When and how to talk to coach

[SoCalSoftballdad]

I'm of the belief that unless you coach your own team, you will rarely or never be happy as a softball parent. Coaches have their reasons for the decisions they make and it may not be readily apparent to someone such as a parent who has a strong emotional attachment to their daughter. As a parent you (we) downplay and rationalize the mistakes DD makes and play-up all the great things she is doing on and off the field (i.e. practicing extra at home, struck out the best batter on the other team, etc). All she can do is get herself in the best game ready shape she can and her time will come to play more. If it does not, you look for another team. By definition, some girls will get less playing time and those girls either step up their game and get motivated or they don't improve.

 

[Hollyrockartist]

Loving this thread because there are several of us who have girls on the HS team and are already worked up just thinking about the fall season of school ball. I approached the coach during the middle of last season (fall) about my dd's playing. I have been a teacher (this coach, amazingly enough, isn't in the classroom), so I took the road, "how can we help her at home, as parents, to improve her game?" I thought that would open the door for great communication. You would not believe the things that came out of her mouth to me about my child. Mind you, I called her to schedule a "conference" face to face and she immediately jumped on the defensive, telling me I could just talk to her on the telephone and that was sufficient. Sure, for her, not for me. I ended the conversation feeling more frustrated than anything, finding out (by reading between the lines) she has issues with my dd and certainly has favorites. Looking towards the fall, I called another coach on staff at the school (male) and asked for his advice in approaching the softball coach. He gave me some very good advice, I think. He said to work with dd during the summer and before the season starts, go to the coach and tell her that I expect my dd to have a fair shot at playing time. He said he would rather hear it from a player or their parents than hear on the street that parents/players are upset. He is an awesome coach, btw, but is a firm believer in "my way or the highway" - not many on his teams, but the ones he does have are loyal and the best of the best.

We are rebuilding, again, and I truly believe that the coach doesn't have faith that the team is going to be stellar in the fall. Rumor on the street they are trying to pull in 2 girls from another school to play (already have 18 on the team now...mostly "little ones", but still a nie round 18). Of the 18, I would say that there are a solid 12 who are dedicated and disciplined enough to learn more and give even more at practice if they felt like their coach had her head in it. It is hard to work and give of yourself if you aren't believed in by the one you are there performing for during games and at practices, if that makes sense.

UGH - sorry for my venting! It's just hard, as a parent, when you see favoritism and you know that you aren't going to be kissing tail to make sure your dd has a starting position! Bless her, she'll ride that bench throughout high school if that is the requirement to get her on the field...not something we believe in doing around here. You should earn your spot by merit and ability, not by how much you do for the coach on the side. My dd definitely has the ability and can get there in skill level if the coach would even look her direction instead of ignoring her at practice.

Sorry for hijacking your thread, Sam, and glad things are going better your direction!