time to move on?

[MandM]

DD is playing 18U up from 14U in the summer- has been an adjustment. Pretty good outings first two tournaments- third not good. Next tournament- DD does not pitch- at all. (I drove 4.5 hours for that). Next tournament, she pitches two innings, gives up one run to a good team, who was clobbering our other pitcher but otherwise was fine. Today, she came in relief - down 4-3 three in first game, gives up no runs, one hit, 3Ks in two innings. Third game, comes in after three, down 5-1, gives up one hit, no runs, 3Ks, three walks against a good team. We lose 5-1. Coach comments on first hit, says that's what you get when you throw it down the middle (DD says to me- pitch was low and on the outside of the plate). next comment is that she needs to hit her spots better, and finally, she needs to pitch with straight arm - not bent arm. We have been working hard on IR to try to GET DD to bend arm . No comments to other pitcher who was getting hit hard, only to DD. Yuck.

She is thoroughly demoralized and was crying on the way home. What to do? This is a new team for us, in an established organization (which is of course $$$$). Coach apparently is only for the fall and there will be a new coach in the spring, but I am afraid of the possibility that negative aura/vibe will persist and DD will not get fair shot -

What to do? I would be OK with DD being #3 if stats warranted it- but I am not so sure that is the case.

Needed to vent and would welcome thoughts (DD is 14, freshman, LHP, speed 55-57- just as an FYI)

 

[GOINGDEEP]

What is she wanting out of this team? What is her goal with this team in the long run, realistically?

 

[Boomers2012]

IMO, a sport is about learning valuable life lessons, improving your skills and having FUN. If any or all are of those are taken out of the equation, its time to move on. Just my opinion......

 

[redhotcoach]

Simple psychology, do you every really get what you want to get by focusing on what you don't want.

Why doesn't 90% of coaches effin' get it?

"The best way to inspire people to superior performance is to convince them by everything you do and your everyday attitude that you whole heartedly support them" -Sue Enquist

 

[David Carter]

I would be very tempted to wait and see. If it was going to be the same coach I would have one heart to heart conversation and if I was not 100% comfortable probably leave.

This is where keeping meticulous stats ends up being your friend. Given the scores of the games you listed she was obviously the #1 pitcher during that tourney unless all those runs your team was giving up in the early innings were magically all unearned. As a 14U pitcher coming up into a 18U team as the#3 pitcher if she pitches like that she should easily catch the eye of the new coach unless of course the #1 pitcher is HCs daughter and the #2 pitcher is ACs daughter. Also might it makes sense to be the #1 pitcher on the 16U team as a 14yr old then maybe the #1 pitcher the following yr for 18U (not sure exactly what the level of competition she faced at tourney maybe was a bunch of 14/15s playing 18U. All that to say there way too many variables for their to be an easy answer,.

What does she do when she is not pitching?

 

[MandM]

thank you all for your thoughts- GD that is an important question- there were goals: to face more challenging hitters, to have a team that supported her pitching efforts , to move up in the organization ultimately to the Gold team, using this entry level team as a stepping stone. I think we need to revisit the goals. Boomers2012- well, we really did NOT have fun this fall- at all. another lesson learned.

 

[cendro]

I think because she is younger, it lookslike she is getting scrutinized more albeit unfairly. Confidence is huge in pitching and I think if your daughter is used as a closer when the team is loosing, (almost to just kill innings to rest the other pitchers) that will not help her confidence. Is there any chance she could maybe move to a team in the org that needs a pitcher? It's great to be with a well known top team but Just make sure your daughter doesn't start dreading practice/playing with this team. Good luck

 

[MandM]

Playing time was another - separate issue that was not managed well by the coach. My not asking the right questions about how these decisions were made- prior to joining the team- contributed to the problem. we have pretty much decided that unless the coach changes, we will not go back - but also plan on having a talk with the new coach in order to ensure that our expectations and their plans are in sync.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

there were goals: to face more challenging hitters, to have a team that supported her pitching efforts , to move up in the organization ultimately to the Gold team, using this entry level team as a stepping stone. I think we need to revisit the goals. Boomers2012- well, we really did NOT have fun this fall- at all. another lesson learned.

I've never been a fan of FP beliefs of moving from 14 to 18u. Maybe I've spent too many years in BB, but we want our pitchers to grow and develop at/near the same pace of the batters. There are great teams to play for experience in 16u ( You just gotta do your homework ). Sorry folks I'm just a believer that pitchers need physical and mental development, 13-14-15 are the biggest learning curve do to introduction of new pitches AND physical body changes to balance. Pitchers parents ask me what I recommend, at least one summer of 16u then go up to 18u in the fall and stay.

There is also a huge social difference between 14-18. 14 still relies on mom and dad hauling them around and they have a bit more oversight in activities. 18 usually has their own car/freedom and are doing what 18 year olds do. ( yea you remember when we were 18, you can probably multiply that by 10 )

Also 18u usually play to win, thus the mental state of the coach may be to play the older stronger girls in his mind. If they've been with the program a few years he may feel obligated for their play time. ( same as comparing "obligated" playtime for HS seniors, politics )

M&M, you got the golden ticket. Her age and speed are average to good but she has what EVERY COLLEGE wants. ( a good LHP ) Once she gets one maybe two years of HS ball under her belt ( and she is successful ) her name will be on the closer colleges radar ( if not already ). Then when she hits the TB expo that radar grows. Colleges talk ( big to small and small to big ) that's one thing I learned going through recruiting with DD. ( so be careful what you say about another school )

My opinion is pitchers ( unlike position players ) don't have to just zero in on the standard 18 Gold mentality. There are tons of good tournament and exposure TB teams that might be a better fit getting the same experience and college results.

The happier your DD is with HER team the better she is going to play and the overall journey you all are going through will be too. Best of luck, GD.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

She is thoroughly demoralized and was crying on the way home.

I will say it again. Softball should not hurt. That includes emotionally. I wouldn't care if she didn't have a game from now, until April. I would pull her from the team. Life is too short and I am reminded of that every day.