Coach was 100% right to bench player. Actually shows something by benching one of the best players. I was wondering how many coaches would have done that. Don't know why I thought of this, but back in the day when Jimmy Johnson was coaching the Cowboys(I am from Philly and hate the Cowboys), he had a completely different take on this subject. He openly stated that there are different rules for the star players. He claimed if Troy Aikman or Emmitt Smith were late to a meeting or practice it was ok. If a bench player was late to a practice or meeting, they would be cleaning out their lockers. For the record, I am in no way endorsing the "star" treatment. I applaud the coach for his actions. Has anyone ever played on a team that openly treated the better players with a different set of rules? Just wondering.
'' who is right or wrong here coach or parent ''
- Thread starter justwannaplay
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Yep. Long time ago in HS. Our Pitcher was really good, but was not well liked on the field or in the class room. Why? Becuase he was a spoiled rotten rich kid who didn't hesitate to tell you or show off his toys. Coach was in fathers back pocket. My junior year i was fed up with the bad attitude so i spoke with the other 7 starting players and we decided during a big rivalry game we wouldn't field a ball. We just let balls drop and/or go through our legs. After they scored a boat load of runs, we made the plays and got 3 outs. i entered the dugout and the coach jumped me ( i was ss and team Captain) i said i guess the pitcher can't do it himself, he needs us..My point got across. The boys father was in ths stands flipping out.
Edit to add....My dad was really pissed at my actions and i paid for it dearly. I learned a valuable lesson that day. Not what a captain should have done.
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Just from what the dad is reported to have said, I conclude that he is a bully. He didn't even speak to the coach. He sent his wife.
Evidently, the girl can't drive, so she was punished for the dad's attitude.
All a parent has to do is call me. Or e-mail. Tell me that they are cutting it close. "Ok, she can't start because she missed warm ups." Don't tell me "She is coming from soccer, etc." Tell me if you had a dead battery or whatever. Some excuses are legitimate.
But, it does sound like she was late more than once, with no excuse.
Evidently, the girl can't drive, so she was punished for the dad's attitude.
All a parent has to do is call me. Or e-mail. Tell me that they are cutting it close. "Ok, she can't start because she missed warm ups." Don't tell me "She is coming from soccer, etc." Tell me if you had a dead battery or whatever. Some excuses are legitimate.
But, it does sound like she was late more than once, with no excuse.
- Jul 26, 2010
- 3,553
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If the coach had made the rules clear and disciplined tardiness to games and practices in the past with a clear explanation for the discipline, I have a feeling that the parents wouldn't have freaked out. HOWEVER, it seems the parents are diva's to think that their kid is going to play every game, irregardless of if she's late or not or how good she is (or how good they think she is).
Our girls do 1 pushup for every minute that they are late. Our coaches have the same rule. If a player is more then 10 minutes late to warmups at a tournament without letting me know, I will scratch her from the lineup. If I'd only have one sub, she wouldn't get to play at all (so the courtesy runner rule applies to the last out). If a player misses a practice without letting me know, she will not play the first game (she will be sub), no matter how good she is.
I've a feeling that if either party knew how to communicate with other human beings, this fiasco could be avoided. Hopefully someone learned something.
I know that it's hard sometimes to punish kids for what their parents do. I have one player who is ALWAYS a few minutes late. I know it's probably not her fault (though who knows, maybe she always looses her socks), but she always does pushups. Rules are rules. It's not being mean, it's being fair, and it's preparing them for the game of life.
-W
Our girls do 1 pushup for every minute that they are late. Our coaches have the same rule. If a player is more then 10 minutes late to warmups at a tournament without letting me know, I will scratch her from the lineup. If I'd only have one sub, she wouldn't get to play at all (so the courtesy runner rule applies to the last out). If a player misses a practice without letting me know, she will not play the first game (she will be sub), no matter how good she is.
I've a feeling that if either party knew how to communicate with other human beings, this fiasco could be avoided. Hopefully someone learned something.
I know that it's hard sometimes to punish kids for what their parents do. I have one player who is ALWAYS a few minutes late. I know it's probably not her fault (though who knows, maybe she always looses her socks), but she always does pushups. Rules are rules. It's not being mean, it's being fair, and it's preparing them for the game of life.
