- Apr 16, 2013
- 1,113
- 83
I'm looking for honest opinions here, this isn't a case where I'm looking for people to reinforce my preset thoughts and opinions. This will be long with no quick synopsis. 
My DD plays for a decent team, this is the 3rd season she's been with them. She's the oldest girl on the team, an '03 amongst '04's and some '05's. She's a catcher and 1b. She doesn't like it though (the team), just getting right to it. It's mostly her teammates. They're not bad or mean, but to put it bluntly, they're nothing like her. They value and enjoy drastically different things than she does. She has zero in common with them. She doesn't like practices and she doesn't like games. We've decided she is leaving after the season is over to find a new team. That's the easy part. The hard part is "now or after the season is over?"
First, is play and experience. She's a catcher and she needs every inning she can get. She's coming up on the prime recruiting months/year as a 2021. Her current team has FOUR catchers and 14 girls on the team. I don't know why the coaches did this, but she's not getting the innings she needs. They even upped her playing time after I complained, but it's still not enough even though it's roughly about 2 innings per game. This past weekend she filled in with a team. After a girl left earlier this year they've been down to only one catcher. Their only catcher also tends to play MI a lot so they were really hurting. In 8 games my DD caught about 6 full games. Granted, she was SORE today, but she loved it! Not only that, with that much time, I could actually see her improving over the weekend. She was getting so much experience, she caught more in one weekend than she's caught the entire season on her current team. With that said, also comes with the level of pitching she's catching. The current #1 and 2 on her team top out at about 53mph. They're good pitchers, but at 16u, going for D1 scholarships, I think she needs to experience 60+ on a regular basis.
Next is the previously mentioned lack of cohesion with her teammates. She REALLY got along with this team and the girls. She said she talked more in between one set of games than she has all season with her current teammates. She was perfectly fine with playing 5 games in a day (even being exhausted) vs being ready to leave after two games with her current team. No matter how introverted she may be, the social aspect matters and it was obvious to her after this weekend. She just plain had fun when she usually doesn't. It was never the game, it was the team. I believe some of it was just maturity. She's already a mature 15yo, but being around girls her age and older, she really seemed to gel better. They also seemed to be more "country" like us with different values and activities vs girls from an upper middle class background.
Last, is tryouts and fill in opportunities RIGHT NOW vs waiting for tryout season. Not only does the team she played with want her, but there are (currently) 2 other, high level, national teams that really want her to play with them a weekend to see how she plays and gels with the other girls. These are teams that have a line of girls out the door waiting for a spot. She currently has zero days available from now till the end of the season to play fill in for any teams. I don't believe they'll be waiting another 2 months. That being said, maybe there are 30 other teams that will be in need come tryout season.
Now, with alllll that said, I have an issue with leaving a team mid season. We've only ever done it once, back in 9u baseball when she was 8. It was a toxic situation and the team folded one week after we walked mid game during a tournament. I have an issue with breaking commitments. I might not be perfect, but I try to be a "man of my word". I want her to grow with those same ethics and leaving a team, mid season, just bugs the living crap outta me.
I know some will say, "Do what's right for your daughter." Some may say, "Suck it up and stick with your commitment." But, which is really right? I'd honestly like the real opinions of people that have been there and done that. I'm torn. If I left it up to her, she's already told me she'd leave in a heartbeat. My wife is in that camp too. She liked everything with the team my DD played with. Every time I think, "Ok, we'll do XYZ", I think about it more and say, "No, maybe ABC!" Maybe, I should leave it up to her. She's going on 16 and maybe she's old enough to make this decision on her own. Who knows?!?! So please help me come to a decision with some well thought out and compelling discussion.
My DD plays for a decent team, this is the 3rd season she's been with them. She's the oldest girl on the team, an '03 amongst '04's and some '05's. She's a catcher and 1b. She doesn't like it though (the team), just getting right to it. It's mostly her teammates. They're not bad or mean, but to put it bluntly, they're nothing like her. They value and enjoy drastically different things than she does. She has zero in common with them. She doesn't like practices and she doesn't like games. We've decided she is leaving after the season is over to find a new team. That's the easy part. The hard part is "now or after the season is over?"
First, is play and experience. She's a catcher and she needs every inning she can get. She's coming up on the prime recruiting months/year as a 2021. Her current team has FOUR catchers and 14 girls on the team. I don't know why the coaches did this, but she's not getting the innings she needs. They even upped her playing time after I complained, but it's still not enough even though it's roughly about 2 innings per game. This past weekend she filled in with a team. After a girl left earlier this year they've been down to only one catcher. Their only catcher also tends to play MI a lot so they were really hurting. In 8 games my DD caught about 6 full games. Granted, she was SORE today, but she loved it! Not only that, with that much time, I could actually see her improving over the weekend. She was getting so much experience, she caught more in one weekend than she's caught the entire season on her current team. With that said, also comes with the level of pitching she's catching. The current #1 and 2 on her team top out at about 53mph. They're good pitchers, but at 16u, going for D1 scholarships, I think she needs to experience 60+ on a regular basis.
Next is the previously mentioned lack of cohesion with her teammates. She REALLY got along with this team and the girls. She said she talked more in between one set of games than she has all season with her current teammates. She was perfectly fine with playing 5 games in a day (even being exhausted) vs being ready to leave after two games with her current team. No matter how introverted she may be, the social aspect matters and it was obvious to her after this weekend. She just plain had fun when she usually doesn't. It was never the game, it was the team. I believe some of it was just maturity. She's already a mature 15yo, but being around girls her age and older, she really seemed to gel better. They also seemed to be more "country" like us with different values and activities vs girls from an upper middle class background.
Last, is tryouts and fill in opportunities RIGHT NOW vs waiting for tryout season. Not only does the team she played with want her, but there are (currently) 2 other, high level, national teams that really want her to play with them a weekend to see how she plays and gels with the other girls. These are teams that have a line of girls out the door waiting for a spot. She currently has zero days available from now till the end of the season to play fill in for any teams. I don't believe they'll be waiting another 2 months. That being said, maybe there are 30 other teams that will be in need come tryout season.
Now, with alllll that said, I have an issue with leaving a team mid season. We've only ever done it once, back in 9u baseball when she was 8. It was a toxic situation and the team folded one week after we walked mid game during a tournament. I have an issue with breaking commitments. I might not be perfect, but I try to be a "man of my word". I want her to grow with those same ethics and leaving a team, mid season, just bugs the living crap outta me.
I know some will say, "Do what's right for your daughter." Some may say, "Suck it up and stick with your commitment." But, which is really right? I'd honestly like the real opinions of people that have been there and done that. I'm torn. If I left it up to her, she's already told me she'd leave in a heartbeat. My wife is in that camp too. She liked everything with the team my DD played with. Every time I think, "Ok, we'll do XYZ", I think about it more and say, "No, maybe ABC!" Maybe, I should leave it up to her. She's going on 16 and maybe she's old enough to make this decision on her own. Who knows?!?! So please help me come to a decision with some well thought out and compelling discussion.
