Tryout question

[Coach JV]

DD had a bit of a rift with another player on her current team and is considering moving
to a different team, So:
I took DD to a tryout that is geographically closer over the weekend.
She did great, the team looks average for their class, dd was in the top 3.

Parents seemed ok,
2 that were there said coach plays big-time daddy ball with his DD who pitches.
What do we do when the phone call comes this week. He worked my DD as
a pitcher and really liked her, said she was the best that tried out. What to do
if my DD outperforms coach's DD in the circle but is not #1. The coach knows I have
been coaching in the area for several years, do I offer to help with the team?

 

[mrslug01]

On a good team, a coach should need at least two quality pitchers so if she's in the top two what difference does it make if she's one or two? I coach and my daughter is a pitcher at U14. If we're in the finals, I don't care which games she pitched to help get us there.

 

[Coach JV]

and if there is a discernible difference in pitchers? Then maybe #2 is pitching
championship game while the best pitcher is playing OF (also 14U)

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

JMO

* the new team's coach is #1 pitchers daddy - red flag
* current parents saying that coach is big time daddyballer - red flag

Been there, done that and it was a horrible experience for DD. It didn't matter to her coach who was the better pitcher, coaches DD was in the circle.

It could be that this will turn out OK, BUT I would do a lot more research before committing.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

and if there is a discernible difference in pitchers? Then maybe #2 is pitching
championship game while the best pitcher is playing OF (also 14U)

You still have to get to the champ game.

Very hard to say one is better than the other with one tryout. One may have been on fire, other may have been dead. Real test will come during game times.

You have to learn to leave those ego's in the parking lot. And it's hard.

I also agree with mrslug, if she is in top two she will get all the pitching she wants. Champ game or not. ( if coaches DD keeps losing champ games I assure you he will have so much pressure from parents and players that your DD will slid right in )

 

[sluggers]

that were there said coach plays big-time daddy ball with his DD who pitches.

Totally agree that you need more information.

It depends upon how "Crazy Daddy" manifests itself.

If the guy is going to go ape-sh*t during a game and start screaming every time his little pumpkin walks someone, you need to say "Thanks, but no thanks". (Yes, I've seen this.)

If the guy is going to play "the blame game" (e.g., "we lost because the SS couldn't field a 150 mph line drive coming straight at her face, not because my DD walked 10 batters"), then you have to decide whether you, as an adult who has retained the ability to reason, can put up with it for 6 months. (When I first got into kids sports, I could. At this point, I can't put up with it for 6 minutes.)

If the guy is going to pitch his DD all the time, then obviously you say "No." If he is willing to rotate your DD and his DD and give her equal time on the mound, then it would be fine. The advantage is that your DD won't be short changed. The disadvantage is that your DD gets pitching time when she doesn't deserve it, and she won't pitch when she does. My DDs pitched on a couple of teams where the daddy-coach did this, and it was OK. In that situation, you as the parent act as the realist and start analyzing what she did good and what she did bad during the game.

The coach knows I have been coaching in the area for several years, do I offer to help with the team?

Based upon what you've written here, I think you would be fine. You seem to be self-aware (i.e, you love your DD, but you know she isn't the second coming of Lisa Fernandez).

You probably can get some idea of what he is going to be like simply by making the offer.

and if there is a discernible difference in pitchers?

Again, if he has agreed to rotate the pitchers during the tournament, it won't matter.

But, obviously--be careful and ask lots of questions.

 

[LadyCharger]

I would do some more research because maybe in the past the coaches daughter really was the best pitcher.
you cant always go just make a decision based of of what one or two people say.

 

[FiveFrameSwing]

DD had a bit of a rift with another player on her current team and is considering moving
to a different team, So:
I took DD to a tryout that is geographically closer over the weekend.
She did great, the team looks average for their class, dd was in the top 3.

Parents seemed ok,
2 that were there said coach plays big-time daddy ball with his DD who pitches.
What do we do when the phone call comes this week. He worked my DD as
a pitcher and really liked her, said she was the best that tried out. What to do
if my DD outperforms coach's DD in the circle but is not #1. The coach knows I have
been coaching in the area for several years, do I offer to help with the team?

Sounds like you've been warned.

You mentioned the team was just "average". Doesn't sound overly exciting.

"Average team" with a coach that plays daddy-ball and has the same position as your daughter.

Can you find a team that is better than "average" team, and with a coach that doesn't have a daughter competing for the same position as your daughter? If so, keep looking.

 

[Coach JV]

Thanks for all the input, I have been approached by a coach of a 16U team in need of
pitching. DD will be #3, maybe this is best for us, only problem is my DD is 13, most of the new team are 15yo.
I think she will be pushed harder to perform, thus more beneficial long-term

 

[starsnuffer]

Easy rule of thumb to follow is "no parent/coaches 14u and up". It's fine for daddy coaches at 12u and lower, but after that, it just doesn't work out. Pick a team with no daddy head-coach (assistants are usually daddies).

-W