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The appeal of a "non-parent" coach

May 24, 2013
10,389
113
So Cal
I am sure the HC would invite the parents to come too. Unless he has a team bus. Lol.
Precisely. Even if the coach has a bus, no one is really going to take on the task of herding a team of 10yos to an event by themselves. Besides, there will always be a few parents who will join the trip because they also love softball...and a couple more who won't ever leave their precious princess out of their sight for 3 seconds.
 
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Jul 27, 2015
90
18
Back in the day, I used to think most coaches were idiots. So I became one (and continued the tradition) Anyhow, I figured out quickly that it a lot harder to coach than it looks, and there is no way to please everyone. I coached for a few years then retired because I was not a good coach. I was decent at game strategy, made things fun for the girls, but I was horrible at teaching. Seems teaching is by far the most important things at the younger age.

On our last team when I was just a parent, we had one non-parent assistant coach. I found that coach to be the most biased of the bunch, which is saying something.

So I vote it does not matter. You will have good parent coaches and you will have good non Parent coaches.

As always, don't play on a team where any of the coaches' kidss play the same position as your daughter. Don't play on a team with 5 coaches because your daughter will always bat in the second half of the order. Try to secretly watch a team before joining.
 
Sep 29, 2014
2,095
83
As someone who was a parent coach as most others have said it just depends. Unfortunately for my kids I was always that parent who given the choice to sit someone would always just sit my kid, it wasn't always best for the team but I used it as a buffer to parents who thought I might be playing favorites...it was a little easier because none of my kids were ever the best player on the team, my kids were the quintessential utility players they could play any position including catcher but none of them pitched ( a couple emergency situations but that's about it), they were not power hitters but were all great contact hitters.

I'm just not sold at 10U or 12U.
 
May 16, 2016
446
28
Illinois
Why? If a coach wants the team to see what college softball looks like, and makes plans for the team to see a local college game as a means of inspiring them, why does it matter if the coach has a DD on the team or not?
I just believe that organizing softball team field trips is not a job that a non parent coach should have to do. It just seems like a little too much to me. What if the field trip was going to the water park, or bowling, or the movie theatre? At some point, it just throws red flags out there to me. That is a duty for the team mom, imo.
 

sluggers

Super Moderator
Staff member
May 26, 2008
5,986
83
Dallas, Texas
The problem with almost all TB coaches is that players are more or less given equal playing time. There is no real requirement for the kids to earn playing time. I understand why--if you have a couple of disgruntled parents, then the team could fold.

That is Ok...but, kids need to learn how to earn playing time. When parents and kids run into a HS coach that no longer gives equal playing time, the parents are always sure the problem is with the coach instead of their child.
 
Nov 18, 2013
1,744
63
The best coaches my kids have played for have been non-parents, and also the worst coach has been a non-parent. It goes both ways.
Generally, the parent coaches have been pretty good in my experience.

I would be wary of a fresh out of college former player with no coaching experience. They need to coach rec ball... or assistant coach travel ball for a few seasons, before taking on their own team, IMHO.
The coaches in my daughters program are mostly current or recently graduated college players. DD coached 12U last year and every kid returned.
 
Nov 18, 2013
1,744
63
I just believe that organizing softball team field trips is not a job that a non parent coach should have to do. It just seems like a little too much to me. What if the field trip was going to the water park, or bowling, or the movie theatre? At some point, it just throws red flags out there to me. That is a duty for the team mom, imo.
A coach lined up a field trip to take DD’s team to watch her play. Afterwards they toured the facilities. The kids had a blast!

Not sure why that would be a red flag. The whole idea behind this program is to teach girls they’re more than just team Moms. They can coach or do anything else that men do.
 

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Jun 12, 2015
3,846
83
Not sure why that would be a red flag. The whole idea behind this program is to teach girls they’re more than just team Moms. They can coach or do anything else that men do.
Thank you for saying this. I was going to keep my mouth shut but I was thinking, why is this a "mom" duty? Being an involved-with-sports mom has clued me in on how much sexism there still is. I was team manager when DH was coaching and did a ton of stuff for the team, yet we had a dad/AC complain that I was included on the coach's group. "What kind of coach puts his wife on the coaches' communications group?" Um, the kind whose wife does a ton of the work you don't see? The kind who doesn't want to have to say everything twice to keep her up to speed? If I'd been, say, his brother and managing the team, I'm sure this guy wouldn't have thought anything of it.

Anyway, I also see no issue with a non-parent coach planning a team outing.
 
Apr 28, 2014
1,224
63
The problem with almost all TB coaches is that players are more or less given equal playing time. There is no real requirement for the kids to earn playing time. I understand why--if you have a couple of disgruntled parents, then the team could fold.

That is Ok...but, kids need to learn how to earn playing time. When parents and kids run into a HS coach that no longer gives equal playing time, the parents are always sure the problem is with the coach instead of their child.
You nailed it 1000%!!
Then the HS is all politics conversations come out. Or you hear "well around here the AD is shacking up with the booster club head who's daughter cant play but gets all the time". Right! :)
I got an idea.. get your kid so good that there is no way she could be denied that spot.. oh.. that takes hard work ;)
HS coaches want to win.
What a joke!
 
May 24, 2013
10,389
113
So Cal
I just believe that organizing softball team field trips is not a job that a non parent coach should have to do. It just seems like a little too much to me. What if the field trip was going to the water park, or bowling, or the movie theatre? At some point, it just throws red flags out there to me. That is a duty for the team mom, imo.
I don't see why it matters who organizes it. With all of the TB teams we've been with, extra-curricular activities have most frequently been planned by an AC (sometimes a parent-coach, sometimes not). We haven't been on a team with a "team mom" since rec ball. Helpful parents have been dads just as often as moms.
 
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