You be the coach

[softballphreak]

I think I understand the desire to crack down on that slack outfielder, someone more special wants an outfield position.

 

[Momo'sDad]

He didn't sit her and I don't know what, if anything, he plans to say to her about effort. That's between the HC and his player. In fact, the entirety of the weekend is between the coach and his team, but I don't think I'm being unreasonable in what I'm asking here.

The young girl assigned to the catcher position is capable of making a decent throw to 1B, but isn't used to having to make that throw (she was P/1B for her team) or even seeing the throw made. We're one of those leagues that doesn't have a dropped 3rd-strike rule. Even if she had done it 1000 times, it's still just a throwing error. I do not nor do I believe in criticizing 10u players for errors. Making an error is not the same as not attempting to make the play. A kid can only make an error when they're trying.

We're seeking to build up our league. If the proposal for perpetual teams is approved this summer, that'll save all our coaches a great deal of time at the start of next season. Little-by-little, we think we'll see improvements in the strength of our league and in the overall quality of the program we're offering to the kids and their parents.

 

[GI Tom]

Firstly, I wouldn't pull her mid-inning, this is rec ball after all, All-Stars or not. Secondly, I don't know I would have pulled at half inning break either. I may have issued a warning to the entire team to get their collective heads in the game, etc, but that's about it based on the description. Sounds like the infield throwing error cost this more than the lack of the right fielder as SoCalDad points out.

Now, with that being said, there are absolutely several times I've seen girls pulled, mid-inning for boneheaded plays, these are usually at the Varsity HS level and travel ball level around here. Sometimes it's just necessary at higher levels of competitive play, and is usually more generally accepted. During our 18U Gold tournaments, no one thinks twice about it.

There are times it is appropriate to do this. This doesn't sound like one of them, but arguing that you should NEVER do this doesn't hold water in high level, competitive ball and you may be in for a rude awakening if you are not prepared for it.

 

[Momo'sDad]

I see the problem now. You say:

Better player? In whose eyes? Yours and the other dad's? Your opinion about other players on the team does not count (nor should it). It makes no difference what "the other dad" thought about the situation, right or wrong, at least from a coaches perspective. If you were looking at this from a coaches perspective, you would see that it makes no difference who is is RF when your team is being outplayed by a better team. Your kid, his kid, another kid - they are all the same kid with respect to the outcome of the game! They will all make errors, mental and physical, and the big picture is it doesn't matter to anyone except the parents on the sidelines that need something to complain about.

You are looking at it from the perspective of a parent who wants as much playing time for your DD and finds fault for the coach not immediately punishing a player for a "bad play" that your or someone else's DD "wouldn't have made". You want "fairness". It's not fair - he is the one giving his time to coach the team, he gets to decide, not you or the other dad complaining that his DD is on the bench. I promise you that next year when you coach you will have just as many parents on the sideline complaining under their collective breaths why you are playing so-and-so ahead of their DD, just the same as you are complaining now. You can't please everyone, and you shouldn't try to.

My daughter's mom was bitching at me, because our kid didn't start in the 1st game on Sunday. I told her it was HC's call. After Saturday's game, HC spoke privately with DD. When she came back over, Mom pressed her to reveal what they'd talked about. Not wanting to upset Mom, DD said that HC had told her she'd start the 1st game on Sunday.

Now, this is a matter for the other thread, but to add perspective: after a LONG day on Saturday, Mojo and her mom were going out to see a play with her cousins. I told kiddo that was fine, but 'no excess sugar'. So before bedtime, Mom gives her a milkshake.

That night, DD complains of being sick. Wakes me up at around 4am to tell me she still isn't feeling well. She ends up sleeping 'til 7am, without much improvement, but she wants to go anyway. She asks me what she should do and I told her she needed to let HC know during pregame she wasn't feeling 100%. Once she reports to her team, the only thing she gets from me is a reminder to keep drinking water and to hustle.

My kid did not start, but came in late and was HBP in the 1st game. She took her base and after the game, she was holding back the tears, but really hurting into the lunch break.

Mom is mad at HC (and me) that the kid didn't start 'as promised'. Did the late-night milkshake make DD sick? More than likely. Did HC or I have anything to do with that? During the day, I told Mom that whatever was decided was between DD and her HC. It had nothing to do with either one of us. I've taught DD to be confident and to own her decisions. She's capable of taking care of business when she gets to the ball field.

I'm not one bit concerned about her playing time. Everyone saw action during pool play on Saturday, and DD got in, made a couple of plays, stole home with straight hustle, and earned a starting role for Sunday.

