When to leave????

[JoeBob]

I've read through a lot of different posts on here and thank you all for having a great and safe (pun intended) place to discuss ideas and experiences.

As you all know being in the travel softball world is a universe unto it's own. My DD has been playing for the same general team for 3 years now. The first year she played 10U and the majority of the team was also new to travel so it was a complete losing year. The next year at 12u was a mixed bag of W's & L's and the team took on quite a few players that aged out at the end of last year. There were several times we questioned the HC's game time decisions and the teams complete inability to hit the ball. I could go into all kinds of details but I won't bore you with that.

So this year we listened to the coach who said she picked up some good pitching talent in the try-outs and we stayed with the team. (4) of the players carried over from the previous year, our DD was the 5th. So it was mostly a new team with 5 players having played travel ball before and 7 were brand new. We have no pitching, no batting, we have girls afraid of the ball and have a losing record from the fall and we don't see that changing in the spring/summer. We try not to be critical of the coaching but the team has spent 2hrs on the past 6 Sunday's having players pitch to other players as batting practice. But none of the girls who pitch for our team can throw strikes. Then the coach says if the batter makes contact, even a foul it's on to the next batter. Our DD is probably top 3 if not #1 on team and I don't say that lightly. She still has a long way to go but she's floundering on this team. The practices are almost worthless for her. We don't see any progression with the team and the HC's daughter is a mental drain on the team. Our DD loves Softball and loves playing and winning but she's recently started to ask if she has to go to practice. I don't want to go into specifics but in the fall after pool play the team went back to the hotel and a few of the parents agreed to allow their kids to do a certain activity in the hotel. When the AC found out they were told that they didn't check with the AC and that they had to stop and the whole team had to go do exercises outside.

We are struggling with what to do for our daughter. I feel like all the losing, the poor coaching, the and the mommy/daughter ball, is starting to ruin the fun for her. We've been contemplating leaving, she will probably make the school team and there are a few teams who have asked her to guest play as well.

I'm 1/2 venting and 1/2 looking for advice. Any similar experiences of being on a dead end team?

 

[LEsoftballdad]

I've read through a lot of different posts on here and thank you all for having a great and safe (pun intended) place to discuss ideas and experiences.

As you all know being in the travel softball world is a universe unto it's own. My DD has been playing for the same general team for 3 years now. The first year she played 10U and the majority of the team was also new to travel so it was a complete losing year. The next year at 12u was a mixed bag of W's & L's and the team took on quite a few players that aged out at the end of last year. There were several times we questioned the HC's game time decisions and the teams complete inability to hit the ball. I could go into all kinds of details but I won't bore you with that.

So this year we listened to the coach who said she picked up some good pitching talent in the try-outs and we stayed with the team. (4) of the players carried over from the previous year, our DD was the 5th. So it was mostly a new team with 5 players having played travel ball before and 7 were brand new. We have no pitching, no batting, we have girls afraid of the ball and have a losing record from the fall and we don't see that changing in the spring/summer. We try not to be critical of the coaching but the team has spent 2hrs on the past 6 Sunday's having players pitch to other players as batting practice. But none of the girls who pitch for our team can throw strikes. Then the coach says if the batter makes contact, even a foul it's on to the next batter. Our DD is probably top 3 if not #1 on team and I don't say that lightly. She still has a long way to go but she's floundering on this team. The practices are almost worthless for her. We don't see any progression with the team and the HC's daughter is a mental drain on the team. Our DD loves Softball and loves playing and winning but she's recently started to ask if she has to go to practice. I don't want to go into specifics but in the fall after pool play the team went back to the hotel and a few of the parents agreed to allow their kids to do a certain activity in the hotel. When the AC found out they were told that they didn't check with the AC and that they had to stop and the whole team had to go do exercises outside.

We are struggling with what to do for our daughter. I feel like all the losing, the poor coaching, the and the mommy/daughter ball, is starting to ruin the fun for her. We've been contemplating leaving, she will probably make the school team and there are a few teams who have asked her to guest play as well.

I'm 1/2 venting and 1/2 looking for advice. Any similar experiences of being on a dead end team?

