When and how to talk to coach

[sluggers]

Use this as a way to teach. If you need to do the talking, fine. Just teach and explain to her what you are doing.

The most important thing my DDs learned from me was how to handle this situation. They use the same skills today over and over again to advance. They are very successful in their adult jobs, because they didn't learn how to do this at 50 YOA, they knew how to do it at 23 YOA. They leapfrogged over their peers.

 

[stephanie]

As a former teacher/coach...
Email the coach! This coach is also teaching upward to a 100 students, as well as coaching a bunch of MIDDLE SCHOOL girls! Oh the hormones...
Write the email, re-read it, and then sit on it until the next day. Don't send it on Monday or Friday. Mid-morning is a good time.
Don't expect an immediate response.
You need to decide if you want to talk in person, or if an email response is ok. Teacher's will respect you NOT demanding a face to face...remember, coaching your daughter isn't her JOB, teaching those other 100 kids is...
Also, don't approach her right before the game, or right after, unless she says "come talk to me right after the game!"
Good luck!

 

[Amy in AZ.]

I do understand.

A good coach finds a way to play everyone, most of the time.

 

[alexander58]

As a former teacher/coach...
Email the coach! This coach is also teaching upward to a 100 students, as well as coaching a bunch of MIDDLE SCHOOL girls! Oh the hormones...
Write the email, re-read it, and then sit on it until the next day. Don't send it on Monday or Friday. Mid-morning is a good time.
Don't expect an immediate response.
You need to decide if you want to talk in person, or if an email response is ok. Teacher's will respect you NOT demanding a face to face...remember, coaching your daughter isn't her JOB, teaching those other 100 kids is...
Also, don't approach her right before the game, or right after, unless she says "come talk to me right after the game!"
Good luck!

You make a good point about teaching kids all day. I'm sure that affecta a teacher's outlook on after school activities. However, I assume she is paid to coach. That makes it her job.I can't speak specifically to your daughter's situation, but this team has 20 to 25 players. 4 or 5 of these players play nearly every inning of every game, despite the fact they have a designated "B" team. This coach can do as she wishes, but that is just plain wrong.

 

[bigblue]

Middle School is just that. Everyone child selected to be on the team should be playing!!!

i had a situation in MS baseball where my coach hated anything I did and would be an a@@ to me. He said one season if you strike out you will sit one game for every strike out. Well after that game going 4-4 , on the bus ride I told him why can the rest of the team be allowed to strike out and not me coach is that fair ! he said life is not fair kid and by the way good job on not striking out but I am still going to ride you like a bull....

School coaching is horrible most of the time and they know very little and assume alot based on skued views of what they think is correct...

i would email that coach and ask what does my kid need to do ? why is your evaluation of her? where do u see her playing etc.. I wouldnt wait one more game.....

 

[SamG]

Thought I'd update this thread...

The "one more game" I was waiting on (that I could attend) got rained out. There were two games while I was out of town. 1st game she didn't play the first 4 innings, was asked to warm up to pitch in the 5th. Game called after 4. 2nd game she started at 1st base. (I'm told) turned a double play in the first inning (received throw from a hit, then threw to third to catch the runner advancing from 2nd). 2nd inning was trying to catch a ball thrown by the catcher, lost it in the sun, caught it in her right eye. She went down (go figure). Nice black eye. Sat the rest of the game, never got to bat. There's another game tonight. Bet you she'll wear her GameFace if she plays.

I'm not crazy about the coach's methods, but don't have a lot of choice.

 

[tward1993]

I would recommend your daughter ask what she needs to do to get more play time. She obviously wants it and works hard by being there for every practice, cheering, staying positive and sticking around to help clean up, etc. I feel coming from the parent is just that. Does the coach know she is hungry for more and willing to do what it takes to get off the bench? Maybe he/she would see your intervention on her behalf as your desire not hers. My daughter is 11 and her coach loves to hear from the girls and know who is willing to do the work and go the extra mile.

 

[SamG]

FRUSTRATING!

So DD gets to pitch for 1/3 of an inning Tuesday night. There were a couple hits off her, some walks, a K, and some errors (including an inside the park HR). Then she gets pulled. Never bats in a 13-2(?) loss.

