketech by the color.
• You look at the softballs Dicks Sporting goods sells and you know your kids would hate them because they would be "too mushy" in a few weeks.
• You know what OPS and ROE mean.
• You know that just because your kid put the ball in play 6 times out of 10 plate appearances does not mean she hit .600.
• You have skeptical views and make unusual criticisms of many lawn chairs.
• You have developed a preference for 7 gallon buckets over the commonly found but obviously inferior 5 gallon bucket.
• Optic yellow is now your favorite color and you think that red seam pin striping should go on everything.
• You don't need a GPS to give directions to every softball field within a 75 mile radius.
• Your dining room table is littered with old tourney and pool play brackets.
• Sunflower seeds are your snack of choice and only one brand will do.
• Your computer hard drive and phone are filled with movies of each at bat to analyze swing mechanics.
• MOI means so much more to you now than it did while actually taking Physics.
• You carry her baby brother around in a bucket
• You tell someone on Monday you watched your daughter play 6 games that weekend. They say "That must of sucked" and your only thought is "You're right, we should have won that semi-final game"
• When you run on to the field after that line drive hits your daughter <anywhere on the body> and her only two responses are: "Can you see the stitches" and "If I can stand up I can stay in ...Right?"
• You find sunflower seeds in the lint trap of your dryer.
• All of the hallway bathroom vanity drawers have headbands, ribbons, and bows hanging out and you can't close them
• When you need (insert anything you want here: car needs repair, kids need clothes, no food in the house, behind on bills) and you don't have the money, but somehow you can justify spending $300 on a new bat at the same time and feel good about it.
• Your girls have more jerseys than dresses…oh wait…then you realize your girls don’t own ANY dresses!
• When you just bought a commercial-grade top loading washing machine because you told the sales guy "I don't need steam wash and a zillion digital settings. I just need something that will move a lot of dirt"
• The section of her closet devoted to softball t-shirts, jerseys and the like has overrun everything else, leaving "non-softball" clothing shoved together into a small, sad, overlooked clump.
• The only makeup she owns is eye-black.
• You seriously consider prohibiting your daughter from playing ANYTHING at school during softball season.
• She breaks a finger and says, "Can't you just cut it off like that football player dude?"
• She has a disassembled Tanner tee in her school backpack.
• You can't name the teams left in the NBA\NHL playoffs but can list the teams going to super regional’s
• You have absolutely no idea what is going on in the world. The only thing that seems to matter is who are the other teams in your pool and whether you have a chance to get a good seed in bracket play. You might not know anything about problems in the Mideast, the Ukraine, and elsewhere, but by God you'll know if the Acme Thunder has a reliable number two starting pitcher.
• No matter what color the upholstery is in your car, the passenger seat is reddish brown
• When you pull into the parking lot at Home Depot and your first thought is to park somewhere to avoid foul balls. Sadly you realize there isn't a diamond nearby.
• You do get some odd looks at the sports bar when you ask if they can change the NBA game to the SEC Tournament and even more odd looks when you ask the guy at the next table if he know if Traina is going to start for ‘Bama that day.
• When the Fields you visit look better than your own yard.
When you go out to dinner and your daughter comes out with a tournament shirt on. You scold her and tell her to put something nicer on…she comes back wearing a t-shirt from nationals claiming that is a “dressy T”
• You can remember tournament dates and game high lights but struggle remembering your wedding anniversary
• You have never been late for a game but struggle to make it on time for date night with your spouse
• You believe that a walking Taco is in itself a food group
• You raise all kinds of hell about wasting money on excessive heat and cooling bills but wouldn’t blink at dropping 300 dollars on a new bat.
• If you spend 30 minutes deleting last year's kids birthday pics off the Ipad to make more room for Coach's Eye videos.
• At a kid's birthday party with a piñata, you are very proud that you resist the temptation to break out your daughter’s composite bat and go to town!
• If they've lost their bat in the couch...
• If her older brother doesn't want to play catch with her because she throws too hard.
• On "off" weekends, you have no idea what you're going to do with your time...so you grab your daughter and drive to the nearest tournament to check out some games.
• When your youngest daughter’s playing days are nearing their end and you are SERIOUSLY contemplating adopting a 7 year old so you can do it all over again!
