I'm with starsnuffer and chinamigarden on this...I'm going to go with the belief that what the guy says is true as happened. He is now a registered sex offender for something he did as a 18yr old, with someone who he believed to be close to his own age....it does not in any way make him a predator or pedophile. Thats one thing i dislike about the registry...might as well brand someone on the forehead for something that may not of been as bad as it really was. Not saying always, but the registry paints with a pretty broad brush. That said, unless you see any reason to make you believe otherwise, I would just treat him as any other stranger who stops to watch a practice/game that you don't know.
Sex offenders in youth sports
- Thread starter SoccerDad
- Start date
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For a level 2 guy, someone might want to look at his conviction(s) for themselves. They are probably public record.
I originally posted to see if anyone else has been in this situation and to find out how their team handled it. I don't think there is an easy way to handle it.
I didn't realize there was such a large group of people that feel like the sex registry system is unfair. This guy was 22 and his victim was 16. He is a medium level offender. Not a low level. According to the sex offender website is says "medium level" indicates a moderate danger to the community and may continue to engage in criminal sexual conduct. Unfortunately you can't just ignore him because he is in the middle of everything.
So, for you guys that wouldn't be bothered by your kid being around a registered sex offender.....is there any point where you draw the line? What if it was a 14 yo with a 22 yo?, what about a 10 yo with a 22 yo? Does he have to be high level offender for you to be concerned? Does your wife feel the same way?
I'm just curious. My kids are younger so maybe I am just more protective than the dads with older DD's. I also saw 3 cases of sexual abuse at my high school. 2 involved football coaches with high school girls and one involved a female basketball coach that gained the trust of a young girl. None were prosecuted. They all three continued to coach/teach after being run out of town.
I don't have any answers, I just wanted to know what other teams have done.
- Jul 26, 2010
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Assume everyone is a sex offender. The only ones you know about are the ones that are caught, and our criminal justice system is far from perfect.
Your kids teacher, their coach, your family members, neighbors, ect. These are all the most likely people who will try to abuse your child. Do you ever take your kid to church? A ballgame? The mall? Those places are full of offenders and potential offenders. How is it different then having someone in the stands at a softball game? Your kid isn't going to turn into some kind of mutated freak just because someone is in proximity to them.
Every team I've ever coached on has the simple rule that a kid is never to be alone with an adult. Even if the kid needed 1 on 1 practice, at least one other coach was present. This is the same reason that any meetings between parents and a coach always have one other coach present. The presence of another individual is usually the best defense from someone letting themselves make a poor decision.
Almost every single story I read about that involves a coach and a player violates those very simple rules. Stick to the rules.
-W
Your kids teacher, their coach, your family members, neighbors, ect. These are all the most likely people who will try to abuse your child. Do you ever take your kid to church? A ballgame? The mall? Those places are full of offenders and potential offenders. How is it different then having someone in the stands at a softball game? Your kid isn't going to turn into some kind of mutated freak just because someone is in proximity to them.
Every team I've ever coached on has the simple rule that a kid is never to be alone with an adult. Even if the kid needed 1 on 1 practice, at least one other coach was present. This is the same reason that any meetings between parents and a coach always have one other coach present. The presence of another individual is usually the best defense from someone letting themselves make a poor decision.
Almost every single story I read about that involves a coach and a player violates those very simple rules. Stick to the rules.
-W
"Drawing a line" is always the issue. What is acceptable seems to vary based upon the latitude.
In Wisconsin, the age of consent is 18YOA. So, two 17YOA kids engaged in consensual sex are both guilty of statutory rape. (I wonder how many statutory rapes go unreported in Wisconsin?) It is not uncommon to have an upset parent demanding that the prosecutor file criminal charges if there is a difference in ethnicity or social status. (I've got some specific examples...)
If you want to get real technical about child sex abuse, serial offenders have specific physical characteristics they favor. So, abusers of 10YOA kids generally aren't interested in 16YOA girls. It is a pretty warped world.
- Oct 19, 2009
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In our county they are slightly less than 57,000 people, there are 140 registered offenders that live, work and attend trade school in our county. Many move out of state because GA laws are so strict on offenders.
Our DA’s office most of the time will not prosecute a 16-18 YO and 15-14 YO and both parties consent, unless the parents push the issue. In GA a few years ago consenting age was 14 and I think some states it is still 14.
At one time we had a detective who did nothing but register sex offenders, check on their where abouts, to make sure they were where they were supposed to be and information given was correct. Now we have a secretary register them and they are required to report any change of address, jobs, schooling or vehicle within 72 hours. The detective would do follow ups and home visits to check if the information given was correct, now we send a car out if any complaints are recieved. Some offenders are required to wear ankle monitors, they had one cut the monitor off and flee this week.
It is not always older children who are victims even infants are at times victims and we are seeing more child on child crimes. I’m not an investigator, but I hear some of the stories and it will break your heart.