-W
- Apr 8, 2010
- 96
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Ladies and Gents
Thanks for all the replys and comments it was very helpful. Seems like its 85% in favor of the coach. I was very embarrased when it happened I did feel bad for the girl. She got punished because her daddys ego got hurt and now she may be looking for a new team . Yes its 14U and she doesnt drive herself.....
But I agree the coach had to send a message , My DD said after the second game was over the coach took all the girls to the outfield and explained what had happened and asked them " If player X is late to practices and games but I play her and sit you do you think thats fair ? and they all answered NO!!!!
JWP
Thanks for all the replys and comments it was very helpful. Seems like its 85% in favor of the coach. I was very embarrased when it happened I did feel bad for the girl. She got punished because her daddys ego got hurt and now she may be looking for a new team . Yes its 14U and she doesnt drive herself.....
But I agree the coach had to send a message , My DD said after the second game was over the coach took all the girls to the outfield and explained what had happened and asked them " If player X is late to practices and games but I play her and sit you do you think thats fair ? and they all answered NO!!!!
JWP
- Dec 28, 2008
- 386
- 0
Everyone.
Coach - Should set expectations up front before the season ever gets started. "If you are late ... you ride the bench. PERIOD! End of story!" That way parents should have known ahead of time what the results would be for their actions. They should have long since addressed the issue with the parents "Why do you keep forcing me to sit Sally-Sue by showing up late?" "Will this be continuing all season or should we just part ways now so that you can find a team where you can show up whenever you want?" Alternatively they could take a nice route like "It's hard to miss the fact that Sally-Sue is ALWAYS late ... Becky lives very close to you and her mom has volunteered to swing by and pick up Sally-Sue would you mind her doing that so that we can help you have an extra hour in your day?
Parents - Chronic lateness implies one of three things: Complete lack of discipline on their part OR Superiority complex that they want to be in charge of the situation and that time coach sets means nothing to them. Neither of those is usually resolvable by 1 coach. Lastly it could be that the child doesn't really want to be there so parents are ready to go and player isn't dressed, can't find bat, shoes, bag, hair isn't brushed etc.
Other families - Politics aside ... Hillary Clinton had it entirely correct "It takes a community to raise a child." When people see a player that is struggling, even if it is imposed by parents, they should step up and offer to help." "Hey Sue I know you have 18 other kids and it must really be rough trying to get everyone together and in toe for all of our practices and games. We'd be happy to help out by swinging by to pick up your DD for the practices and the games." Not sure if that happened and the family refused or what.
Player - She could have just talked to the coach ahead of time. "Coach my parents are late for everything. I start jumping up and down 2 hours before we have to leave begging my mom to get ready but she just sits on the couch and watches Housewives of Timbuktu. I promise you I'm doing my stretches on my own and am doing tee-work in my garage. If there is ever a game I really won't be at I will text you."
The real problem becomes when this "pissing contest" between the parents and coaches (and any authority) only serves to punish the children. That girl will likely be carrying that baggage for the rest of her lifetime. All because adults don't have the common sense/desire/ability to just "talk it out" and try to come to a resolution that helps the player. Instead it has to come to things like this.
Coach - Should set expectations up front before the season ever gets started. "If you are late ... you ride the bench. PERIOD! End of story!" That way parents should have known ahead of time what the results would be for their actions. They should have long since addressed the issue with the parents "Why do you keep forcing me to sit Sally-Sue by showing up late?" "Will this be continuing all season or should we just part ways now so that you can find a team where you can show up whenever you want?" Alternatively they could take a nice route like "It's hard to miss the fact that Sally-Sue is ALWAYS late ... Becky lives very close to you and her mom has volunteered to swing by and pick up Sally-Sue would you mind her doing that so that we can help you have an extra hour in your day?
Parents - Chronic lateness implies one of three things: Complete lack of discipline on their part OR Superiority complex that they want to be in charge of the situation and that time coach sets means nothing to them. Neither of those is usually resolvable by 1 coach. Lastly it could be that the child doesn't really want to be there so parents are ready to go and player isn't dressed, can't find bat, shoes, bag, hair isn't brushed etc.