You know your daughter plays fastpitch if…
• You find chunks of dirt in the kitchen that you know came out of her cleats after she must have tried to make a dash to the kitchen for her forgotten water bottle.
• You always have clips or bobby pins in your pocket for keeping hair out the eyes.
• When the bumper sticker on the back of the SUV reads "Fastpitch, where good girls steal!” Or “You wish you threw like a girl!”
• Your car has more (partially) empty Gatorade or water bottles than a recycle bin.
• When you are driving in the car and a stray ball is rolling around in the back clunking every time you turn a corner.
• When the softball gear takes up so much room in the back of the SUV that you have to put the groceries in the backseat.
• When your daughter shows up in a swimsuit at a pool party and everyone notices her tan lines left by her uniform
• When your daughter wears her uniform for career day at school.
When her softball picture is the one she uses for her "All about me" poster at school.
• She's got bruises in six different colors, aging like fine wine, and she likes to show them off
• When the MOM Purse only contains one of Mom's personal items - her wallet - yet has 4 hair scrunchies, 2 dozen pony tail bands, sunscreen, aloe vera and pretty much a full EMT emergency first aid kit; just in case.
• After pulling into any parking lot, you look for the window decals denoting which team the car owner's daughter(s) play for
• If your SUV smells like dirty feet on the ride home Sunday
• Grass isn't cut
• Truck is coated with diamond dust
• Only room for one car in the garage due to buckets, bags, nets, tents, coolers, bats, fold up chairs, and cases of Gatorade
• Uniforms constantly draped over dining room chairs to dry after washing
• The mustard gas odor from rotten cleats in the back seat
• The DVR is full of unwatched programs and games
• Piles of dirty laundry
• No extra cash
• Sunburned face with a white outline where your sunglasses sit
• Gas tank never seems to get above 1/4 tank
• Vacations at work are for the week of the world series
• Batting cage in the back yard
• Batting cage on one side of the basement and a pitching lane and jugs net on the other half of the basement.
• You look forward to going back to work on Monday because you drove 300+ miles and played 8+ games Fri-Sun and are exhausted from the weekend
• You spend 3 hours of your "free time" using a red Sharpie to draw laces on 50 yellow Solo cups for your DD's team party
• You are thinking of moving so you can have a basement big enough for an indoor pitching lane.
• When your idea of a fine restaurant is a place that sells a hotdog with all the fixings (anything more than ketchup and mustard is close enough) and a walking taco to go with it.
• Someone asks you how old your daughters are and you say "I got an '02 and a '97".
• You no longer own clothes that don't have a team name on them.
• You know Easton bats by their model numbers even if your kid never swung one and you can tell the vintage of a Rocketech by the color.
• You look at the softballs Dicks Sporting goods sells and you know your kids would hate them because they would be "too mushy" in a few weeks.
• You know what OPS and ROE mean.
• You know that just because your kid put the ball in play 6 times out of 10 plate appearances does not mean she hit .600.
• You have skeptical views and make unusual criticisms of many lawn chairs.
• You have developed a preference for 7 gallon buckets over the commonly found but obviously inferior 5 gallon bucket.
• Optic yellow is now your favorite color and you think that red seam pin striping should go on everything.
• You don't need a GPS to give directions to every softball field within a 75 mile radius.
• Your dining room table is littered with old tourney and pool play brackets.
• Sunflower seeds are your snack of choice and only one brand will do.
• Your computer hard drive and phone are filled with movies of each at bat to analyze swing mechanics.
• MOI means so much more to you now than it did while actually taking Physics.
• You carry her baby brother around in a bucket
• You tell someone on Monday you watched your daughter play 6 games that weekend. They say "That must of sucked" and your only thought is "You're right, we should have won that semi-final game"
• When you run on to the field after that line drive hits your daughter <anywhere on the body> and her only two responses are: "Can you see the stitches" and "If I can stand up I can stay in ...Right?"
• You find sunflower seeds in the lint trap of your dryer.
• All of the hallway bathroom vanity drawers have headbands, ribbons, and bows hanging out and you can't close them
• When you need (insert anything you want here: car needs repair, kids need clothes, no food in the house, behind on bills) and you don't have the money, but somehow you can justify spending $300 on a new bat at the same time and feel good about it.
