Travel Ball vs. HS Sports vs. other club sports

[uncdrew]

If it is taking hours at night, it sounds like an education system problem. Kids have more homework, and ACT scores are down to the lowest point in twenty years, even with making the test easier.


One thing I notice is study halls seem to be non-existent anymore along with required PE. I think having both of those need to be required again.

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Yeah, my kids spend their home room/study hall socializing. So that valuable time gets tacked on to homework at night. And they are taking tough courses that require more studying that on-level courses. Their grades are good and stress levels seem low, so I think it's ok for our family. But time management is critical and they don't have much time to goof off (on Monday - Thursdays).

All my kids did have to take PE throughout elementary/middle/HS so that trend might be changing.

 

[kibadbo]

If a girl aspires to play softball in college, missing a softball tournament for a volleyball tournament or any other sporting event is inexcusable. My daughter's former coach had a team with a bunch of girls who also played volleyball, and scheduling was a nightmare because they always had conflicts. Eventually, it came back to bite him when they all chose volleyball over softball and quit his team, leaving his daughter with no team.

Proms, family weddings, homecoming, and other events of that ilk are different stories.

Sorry if I'm beating a dead thread here, but I'd like to get some opinions on an issue that just came up. DD has a tourney this weekend, including one game on Friday. She came home from practice with tears of rage in her eyes because her team would only have eight players on Friday because many of her teammates were going to their homecoming football games. Not the dance (that will be an issue the following evening) but just the football game.

DD is furious and just might leave the team over this. She's an intense kid, and I told her she could lighten up a little. But I think she's got a point. She is surrounded by kids who value a football game over their teammates. Is there any consensus on this?

 

[RADcatcher]

Sorry if I'm beating a dead thread here, but I'd like to get some opinions on an issue that just came up. DD has a tourney this weekend, including one game on Friday. She came home from practice with tears of rage in her eyes because her team would only have eight players on Friday because many of her teammates were going to their homecoming football games. Not the dance (that will be an issue the following evening) but just the football game.

DD is furious and just might leave the team over this. She's an intense kid, and I told her she could lighten up a little. But I think she's got a point. She is surrounded by kids who value a football game over their teammates. Is there any consensus on this?

Understandable frustration! It is difficult particularly in high school for all the players to have the same goals. Those type of things should be discussed by the coach at the beginning of the season so everybody can understand the same standards. Which may not be what your daughters are. With that she can decide if she wants to make an adjustment in her expectations or not.

If that didn't happen at the beginning of the season...
Apparently she is now in that time and place to make a decision.

 

[kibadbo]

Understandable frustration! It is difficult particularly in high school for all the players to have the same goals. Those type of things should be discussed by the coach at the beginning of the season so everybody can understand the same standards. Which may not be what your daughters are. With that she can decide if she wants to make an adjustment in her expectations or not.

If that didn't happen at the beginning of the season...
Apparently she is now in that time and place to make a decision.

You're right of course. I didn't ask enough questions early in the process and it's coming back to haunt me. But this team travels out of state somewhat regularly. They spend a week in CO, and in CA. It seemed obvious that they would take the game seriously. But that is what I get for assuming.

 

[ChrisSB]

Sorry if I'm beating a dead thread here, but I'd like to get some opinions on an issue that just came up. DD has a tourney this weekend, including one game on Friday. She came home from practice with tears of rage in her eyes because her team would only have eight players on Friday because many of her teammates were going to their homecoming football games. Not the dance (that will be an issue the following evening) but just the football game.

DD is furious and just might leave the team over this. She's an intense kid, and I told her she could lighten up a little. But I think she's got a point. She is surrounded by kids who value a football game over their teammates. Is there any consensus on this?