It's best to cut bait now and find a team that will keep your daughter interested and allow her to progress. When kids start not going to practices, it's a terrible sign of their interest in the game. Unfortunately, what you are experiencing is not uncommon. You will see this happen as girls separate from rec ball to true travel ballplayers, and that's perfectly fine. The competitive world of travel softball isn't for everyone, but it also doesn't mean those people can't keep playing the game just because they don't want to play high-level travel ball.

 

[JoeBob]

It's best to cut bait now and find a team that will keep your daughter interested and allow her to progress. When kids start not going to practices, it's a terrible sign of their interest in the game. Unfortunately, what you are experiencing is not uncommon. You will see this happen as girls separate from rec ball to true travel ballplayers, and that's perfectly fine. The competitive world of travel softball isn't for everyone, but it also doesn't mean those people can't keep playing the game just because they don't want to play high-level travel ball.

Wow, thanks I appreciate that advice. She hasn't skipped any practices but for the first time since she started playing she actually asked if she could skip practice because she said she's not getting anything out of it. I feel bad... my wife and I are kinda stuck trying to figure this out because it will send shockwaves if we leave.

 

[LEsoftballdad]

Wow, thanks I appreciate that advice. She hasn't skipped any practices but for the first time since she started playing she actually asked if she could skip practice because she said she's not getting anything out of it. I feel bad... my wife and I are kinda stuck trying to figure this out because it will send shockwaves if we leave.

Look, there are a lot of people who are claiming what you're doing will hurt the team or that you're being selfish. My response would be, well yes, I am being selfish about my daughter. I learned a long time ago that you will make a lot of friends and lose a lot of friends in softball. The biggest thing to make sure of is to not personalize it too much. You have to do what's best for your daughter, not everyone else's children. I will assure you more than 35% of the girls on the current team won't even be playing travel ball by the time they reach 16U, so you cannot worry about them. Your daughter should always come first.

 

[JoeBob]

Look, there are a lot of people who are claiming what you're doing will hurt the team or that you're being selfish. My response would be, well yes, I am being selfish about my daughter. I learned a long time ago that you will make a lot of friends and lose a lot of friends in softball. The biggest thing to make sure of is to not personalize it too much. You have to do what's best for your daughter, not everyone else's children. I will assure you more than 35% of the girls on the current team won't even be playing travel ball by the time they reach 16U, so you cannot worry about them. Your daughter should always come first.

We've discussed that exact issue and generally we are ok with it. I guess we're just kinda worried about our daughter finding a different team.

 

[GunnerShotgun]

I don't want to go into specifics but in the fall after pool play the team went back to the hotel and a few of the parents agreed to allow their kids to do a certain activity in the hotel. When the AC found out they were told that they didn't check with the AC and that they had to stop and the whole team had to go do exercises outside.

Yeah I am not a fan of using exercise as a punishment in softball. Also the AC has no role outside of game/practice.

Go find a new team but do your homework as half of the burden falls to you. Go to the practices, talk to other players, look at their games on Game Changer, etc.

 

[soonerfan1966]

Looks like your daughter answered the question for you.

 

[Catdad]

I understand your frustration. My DD first travel team never practiced live pitching (or machine pitching for that matter). All practices were 95% defense and then coach pitching to the girls. They were woefully under prepared for 50 mph pitching from 35 feet. It was embarrassing quite frankly.
We came to the team early mid season and there was good chemistry among the girls so I didn’t say anything or pull her. We didn’t pay much to be on the team because of fundraising. She aged out of 10u and on to better things.
I made her not even want to hit. I got a pitching machine and took care of that end myself. Now she’s coming along.
I would personally say start playing pick up for other teams on off weekends and find a good fit before you make a jump. And be prepared for dirty looks from the old team coaches and parents when you see them at tournaments

 

[JoeBob]

Go find a new team but do your homework as half of the burden falls to you. Go to the practices, talk to other players, look at their games on Game Changer, etc.

We have been... we have been..... I guess it's time....

 

[JoeBob]

And be prepared for dirty looks from the old team coaches and parents when you see them at tournaments

It's weird but that is definitely one of the things we've worried about. It's a very small group locally.

In the end I just want my daughter to have fun.