• Your girls have more jerseys than dresses…oh wait…then you realize your girls don’t own ANY dresses!
• When you just bought a commercial-grade top loading washing machine because you told the sales guy "I don't need steam wash and a zillion digital settings. I just need something that will move a lot of dirt"
• The section of her closet devoted to softball t-shirts, jerseys and the like has overrun everything else, leaving "non-softball" clothing shoved together into a small, sad, overlooked clump.
• The only makeup she owns is eye-black.
• You seriously consider prohibiting your daughter from playing ANYTHING at school during softball season.
• She breaks a finger and says, "Can't you just cut it off like that football player dude?"
• She has a disassembled Tanner tee in her school backpack.
• You can't name the teams left in the NBA\NHL playoffs but can list the teams going to super regional’s
• You have absolutely no idea what is going on in the world. The only thing that seems to matter is who are the other teams in your pool and whether you have a chance to get a good seed in bracket play. You might not know anything about problems in the Mideast, the Ukraine, and elsewhere, but by God you'll know if the Acme Thunder has a reliable number two starting pitcher.
• No matter what color the upholstery is in your car, the passenger seat is reddish brown
• When you pull into the parking lot at Home Depot and your first thought is to park somewhere to avoid foul balls. Sadly you realize there isn't a diamond nearby.
• You do get some odd looks at the sports bar when you ask if they can change the NBA game to the SEC Tournament and even more odd looks when you ask the guy at the next table if he know if Traina is going to start for ‘Bama that day.
• When the Fields you visit look better than your own yard.
When you go out to dinner and your daughter comes out with a tournament shirt on. You scold her and tell her to put something nicer on…she comes back wearing a t-shirt from nationals claiming that is a “dressy T”
• You can remember tournament dates and game high lights but struggle remembering your wedding anniversary
• You have never been late for a game but struggle to make it on time for date night with your spouse
• You believe that a walking Taco is in itself a food group
• You raise all kinds of hell about wasting money on excessive heat and cooling bills but wouldn’t blink at dropping 300 dollars on a new bat.
• If you spend 30 minutes deleting last year's kids birthday pics off the Ipad to make more room for Coach's Eye videos.
• At a kid's birthday party with a piñata, you are very proud that you resist the temptation to break out your daughter’s composite bat and go to town!
• If they've lost their bat in the couch...
• If her older brother doesn't want to play catch with her because she throws too hard.
• On "off" weekends, you have no idea what you're going to do with your time...so you grab your daughter and drive to the nearest tournament to check out some games.
• When your youngest daughter’s playing days are nearing their end and you are SERIOUSLY contemplating adopting a 7 year old so you can do it all over again!
My 12yo DD was invited to a boys birthday party at Jump Sky High. She is one of the pitchers on her 12U travel team and our
catcher was also invited, they go to school together. Out of the 10 kids that went they were the only 2 girls. This place has a
dodge ball area that is a trampoline floor. When the mom who hosted the party brought my DD home she said that 9 out of the
10 games they played it came down the the 2 girls in a face off ! All the boys would get knocked out first and just sit and
watch the 2 girls throw bullets at each other. The mom said "I did'nt know girls could throw that hard, the boys did'nt stand
a chance" !
catcher was also invited, they go to school together. Out of the 10 kids that went they were the only 2 girls. This place has a
dodge ball area that is a trampoline floor. When the mom who hosted the party brought my DD home she said that 9 out of the
10 games they played it came down the the 2 girls in a face off ! All the boys would get knocked out first and just sit and
watch the 2 girls throw bullets at each other. The mom said "I did'nt know girls could throw that hard, the boys did'nt stand
a chance" !
When you dont need a fake window decal
- Sep 27, 2012
- 17
- 0
You come home late from a night of drinking with your friends and tell your wife, "Your going to find this hard to believe, but we spent most of the time talking softball." Her response "I don't find that hard to believe at all, that's all you talk about here."
You have modified your Dinner Blessing to end with..
."....and Lord we thank thee for blessing our DD's with the ability to Turn the Barrel and pitch with I/R....AMEN!"
."....and Lord we thank thee for blessing our DD's with the ability to Turn the Barrel and pitch with I/R....AMEN!"
Similar threads
