What coaching style is best or your daughter?

[LightingBolt]

As a coach I always approach each player differently. I am working with the younger end ,first year 12's. I find that each kid responds completely differently to the head coach and staff's reaction to mistakes. If you can and are willing to take the time as a head coach you need to tailor different approaches to each kid's specific needs. Especially at a young age as I work with, when you are playing 100+ games you have to let the girls enjoy the game as well. If you can institute the perfect mix, which is different for every team, of encouragement , constructive criticism, and at times stern lecturing, you should be good to go and keep everyone happy.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

I agree each kids responds differently. So it's best to figure each one out as early as possible when coaching.

As far as my own DD, she pitches her best when she's mad. I'm not talking about a fight with her mom or boyfriend mad, I'm talking about facing an arrogant tough opposing team mad. To be honest it took me until her last year in middle school to figure that out completely.

You can actually tell the difference if you know her well enough. If she's too cool and calm she pitches like she's cool and calm. ( not in a good way ) So I've learned to "work" her up some before big games, get in her head, talk about how good the other pitcher is, how they haven't lost a game in ____ days, etc. You can see her walking to the rubber mumbling #¥]{*^+ this team or >#%^_*+% this batter. She's just got that look in her eye that she doesn't when she is too relaxed.

In HS we have a really good AC who is young and outgoing. He too has learned to work her up. He is the first base coach, when we switch to defense he waits for her in the circle and chats her up before he returns to the dugout. Sometimes she gets so mad her face turns purple, but he turns away from her and throws a "thumbs up" to the crazy dad section. Like, "we're good now".

This being DD senior year I'm going to try to get a really good video camera around Christmas. I know lots of you don't like HS ball, but this group of players/coaches/parents ( for the most part ) are a hoot. We play some dang good ball and have a lot of fun. America's Funniest softball videos coming spring of 2013. Tune in.

 

[rdbass]

DD is a freshman going out for softball team this spring. High school ball to us is big. GOINGDEEP you have a great way about you. Like I've seen suggested before if ever our paths cross, first couple of beers on me. Always good posts.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

DD is a freshman going out for softball team this spring. High school ball to us is big. GOINGDEEP you have a great way about you. Like I've seen suggested before if ever our paths cross, first couple of beers on me. Always good posts.

Haha, thank you rdbass. I'm nothing special, just come from a family who has and continues to play baseball/softball. The wives in the family think we're a little nuts, but they still tag along with us.

Tell you a trick since your DD will be entering the HS years. Always thank the reporters when they come to the games, heck I always get the concession ladies to slide them a free burger or something. ( if you have to buy them a $2 burger, good investment ) Let them know you appreciate their time. I also will send a quick/short email on game day telling the time, place, and opponent..........asking them to come. A good relationship with the news staff gets the girls some really good ink. And the girls REALLY love getting their picture and name in the paper.

 

[rdbass]

Thanks, first part need DD needs to make the team. We are and will work hard during the fall and winter. Thank goodness(I thank God) that I found this site. Great peeople on this site will help us with her goal. Sorry to hijackthread.

 

[Pitching Dad]

All this depends on the age of the team. I coach a first year 12u team, we as coaches on our team try to keep EVERYTHinG positive. If they make an error then we say "flush it, do better on the next play" We have all seen coaches "loose thier minds" on a girl ans at this age they just shut down. My girls all respond best to a positive atmosphere. There is a time in the next couple of years where I will expect and demand more from them but right now its about trying to cultivate a love for the game in my girls. We are a successful TB team and this works the best for me. I was once told "young girls are like dealing with nitrogliceren" handle with love and care, treat them with dignity and they will work for you.

 

[CPSBDad]

DD and another girl on a team got reamed by a coach because of a lack of effort and not paying attention. DD and other girl were the youngest on the team--they want to play up they need to work harder. DD leaves the dugout as she always does. Other girl is crying and mom and grandpa and grandma are having a fit. About to pull their DD from the team. Ask me what I thought because I was in the dugout when it happened and heard everything. How dare a coach talk to their DD like that. I asked DD what she thought. She said, "coach was doing his job, and I don't cry about softball". Pretty much sums it up.

 

[GTRH8R]

DD loves feedback. Any coach that gives good constructive feedback and that teaches will win her over. Not a fan of screamer coaches, but can take directness when she screws up or isn't getting the job done.

Her coach told her she wasn't getting the job done in the MI the other day so she had a good practice yesterday and walked up to him afterwards and told him she got it done at that practice. That kind of stuff motivates her to get better. He's figured that out and has started poking her about some of the swing things that I am always on her about. He busts her with sarcasm about it and she just eats it up and works on making it better.

Oh and a coach where each girl has the opportunity to truly compete for spots - no daddy ball. If you are better you play. She can tolerate losing to somebody who played better - or should I say she can deal with it and it makes her mad she let somebody beat her - but she gets mad when a spot is not earned.

 

[Ken Krause]

Personally, I think a lot of the reaction has to do with how the player perceives the coach and what he/she is saying. Even with someone yelling, is the yelling directed at the player (with a "you're an idiot") kind of tone, or is it more "you're better than that, quit cheating yourself?

Some coaches yell because they don't know what else to do. They're like Americans in another country thinking if they just talk louder to the locals they'll understand English. I don't think the players get much out of those coaches. Sure, some break down, others just tune out. And some suffer in silence believing all the horrible things the coach is saying to them out of his/her own ignorance of how to correct the situation.

Others can provide what was called "tough love" above. That's different. That setting a standard and expecting it to be met. If the coach has demonstrated the skill or knowledge, and the player has demonstrated understanding, but then doesn't execute because she wasn't focused, she's going to hear about it. Because both coach and player know what should've happened.

It's funny, though. The better job you do of training your players, the less they need the coach to come down on them if they have a brain freeze or their mind wanders off. They know already, and will correct themselves more thoroughly than the coach ever could.

By the way, I'm also a believer that players who don't make mistakes or errors aren't playing to the best of their ability. They're playing it safe. So there has to be some room to stretch, too. It can be a frustrating game for sure, but stretching is how they get better.

 

[CoachKevin]

We played a team this weekend, 16A that their coach consistently told them where the play was, how to do it, when to do it. EVERY pitch.... Talk about annoying whew!!

We don't coach the girls much during games. Let them play, make notes, and work the next practice.