If I had $1 for every time my DD complained about going to practice I could buy a really nice bass boat...as they get older there are a lot of distractions and things they would rather be doing, especially when their close friends do not play a sport at a high level.
What to do when your daughter loses interest?
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I found with both of my kids that my perception of their love for the game and their actual love for the game didn't match. As JAD said, as they get older there are other interests and things that come up, competing for their time. I took the declining attention to softball as declining interest when in fact it was more an issue of having more things to juggle and less time available.
DD#2 is in HS and she works hard as an SOB to do well in school, this means she needs to put more time in to her studies than ever. she still likes to work on pitching and hitting in her spare time, she just has way less spare time.
As much as I would like to see her be a star again, she has her priorities in the right place.
DD#2 is in HS and she works hard as an SOB to do well in school, this means she needs to put more time in to her studies than ever. she still likes to work on pitching and hitting in her spare time, she just has way less spare time.
As much as I would like to see her be a star again, she has her priorities in the right place.
my daughter is in middle school right now and I am seeing something like this. However, last night threw me for a loop. After "playing" with her friends, she comes walking at 7pm and says..."hey Dad, can we go to Rally Caps (indoor hitting facility)?" I'm in the middle of watching one of my favorite Netflix shows I jumped up and said "lets do this". the next 30mins its 3 buckets of hitting and then she says "lets stop by the field, I want to throw a little" and that turned out to be another 45 mins throwing, that turned into light ground ball and outfield work. After all that, she says my knee is feeling great and can't wait for the tourney this weekend. DD is a 11yo...she made my day yesterday.
- Dec 11, 2010
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It was like you were describing the phone of my teenage years bit by bit.
The harvest gold phone replaced a godawful green one that was a party line. (It was cheaperthat way.). Three or four families used one line, you would pick up the phone and someone else would be talking so you would politely hang up and wait for it to free up.
What really sucked is one of the families had a dairy barn with a phone in it, (a crazy luxury, imagine not having to go in the house to use the phone), and the receiver would get knocked off the cradle. All you could hear was cows mooing. That would go on for hours.
very difficult years for girls. Support her in any interests never push her because you like the game
Such a tough question. DD's team is 1st yr 14s. I really think this is one of those years when girls really start deciding whether or not they WANT to play softball (or any sport). The HC of DD's team has a daughter who loves being part of the team and loves wearing the uniform, but wants NOTHING to do with playing the game. She is happy as a clam to sit in the dugout. She has zero, and I mean ZERO desire to be on the field. I know HC is frustrated. He has invested tons of $$ into pitching and hitting lessons, and tons of time into coaching her team - and she couldn't care less. He is losing his love of the game as well. It is really sad because he really had a gift for coaching. I would say half of DD's team is like HC's daughter. Much more interested in snapchat than the game. They will sneak phones into the dugout during games - not caring that the consequence of having a phone in the dugout is sitting.
I am lucky. DD couldn't care less about her phone. She has one for MY convenience but it really doesn't matter because it is NEVER charged. She has no interest in social media and would much rather be outside chasing fly balls, or hitting the tee, or kicking a soccer ball or shooting hoops.
I know there are several times girls lose interest, and sometimes I think as parents we just have to be ok with it...even when it breaks our hearts. (Thankfully I'm not there yet with DD).
I am lucky. DD couldn't care less about her phone. She has one for MY convenience but it really doesn't matter because it is NEVER charged. She has no interest in social media and would much rather be outside chasing fly balls, or hitting the tee, or kicking a soccer ball or shooting hoops.
I know there are several times girls lose interest, and sometimes I think as parents we just have to be ok with it...even when it breaks our hearts. (Thankfully I'm not there yet with DD).
I think back on my teenage years. My biggest hobbies in 9th grade were piano, cello and politics. My biggest hobbies in the 11th grade were chess and debate. At one point in the 10th grade I tried to do all of those at the same time, and it didn't work very well. All of those hobbies have long passed me by.
Teenage years are times when kids experiment to see what they like, and what they don't like, and their interests can change very quickly. It was sad to see someone as talented at softball as DD 1 give up the sport, but I am sure it was sad for my parents when I gave up playing musical instruments. They hated that I was playing chess instead of playing instruments. At one point I got to where I would lie to them and tell them I was playing pinball, when instead I was sneaking out and playing chess. I am serious.
