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May 29, 2015
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We preach that we want to teach our kids about responsibility and living up to commitments we have made. However, that lesson is not about “you cannot quit at any cost”. Part of that lesson is learning to recognize the right time and the right way to exit a commitment.

Sounds to me like you are on that right path. Have the conversation with the current coach ... but BOTH of you need to be there for that conversation. You can’t have it for her and you shouldn’t make her do it alone.

As has been said, tell the coach you are leaving after this season, you’d like to go ahead and leave now because there are current opportunities that impact the future, but you will stay out of respect if there is a compelling need for you to stay.
 
Apr 16, 2013
1,113
83
I think that is the right answer. I also fully agree my DD needs to be a part of the conversation. This is a valuable life lesson. We'll let the coach know we need to speak with him alone at some point this weekend. Even if he still needs us for another weekend here or there, we can still be open to that. I have zero issues with the coach or anyone for that matter. He's a good man and I'm thankful for the opportunities he's given my DD so the last thing I want to do is potentially screw anyone over or burn bridges.
 

Strike2

Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
2,044
113
14 kids? 4 catchers? Yes...have that discussion. Be very cordial and throw out compliments and thanks, but make the coach give a compelling reason why he needs you to stay.

BTW, you'll encounter "60+" at the top end of 16U, but I doubt it will be on a regular basis. When I've seen it this season, the ball is all over the place.
 
Jul 22, 2015
851
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I was going to type a response but just go back and read what Marriard wrote and that's virtually identical to what I was going to say. Very few people I've seen leave a team too soon, they almost always stay just long enough for all parties to end up unhappy.
 
Nov 29, 2009
2,975
83
Marriard, very much what I'm looking for. Thank you.

As for the question, yes, "this team". She practiced and played with the team from this weekend and loved it. Loved practice, as the coach really worked with her at catcher. Loved the girls and was still ready to play Sunday if we made it, even as sore as she was.

Sounds like your DD has weighed in with her vote. Move her to the other team. By 16U they need to want to play the game for themselves. Give her the opportunity to do so. Reading between the lines it sounds like the new team is more of a challenge for her and she likes it.

The advice you got from marriard was about as good as you'll ever get for your situation.

Be sure she understands that she doesn't need to be a BFF to be a good teammate. When my DD played 14U - 18U the girls came from a very large geographical area. There were only a couple af girls who lived near us. There was really no social type activities with the team. She did had the same catcher in travel, HS and college. On the field they worked like a well-oiled machine. Off the field they were friendly, but rarely hung out together. They traveled in completely different social circles.
 
Jun 12, 2015
3,848
83
It sounds like this is a 16U team if it has 03s on it, right? Is a roster of 14 unusual in 16U? I've noticed the higher level 12U teams sometimes have 13-15 on the roster. I think marriard nailed it as far as whether to leave or not but I was just curious is that roster is actually unreasonably large.
 
Apr 16, 2013
1,113
83
It sounds like this is a 16U team if it has 03s on it, right? Is a roster of 14 unusual in 16U?
They play 16u mostly. This past weekend they actually dropped down to 14u so she couldn't play which is why she filled in with another team. I have no idea what's "normal" as I never pay attention to how many girls are on each team, but I don't think it is. Especially having 4 girls for the same main position other than pitcher. For those huge, fly all over the country, national teams, I've seen it. I think those girls go in knowing exactly what their place is vs a situation like this.
 
Oct 4, 2018
4,611
113
The coach might very well have three other girls/parents asking for more time behind the plate. You honestly might be doing him/her a favor by leaving early.

Talk it out, be honest. It'll all work out.
 

CoreSoftball20

Wilson = Evil Empire
DFP Vendor
Dec 27, 2012
6,215
113
Kunkletown, PA
Couldn’t get passed this part

I think you singled that out too much, I believe it was meant to be with what was written around it. He isn't saying she doesnt
like games or practices...think she doesn't have very good chemistry with the girls on the team and she just doesnt
enjoy being there with them. That was more the point.

I for one, like marriard said, be cool and respectful to the current coach, but go where she is happy. Its not like the current
team will be left high and dry with no catcher, they have 3 others. Those years go by so fast, don't spend them
on a team she doesn't like being on and not getting reps. She enjoys the other team, play there.
 
Jul 3, 2013
438
43
Leave now. Do it as diplomatically as possible. The team doesn't need your DD, and their decision to play down without her makes me wonder if they are actually thinking that they don't need her.
 

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