Other families - Politics aside ... Hillary Clinton had it entirely correct "It takes a community to raise a child." When people see a player that is struggling, even if it is imposed by parents, they should step up and offer to help." "Hey Sue I know you have 18 other kids and it must really be rough trying to get everyone together and in toe for all of our practices and games. We'd be happy to help out by swinging by to pick up your DD for the practices and the games." Not sure if that happened and the family refused or what.
Player - She could have just talked to the coach ahead of time. "Coach my parents are late for everything. I start jumping up and down 2 hours before we have to leave begging my mom to get ready but she just sits on the couch and watches Housewives of Timbuktu. I promise you I'm doing my stretches on my own and am doing tee-work in my garage. If there is ever a game I really won't be at I will text you."
The real problem becomes when this "pissing contest" between the parents and coaches (and any authority) only serves to punish the children. That girl will likely be carrying that baggage for the rest of her lifetime. All because adults don't have the common sense/desire/ability to just "talk it out" and try to come to a resolution that helps the player. Instead it has to come to things like this.
I am friends with a parent like that. Her daughter is a excellent player...I will give her that. BUT...this parent thinks and has told me that because her daughter is so good, she doesn't NEED to go to every practice. The other girls need the practice, but her daughter should be exempt and only go when she wants to.
I have not told her this because she is the type that just has the blinders on and will not see your point. But, in my opinion....I don't care HOW good your DD is. If she is part of a team and there is a practice called...nothing should keep her from being there (except, of course, a sickness, studying for a test, etc....which should be discussed with the coach).
It is so bad that...although we are friends (off the field, she is a great person and would do anything for you).......I refuse to allow my DD to play on any team with her. This parent thinks that her DD has to be the star, the center. She even got po'd once because they dared to bat her daughter in the lower part of the line up. I mean...come on....grow up.
The kid doesn't go to practices, she can't be counted on......there should be no complaints if she sits the bench or where she bats.
The point I'm trying to make is that some parents have the rose colored glasses on and expect the world to bend over backwards because their kid is a good player.
I have not told her this because she is the type that just has the blinders on and will not see your point. But, in my opinion....I don't care HOW good your DD is. If she is part of a team and there is a practice called...nothing should keep her from being there (except, of course, a sickness, studying for a test, etc....which should be discussed with the coach).
It is so bad that...although we are friends (off the field, she is a great person and would do anything for you).......I refuse to allow my DD to play on any team with her. This parent thinks that her DD has to be the star, the center. She even got po'd once because they dared to bat her daughter in the lower part of the line up. I mean...come on....grow up.
The kid doesn't go to practices, she can't be counted on......there should be no complaints if she sits the bench or where she bats.
The point I'm trying to make is that some parents have the rose colored glasses on and expect the world to bend over backwards because their kid is a good player.
There are parents who think the world should bend over backwards for their kid, regardless if she is a good player or not.
Funny about players who are so good that they don't need to go to practice like the other girls. The family's lawn must be in pretty bad shape from all those Top 25 D1 coaches beating down a path to their door. Because if you're so good you don't need to practice that's what should be happening.
Seriously, great players are the ones who practice the most. That's a documented fact. They do it because they're never satisfied with where they are. They always want to get better. Sounds like that mom has a lot to learn, and a lot of growing up to do.
Seriously, great players are the ones who practice the most. That's a documented fact. They do it because they're never satisfied with where they are. They always want to get better. Sounds like that mom has a lot to learn, and a lot of growing up to do.
10-14 yo girls have no control over when their parents will get them to the field. Most teams Ive been associated with have had parents that are willing to pick up girls and give them a ride to ensure puncuality. What a young girl does have control over is what she does when her parents get to the parking lot. I see a big difference between the girl that stops at another field to say hi to her friends, picks up a soda at the snack shack, and meanders over to the dugout, ties up her hair and puts on her cleats and the girl that has her cleats on, bags over her shoulder and is running from the car to the field as fas as she can. Obviously, niether should play until they have had time to warm up, but discipline should be awarded by the girls behavior, not their parents.