Teenage years are times when kids experiment to see what they like, and what they don't like, and their interests can change very quickly. It was sad to see someone as talented at softball as DD 1 give up the sport, but I am sure it was sad for my parents when I gave up playing musical instruments. They hated that I was playing chess instead of playing instruments. At one point I got to where I would lie to them and tell them I was playing pinball, when instead I was sneaking out and playing chess. I am serious.
Hello all - I haven't been on this site for many months. This topic of losing interest has been hitting our family hard lately, so that's specifically why I logged on today. I immediately see this post.
My dd is 17, finishing her Junior year in HS and has been playing travel ball since age 10. She has always loved the game, although butting heads with "daddy" when she has a bad weekend at the plate (he wants to "fix" everything) has been hard on her, and also on me. (Nothing extreme - I know many dads that are tough on their girls. And my dd has always been "Daddy's girl" - they are very close)
That being said, softball has been our way of life for many years. The girls at this level work and play hard and do miss out on a lot in their teenage years. I have often wished we would have taken more breaks over the years to do things away from softball, so the passion may still be here today. I think she is burned out.
DD says she doesn't care to play in college, that she feels it may be too stressful to juggle a college sport and academics (although she is an excellent student and has always been very structured). She has many schools interested in her, mostly smaller D2 or D3 and a few community colleges in our state.
We asked her if she wanted to walk away now, as we are spending lots of money traveling, doing showcases, etc. for the purpose of being seen by college coaches.
She says she would like to continue to play through high school. (and doesn't want to close the door entirely)
I am wondering also, if she needs a "little push" to play in college, or if we should just let it go. Honestly, I think she would regret not playing in college. She is a bit of a loner, and sometimes needs that push to do things out of her comfort zone. Sports has been a great part of her life, in keeping physically fit, making great friends, and learning many great life lessons. We will be sad when it is all over, but it ends for us all eventually.
My advise to anyone with younger girls playing softball - balance your lives and take breaks along the way!
My dd is 17, finishing her Junior year in HS and has been playing travel ball since age 10. She has always loved the game, although butting heads with "daddy" when she has a bad weekend at the plate (he wants to "fix" everything) has been hard on her, and also on me. (Nothing extreme - I know many dads that are tough on their girls. And my dd has always been "Daddy's girl" - they are very close)
That being said, softball has been our way of life for many years. The girls at this level work and play hard and do miss out on a lot in their teenage years. I have often wished we would have taken more breaks over the years to do things away from softball, so the passion may still be here today. I think she is burned out.
DD says she doesn't care to play in college, that she feels it may be too stressful to juggle a college sport and academics (although she is an excellent student and has always been very structured). She has many schools interested in her, mostly smaller D2 or D3 and a few community colleges in our state.
We asked her if she wanted to walk away now, as we are spending lots of money traveling, doing showcases, etc. for the purpose of being seen by college coaches.
She says she would like to continue to play through high school. (and doesn't want to close the door entirely)
I am wondering also, if she needs a "little push" to play in college, or if we should just let it go. Honestly, I think she would regret not playing in college. She is a bit of a loner, and sometimes needs that push to do things out of her comfort zone. Sports has been a great part of her life, in keeping physically fit, making great friends, and learning many great life lessons. We will be sad when it is all over, but it ends for us all eventually.
My advise to anyone with younger girls playing softball - balance your lives and take breaks along the way!
Your last sentence of advice. That's what your dd wants to do.
I encourage you to ask about the schedule that college ball players are on. On and off season. Good academics or not. It's a grind.
*sarcasm font on* Oh...never with my three DDs *sarcasm font off*
The best advice I ever received for dealing with teenage DDs: Treat them like outpatients from a mental institution.
Nothing works 100% of the time. So, you are going to have failures. Best advice:
The approach that worked best for me:
1) Ask her what her goals for *INSERT ACTIVITY*.
2) Find someone (other than you) who has achieved what your DD wants.
3) Have that person tell your DD what kind of work has to be done.
4) Whenever she says, "I don't wanna," then remind her of what that other person told her she had to do.
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