I have a daughter who always gave up every high school big event for softball. She would get upset about teammates who didn't seem to exhibit that same dedication. And then one day when she was a junior she just broke down and started talking about wanting to quit softball. She was tired of missing out on things. We had a big awakening at that moment and now no longer make her life all about softball. It doesn't mean she's no longer dedicated or committed, she most definitely is. As a senior she really wanted to go to her last homecoming football game and dance and so we encouraged that. She let her coach know she would not be available that weekend when the season first started and they got a sub, but a couple of her teammates gave her grief about it and her coach made some comment about not being committed. Personally I don't care, my daughter's happy, mentally healthy, and committed to play in college. Finding a way to have some balance in her life so she doesn't feel like she's missing out on everything is the best thing we've ever done.

 

[RADcatcher]

I have a daughter who always gave up every high school big event for softball. She would get upset about teammates who didn't seem to exhibit that same dedication. And then one day when she was a junior she just broke down and started talking about wanting to quit softball. She was tired of missing out on things. We had a big awakening at that moment and now no longer make her life all about softball. It doesn't mean she's no longer dedicated or committed, she most definitely is. As a senior she really wanted to go to her last homecoming football game and dance and so we encouraged that.

She let her coach know she would not be available that weekend when the season first started and they got a sub, but a couple of her teammates gave her grief about it and her coach made some comment about not being committed.

applaud speaking up at the beginning of the season.
Could be said of many things there's an upside and a downside to many decisions.

 

[LEsoftballdad]

Everyone is different. My girls never attended a single football game in their high school years. They hate the game, so it's not a big deal. They have never missed a travel event for a school function that wasn't a required class function. Their friends are all softball players, even more so for my daughter who's in college, so they're not missing the social aspect of HS.

If they joined a team and were told the expectations at the start of the season, they should be there. If it's a family wedding or funeral, that is an acceptable reason to miss an event. If they're attending a college camp or visit, that's good too. At least to me, missing an event to go to homecoming isn't acceptable, especially if it's a team designed around recruiting for college. If it is rec ball, you can't expect the same level of commitment.

 

[4Martini]

Everyone is different. My girls never attended a single football game in their high school years. They hate the game, so it's not a big deal. They have never missed a travel event for a school function that wasn't a required class function. Their friends are all softball players, even more so for my daughter who's in college, so they're not missing the social aspect of HS.

If they joined a team and were told the expectations at the start of the season, they should be there. If it's a family wedding or funeral, that is an acceptable reason to miss an event. If they're attending a college camp or visit, that's good too. At least to me, missing an event to go to homecoming isn't acceptable, especially if it's a team designed around recruiting for college. If it is rec ball, you can't expect the same level of commitment.

There’s a pretty wide gap between playing rec and being expected to skip every high school social event for the team.

Seems like there should be room for kids who take the sport seriously, yet still want to be able to participate in some school stuff.

And there should be room for kids who are willing skip everything non- softball related.

Just be ready to support the all softball all the time kids when it comes to an end. There is definitely an adjustment post college. Missy Franklin had some good insights on it in her autobiography (I was a college swimmer).

 

[DryHeat]

She let her coach know she would not be available that weekend when the season first started

Good. That's how it is done.

At least to me, missing an event to go to homecoming isn't acceptable, especially if it's a team designed around recruiting for college.

I completely disagree. Many of the girls on DD's team missed something for homecoming. Her coach told the team they shouldnt miss those events for a tourney, and this is a team that sends multiple kids to P5 schools every year. Her future D1 coach said pretty much the same thing.

Being committed to softball does not mean stopping every other part of your life. It needs to be sustainable.

 

[uncdrew]

Sorry if I'm beating a dead thread here, but I'd like to get some opinions on an issue that just came up. DD has a tourney this weekend, including one game on Friday. She came home from practice with tears of rage in her eyes because her team would only have eight players on Friday because many of her teammates were going to their homecoming football games. Not the dance (that will be an issue the following evening) but just the football game.

DD is furious and just might leave the team over this. She's an intense kid, and I told her she could lighten up a little. But I think she's got a point. She is surrounded by kids who value a football game over their teammates. Is there any consensus on this?

Yeah, my DD would choose softball every time. This did happen once with a practice, and half the team wanted to watch football game more than practice. We were disappointed at their commitment to softball.