When to leave????

[Catdad]

We played a former team of one of my girls teammates this past weekend. I saw the looks and I could see why she left. I’m learning how small the softball world really is

 

[Rick M]

A handy rule of thumb is that if you’ve gotten to the point of asking on DFP if it’s time to leave, then it’s time to leave.

I will say, however, that you may need to temper your expectations if you’re in softball for the long haul. You may be frustrated that the team can’t hit or pitch, but expecting the coach to fix that for 12 players in two 120-minute practices a week is unrealistic.

Advanced players get better on their own time, doing tee work every day or throwing three or four times a week. A good coach can give constructive feedback, but the player has to put it into practice and devote time outside of the formal team practices to actually get better. If you’re on a team with seven newcomers, they probably don’t get that.

Also, you probably hear a loud ticking clock in your head, but your daughter has a lot of softball ahead of her. If leaving this team would ruin some relationships that she values, sticking it out until July won’t wreck her future prospects.


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[JoeBob]

A handy rule of thumb is that if you’ve gotten to the point of asking on DFP if it’s time to leave, then it’s time to leave.

I will say, however, that you may need to temper your expectations if you’re in softball for the long haul. You may be frustrated that the team can’t hit or pitch, but expecting the coach to fix that for 12 players in two 120-minute practices a week is unrealistic.

Advanced players get better on their own time, doing tee work every day or throwing three or four times a week. A good coach can give constructive feedback, but the player has to put it into practice and devote time outside of the formal team practices to actually get better. If you’re on a team with seven newcomers, they probably don’t get that.

Also, you probably hear a loud ticking clock in your head, but your daughter has a lot of softball ahead of her. If leaving this team would ruin some relationships that she values, sticking it out until July won’t wreck her future prospects.


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Thanks Rick, I understand all your points. I don't have a ticking timer in my head, but my other 1/2 is a different story.
I also understand about the HC not being a batting coach however the original team last year started with some great hitter and during the year of coaching by the HC lost their swings. It was weird and apparent. Though that is definitely the least of our concerns.

 

[Shiloh]

I've read through a lot of different posts on here and thank you all for having a great and safe (pun intended) place to discuss ideas and experiences.

As you all know being in the travel softball world is a universe unto it's own. My DD has been playing for the same general team for 3 years now. The first year she played 10U and the majority of the team was also new to travel so it was a complete losing year. The next year at 12u was a mixed bag of W's & L's and the team took on quite a few players that aged out at the end of last year. There were several times we questioned the HC's game time decisions and the teams complete inability to hit the ball. I could go into all kinds of details but I won't bore you with that.

So this year we listened to the coach who said she picked up some good pitching talent in the try-outs and we stayed with the team. (4) of the players carried over from the previous year, our DD was the 5th. So it was mostly a new team with 5 players having played travel ball before and 7 were brand new. We have no pitching, no batting, we have girls afraid of the ball and have a losing record from the fall and we don't see that changing in the spring/summer. We try not to be critical of the coaching but the team has spent 2hrs on the past 6 Sunday's having players pitch to other players as batting practice. But none of the girls who pitch for our team can throw strikes. Then the coach says if the batter makes contact, even a foul it's on to the next batter. Our DD is probably top 3 if not #1 on team and I don't say that lightly. She still has a long way to go but she's floundering on this team. The practices are almost worthless for her. We don't see any progression with the team and the HC's daughter is a mental drain on the team. Our DD loves Softball and loves playing and winning but she's recently started to ask if she has to go to practice. I don't want to go into specifics but in the fall after pool play the team went back to the hotel and a few of the parents agreed to allow their kids to do a certain activity in the hotel. When the AC found out they were told that they didn't check with the AC and that they had to stop and the whole team had to go do exercises outside.

We are struggling with what to do for our daughter. I feel like all the losing, the poor coaching, the and the mommy/daughter ball, is starting to ruin the fun for her. We've been contemplating leaving, she will probably make the school team and there are a few teams who have asked her to guest play as well.

I'm 1/2 venting and 1/2 looking for advice. Any similar experiences of being on a dead end team?

You haven't cited a single reason to stay.

So I think you've answered your own question.

 

[_MIA_]

Does she not get along with the kids on the team? I only ask because my DD has endured some lousy practices in her life (rec, 1st TB team she was on, her current MS team) but never didn’t to want to go to practice probably because she (for the most part) enjoyed being around her teammates.

Not that it matters, if she is not enjoying herself at 13(?) YO that is a problem.

 

[Strike2]

If you've only got a couple of practices per week, most of that should be defense. No one will become a good hitter relying only on team BP. Some team BP is fine, but I look at it as more of a gauge to see who is working on their own. The most efficient team BP is station work including T, soft/front toss, and machine. It's fine to occasionally get some live ABs, but it should be as much about giving the pitchers some live batter experience.

If your kid isn't improving at this age on this team, time to look elsewhere. It's miserable losing all the time, even as a guest player.

 

[flash277]

It's weird but that is definitely one of the things we've worried about. It's a very small group locally.

In the end I just want my daughter to have fun.

You wont have to worry about dirty looks, sounds like that team won't be around for long, you can't be the only one not happy with the team.

 

[JoeBob]

She likes some of the girls from her school and the ones she's played with/around for a few years but there are some new young girls and some that are just not motivated to play.

Does she not get along with the kids on the team? I only ask because my DD has endured some lousy practices in her life (rec, 1st TB team she was on, her current MS team) but never didn’t to want to go to practice probably because she (for the most part) enjoyed being around her teammates.

Not that it matters, if she is not enjoying herself at 13(?) YO that is a problem.

 

[JoeBob]

If your kid isn't improving at this age on this team, time to look elsewhere. It's miserable losing all the time, even as a guest player.

Its been a few years of consistently losing. I see how it affects her after a loss.

 

[Wildfire]

We played for four teams in the last 3 years. Think nothing of it moving to a new team. The longer you wait the further behind your DD will get. Be nice when you tell the HC you're moving on. Thank him, wish him well and be done.