Game last night... DD doesn't start (no problem there). The girl playing 2nd makes THREE errors out of four balls hit to her in the first inning. She plays through the third inning (& bats twice). Coach sends in replacements in the 4th... three girls who had already played the 'A' game. I didn't mention we were down 10-1 at the time. Also two girls who played the A game were already playing the B game. DD gets sent to the bullpen and told to warm up. She doesn't get out of the bullpen until the 5th inning (and the game) is over. We ended up losing 11-2.

The mother of the girl playing 2nd complains the coach pulls her DD whenever she makes a mistake. Are you kidding me?

I'm just sitting in the stands biting my tongue, knowing if I say anything DD could suffer. But it just burns me up. I know there are better girls on the team and that's why DD isn't playing. But when a team is down 10-1 and you want to put subs in, why not play girls who wouldn't normally get a chance to play?

Six scheduled games left to play (don't know if we'll make up some earlier rain outs). All I want to do is make it through the season without losing my cool (and it gets tougher every game).

Sorry, just need to vent.

 

[fivepotsogold]

This is my 8th graders first and only year of middle school ball. Coach seems nice enough ... 18 on the team ... all 15 8th graders made it.

The coach does play all the kids as much as humanly possible and we are 5-0 with only one close game. Seven more games to go.

I also struggle with whether or not to approach the coach regarding pitching.

MY DD starts at 1st or 3rd (she actually hates 3rd, likes CF). She has been batting #3, #4, #5 and is hitting mostly solid base hits with one HR and one hit that ended up winning our close game (good timing).
I don't really have a lot to complain about.
But in the 35 innings played she has pitched only 4 innings. We have 5 pitchers ..... the first pitcher is good ... but not significantly better ... the other three are mid 40's at best and not that accurate...but we have no issue with the pitching some too.

Of the 4 innings DD pitched we were ahead 11-0 when she was replaced by #3/#4 pitcher (5 runs scored, but she needs to pitch too). Won 13-5 ..
My DD does not have a problem with sharing ... but is a little confused why she isn't pitching as she is a very strong pitcher.

The "#1" played three full games (this is the only kid who has not sat one inning of any game).

My DD and " the #1 " each play on our Juniors teams (one on each team) and will both play on different travel teams in June.
My DD has to split time with another pitcher (4 (my DD) and 3 innings each every game) ...the other girls doesn't, pitches all 7.

Although fielding is good and she is running faster, hitting better...the time required for theseteams leaves almost no time for us to practice. We won't quit .... but definitely though this would be a more challenging pitching experince and it has turned out to be less than productive ...

(not to mention #1 tells all at school no one else is good enough to be pitching ... she will rule the team ...etc)(Dad calls her pitches from the bleachers ...I sigh but have vowed to say nothing ....)

LOL ... thanks for letting me vent ...
We can't fix everything ... and I keep reminding myself that her little spring Travel team appreciated her and her upcoming summer season is coached by someome who will also use her as a pitcher and right fielder ..
but is hard to see how far she has come and not get some time .....
Being a parent isn't easy and I'm sure her first heartbreak will be more difficult!

 

[SamG]

OK, we talked to the coach last night. Third game in a row DD never came off the bench (5 players who played the entire A game played the entire B game). I was stewing pretty good.

However, once the coach finished her stuff, DD and I both went to her. I asked what DD needs to work on. She said for pitching... more reps. DD's gotten better over the season, but needs to work on consistency. That much I knew. On position playing... she said DD appears to still be a little scared of the ball (backing away from throws, not fielding in the center of the body, etc). THAT I didn't know. DD hadn't done that in the past. I think the faster pace of the game (basically 12U now) and girls throwing harder had her nervous. DD heard everything. Then DD asked the coach if she'd be willing to work with DD over the summer to help improve hitting & fielding. Coach said no problem, but try to find 2-3 other girls so DD can get some reps at 1st base (taking "live" throws from fielders).

So hopefully DD will improve over the "off" season (she's only playing rec ball... 10 games in one month) and will get more playing time next year.

A couple points that were brought up in this thread... we went to the coach after the game because I wasn't sure I could get time off work to talk during the school day.
Coach also said she wants DD to bring her concerns directly to the coach and not have me do it (as Ray pointed out I believe). I can respect that but think DD was still intimidated by the coach. Hopefully working with the coach in a small group over the summer will help that.

All in all, a very good talk ending with a "game plan". I am leaving it up to DD to find a couple other girls to work with (she's got some in mind).

Thanks for the help.