I didn't have a single problem with my rec parents, because I managed them from Day One and made sure it was clear that their happiness was not my concern. My fall and next spring teams will be handled the same, and if I'm the 10u A-S coach in 2013, yes, things will be the same. The players will know their positions, and they'll know who is ahead of them on the chart. Want to move up in the lineup? Then that's who you've got to beat out for that position.

Like I said, though, I don't have any relationships to worry about, so I'm able to operate with, well, impunity, which might actually make me a LESS popular coach with some people. lol

I'm speaking as a coach, not as a parent.

 

[starsnuffer]

It's not your wife's fault for giving your daughter a shake, she's being mom. Your daughter is old enough to say no.

Don't let softball come between your marriage. Don't try to rationalize softball to your wife, she doesn't care, she's trying to be a good mom. Even at the highest level, softball is a game, don't get too wrapped up in it and learn to shrug off the small stuff. Focus on what you can change and what you have control over, and learn to let the rest happen as it may.

-W

 

[joemcq51]

We're seeking to build up our league. If the proposal for perpetual teams is approved this summer, that'll save all our coaches a great deal of time at the start of next season. Little-by-little, we think we'll see improvements in the strength of our league and in the overall quality of the program we're offering to the kids and their parents.

If you are trying to build the league, I am not sure taking out a 10YOA right fielder is the correct approach. I have seen girls yanked mid inning. Just not at a local alphabet tournament. I saw a 12U girl pulled in a national tournament after an error. Coach talked to her, and put her back in next inning. I guess it really comes down to how the coach handles the error. I personally wouldn't pull a kid mid inning. Especially not at that age. If you are going to coach in a few years, you will learn how you handle situations as they come up. There really is no way of practicing for them. Just try and treat the girls with respect. After all, they are the reason we are all out here.

 

[softballphreak]

The difference between pulling a 10 year old and a 16 year old in the middle of an inning is big. The 10 year old will probably take it personally and be affected negatively. She may be even worse for the experience when she goes back in. The 16 year old will be experienced and mature enough to understand why she was pulled and the results may be positive. She may learn from it and be better when she goes back in.

Coddling and humiliating are two extremes! Neither one is productive in the long run.

 

[Momo'sDad]

It's not your wife's fault for giving your daughter a shake, she's being mom. Your daughter is old enough to say no.

Don't let softball come between your marriage. Don't try to rationalize softball to your wife, she doesn't care, she's trying to be a good mom. Even at the highest level, softball is a game, don't get too wrapped up in it and learn to shrug off the small stuff. Focus on what you can change and what you have control over, and learn to let the rest happen as it may.

Fair call. Although no one wants to see their kid sick, it did teach her a valuable lesson. It's a mistake she's unlikely to ever make again.

You're right on the 2nd part, too. I'm caught up in trying to get her to understand things from a competitive sports' perspective, because there's a likelihood our daughter will be involved in some team sport for some years to come. She can't handle our 8yo DD not being a starting infielder on a team of 10yo's, but thankfully, DD totally understands her role on this team and how she can make herself more valuable to her team, which her coach has already seen and rewarded. I hope Mom can gain an appreciation for how it works.

 

[Momo'sDad]

If you are trying to build the league, I am not sure taking out a 10YOA right fielder is the correct approach. I have seen girls yanked mid inning. Just not at a local alphabet tournament. I saw a 12U girl pulled in a national tournament after an error. Coach talked to her, and put her back in next inning. I guess it really comes down to how the coach handles the error. I personally wouldn't pull a kid mid inning. Especially not at that age. If you are going to coach in a few years, you will learn how you handle situations as they come up. There really is no way of practicing for them. Just try and treat the girls with respect. After all, they are the reason we are all out here.

That's the reason I ask questions. I want to learn more about the rules of the game and also about the management of the game and its players. HC did not overreact in that situation and I probably would have. But, having read the opinions expressed here, I'm less likely to do so if and when a similar scenario presents itself down the road.

 

[Momo'sDad]

Number 1: Did someone teach the rightfielder to back up first? Did someone remind her? Had she been not moving for several plays? That is on both the player--and the coach for not speaking up sooner!
You do have to teach and remind first before yanking a little kid.

Yes, it is a softball tradition even way up in ages not to yank anyone for anything except breaking the rules and debilitating fatigue, maybe 3 times in an inning making the same mental mistake or errors. I don't always agree with that, but whatever the issue is, we most often handle it by yanking after at least, the half-inning is done.

It's not her normal position, that is correct. But, every player knows to be moving somewhere on every play.

I'll make an effort to recall this thread and exercise constraint when it comes up with me on the bucket.