Worst player on the team. How do you deal?

[CoogansBluff]

Is she a weak player, or simply one of the weaker players on a strong team?

I guess we're about to find out. She's not a weak player in the grand scheme of softball, but she might be a weak player at this level at this particular time. But, we'll see. She might rise to the occasion this summer.

Good point about roles. Funny thing is that she's typically been viewed as a good hitter and average fielder on past teams. But lately, she's worked hard on her fielding and she's holding her own in practice as an outfielder. Her glove and ball-tracking skills are on par if not actually above average on the team. The other OF's are faster (DD isn't slow, but these girls are really fast.) But, her hitting hasn't been great lately (had disappointing HS season, which is never good for your confidence), and she's unproven at this level as a hitter. So she commented the other day that she just hoped she played the field well in our first tournament, which is this weekend. I said why? She said that's the one thing where she believes measure up. She wants to keep that life raft.

 

[Strike2]

I guess we're about to find out. She's not a weak player in the grand scheme of softball, but she might be a weak player at this level at this particular time. But, we'll see. She might rise to the occasion this summer.

Good point about roles. Funny thing is that she's typically been viewed as a good hitter and average fielder on past teams. But lately, she's worked hard on her fielding and she's holding her own in practice as an outfielder. Her glove and ball-tracking skills are on par if not actually above average on the team. The other OF's are faster (DD isn't slow, but these girls are really fast.) But, her hitting hasn't been great lately (had disappointing HS season, which is never good for your confidence), and she's unproven at this level as a hitter. So she commented the other day that she just hoped she played the field well in our first tournament, which is this weekend. I said why? She said that's the one thing where she believes measure up. She wants to keep that life raft.

As I said, there is a difference between a weak player and a weaker player on a strong team.

Really fast isn't of much use if your judgement sucks and/or you can't catch. A big arm is a liability if the ball isn't on target.

If she's been a good hitter, there may be a learning curve, but that will show up eventually. If her judgement and glove skills are evident in practice, that is likely to show up immediately. Don't try too hard either place. Make contact instead of swinging for the big hit. Catch what you can get to, but don't turn a single into a triple trying for that ESPN Sport Center moment.

 

[grcsftbll]

Really fast isn't of much use if your judgement sucks and/or you can't catch. A big arm is a liability if the ball isn't on target.

So true. We've got a player with a wicked bunt who's very fast. She got a homerun on a bunt this weekend thanks to an overthrow that went all the way to the left field fence. Whoopsie.

Tell your dd random internet stranger (me) thinks what she's doing is brave and I think if she works hard she'll catch up in no time.

 

[RichK]

Tell your dd random internet stranger (me) thinks what she's doing is brave and I think if she works hard she'll catch up in no time.

 

[BobInMadison]

I can't give any good advice. My DD 1 was the weakest player on a 16u team. She had only been playing a couple of years, she was still 14u, and the youngest player on the team. The coaches knew she was the weakest player, but they also knew she had a lot of talent, and they encouraged her to work on it.

Unfortunately, she got really down on herself, complaining that "I suck". She was never able to see herself the way others saw her, as a player with a lot of potential who was really improving quickly. She played in one fall tourney and quit in December. Never went back to TB again, and quit softball completely after her first HS season.

The secret is to have your DD see herself the way the coaches who chose her for the team see her. That is not easy, and I don't know how to do it.

 

[JJS]

I can't give any good advice. My DD 1 was the weakest player on a 16u team. She had only been playing a couple of years, she was still 14u, and the youngest player on the team. The coaches knew she was the weakest player, but they also knew she had a lot of talent, and they encouraged her to work on it.

Unfortunately, she got really down on herself, complaining that "I suck". She was never able to see herself the way others saw her, as a player with a lot of potential who was really improving quickly. She played in one fall tourney and quit in December. Never went back to TB again, and quit softball completely after her first HS season.

The secret is to have your DD see herself the way the coaches who chose her for the team see her. That is not easy, and I don't know how to do it.

I'd rather my DD neither be the best nor the worst on a given team. It is not always about "playing up". Sometimes playing up just crushes a girl's confidence. I am personally very leery on playing up. I'd rather wait a season too long than move a season too quickly.

Bob, thank you for letting us hear and learn from your experiences. It is unfortunate that someone had to go through this so that the rest of us could benefit from the experience.

 

[CoogansBluff]

I can't give any good advice. My DD 1 was the weakest player on a 16u team. She had only been playing a couple of years, she was still 14u, and the youngest player on the team. The coaches knew she was the weakest player, but they also knew she had a lot of talent, and they encouraged her to work on it.

Unfortunately, she got really down on herself, complaining that "I suck". She was never able to see herself the way others saw her, as a player with a lot of potential who was really improving quickly. She played in one fall tourney and quit in December. Never went back to TB again, and quit softball completely after her first HS season.

The secret is to have your DD see herself the way the coaches who chose her for the team see her. That is not easy, and I don't know how to do it.

I appreciate your adding some realism to this. Teenagers are not the best at seeing themselves realistically. Thinking you are good at something is a big asset to have long-term. You have to be careful with it.

 

[OutInLeft]

You stated earlier that your daughter can hang easily with any of those girls on the team in the field. Sounds like shes just lacking confidence at the plate. Very similar to my daughter. She's an awesome first base player but that confidence she has never transfered to the bat. Hitting is an attitude. She needs to stay positive and the hits will come. She cant go up to the plate doubting herself. A little belief will go a long way and erase those feelings she has. Its one thing to accept your role its another to say Im going to work harder and better myself. The light finally came on in my daughters head and now shes on fire. Shes going up there and crushing it with an attitude against A pitching. Stay positive! Im sure yours can too. Things can change in an instant in softball all she needs it a little spark and some self confidence!

 

[JAD]

When DD was coming up through the age groups and we were striving to play a higher level of ball (started as a C-level all star team), the coaching staff would try to "churn" the bottom 1/4 of our roster during tryouts to improve the team. Once we reached high A-level ball (16U) we were not as concerned with the churn, and we expanded our roster from 12 to 14, so carrying a development player was not as big of a concern as long as the player and her parents had realistic expectations on the situation.

 

[BobInMadison]

I'd rather my DD neither be the best nor the worst on a given team. It is not always about "playing up". Sometimes playing up just crushes a girl's confidence. I am personally very leery on playing up. I'd rather wait a season too long than move a season too quickly.

Bob, thank you for letting us hear and learn from your experiences. It is unfortunate that someone had to go through this so that the rest of us could benefit from the experience.

Part of it is this particular coach had been her coach in some LL teams, so we knew DD 1 could learn a LOT from him. We thought having a great coach could make up for the problems. Also, this coach has been known to see some talented girls as projects for him to mold into really good players. He's had more success with other girls, including DD 3.

Learning to listen to your kid is an important lesson. One coach told me he really damaged his relationships with his sons trying to push them too hard with baseball.

Even though coaches told me DD 1 had tremendous softball talent, the best thing for her, and my relationship with her, was to let her walk away first from that team, and then from softball altogether. DD 1 told me the only thing she enjoyed about softball was stealing bases.

There were two things that helped repair my relationship with DD 1. First was teaching her how to drive, and being very patient with her. The second was when she got interested in medical fields. I have a PhD in organic chemistry (which it pretty much useless to me now), so when she took an honors chemistry class in HS, helping her with her homework was a great way for us to bond. She starts college in the fall, so there are a few classes, esp. first year chemistry and organic chemistry, where I can be a big help to her.