They are some like 16 YO who are with a 15 YO who both consent, who get convicted for being a few months older, but it puts these kids in the class as a registered offender.
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I must chime in on this just because of my personal story. My mom had me when she was 16, my dad was 22. They got married and had my 2 sisters by the time mom was 19. It's frightening to me that if this had happened today my father might have had a record and perhaps been put in jail instead of marrying my mom and creating my 2 sisters.
Looking at old photos of my mom at 15..she looked 25.
I had a 21 year old boyfriend when I was 17.
There is a huge difference between that situation and a child predator and unfortunately as a society we haven't learned the difference.
Looking at old photos of my mom at 15..she looked 25.
I had a 21 year old boyfriend when I was 17.
There is a huge difference between that situation and a child predator and unfortunately as a society we haven't learned the difference.
Just a reality check - my motto (and maybe that's cause I live in the northeast) is trust no one- verify. You have only this father's word with regard to the activity that resulted in his being labeled as a "sex offender". Am I correct? how do you know that this is the reality? Why should he be given the benefit of the doubt here??? And while the law maybe an imperfect system-it is meant as a warning system, not as an excuse for vigilanteeism.
There are likely to be rules that govern his behavior with regard to his association with children. Do you know what the rules are? I don't - but if I was a parent on the team- I would be sure to find out and ensure (probably via the authorities) that he was adhering to the rules- I would think that an adult male carrying this label (especially if the reason were truly youthful lust)- would make darn sure to keep his t-'s crossed and his i's dotted- if only to stay out of the spotlight. It seems that this guy may be disregarding that- and FINALLY_ look at the postings about the 48 YO NJ batting coach who was recently arrested for having a sexual relationship with a 14YO_ it seems there were prior incidents when he was younger- in his 20's of relationships with 16 YO etc. I don't think that your concerns are inappropriate or "out there" OR in violation of this parents rights as long as he is conforming to the expectations with regard to his behavior- thus- I think that the first step is to find out what ARE the rules are that govern his behavior as prescribed by the law for an offender with his label.
AND- i would make sure that he is never one-on-one with the girls, even in a small group as it allows an opening for him (worst case scenario) to creating a relationship with the girls that establishes trust.
There are likely to be rules that govern his behavior with regard to his association with children. Do you know what the rules are? I don't - but if I was a parent on the team- I would be sure to find out and ensure (probably via the authorities) that he was adhering to the rules- I would think that an adult male carrying this label (especially if the reason were truly youthful lust)- would make darn sure to keep his t-'s crossed and his i's dotted- if only to stay out of the spotlight. It seems that this guy may be disregarding that- and FINALLY_ look at the postings about the 48 YO NJ batting coach who was recently arrested for having a sexual relationship with a 14YO_ it seems there were prior incidents when he was younger- in his 20's of relationships with 16 YO etc. I don't think that your concerns are inappropriate or "out there" OR in violation of this parents rights as long as he is conforming to the expectations with regard to his behavior- thus- I think that the first step is to find out what ARE the rules are that govern his behavior as prescribed by the law for an offender with his label.
AND- i would make sure that he is never one-on-one with the girls, even in a small group as it allows an opening for him (worst case scenario) to creating a relationship with the girls that establishes trust.
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- Sep 2, 2012
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The sex offenders list is great for raging pedophiles etc. The fact that a 16 yr old boy can be on it for having sex with another 16 yr old is ridiculous. I'm not sure how many kids read this and it may not be a proper question. But at what age did you lose your virginity? I know what I did as a teenaged boy, but I wasn't a predator, teenage boy , yes, predator NO. I know some young ladies who made me look like a Choir boy.
I know a man who was charged for unlawful whatever with a 16yr old, he was 17, they're married now. Have 2 great kids, hard worker but that tag follows him around. So don't automatically think everyone on that list is a horrendous person. I know some folks who did much worse things, felons who stole many thousands of dollars from children s organizations and they aren't on any list. I know a murderer who comes to every one of his kids games and he isn't on a list like that.
I see a lot of cases, and keep in mind it takes 2 to tango, where a kid is unsupervised. Its not un consensual, so teach your kids right from wrong. Saw where a 18yr old USAF member is being charged for 30 counts of statutory rape with a 16yr old, they're both kids, met on the internet, her parents knew they were dating. EXACTLY what do parents think was going to happen? Was he wrong, absolutely, does he need to go to prison for 25 yrs? You decide.
Watch some of the shows your kids watch? Its TV, its very liberal, MTV, even Nickelodeon have shows with teenagers doing stupid stuff. Kids today think that's perfectly fine, actually some parents do also.
I know its a knee jerk reaction but use common sense. And not letting a child play ball, regardless of what her parents crimes are is terrible.
I know a man who was charged for unlawful whatever with a 16yr old, he was 17, they're married now. Have 2 great kids, hard worker but that tag follows him around. So don't automatically think everyone on that list is a horrendous person. I know some folks who did much worse things, felons who stole many thousands of dollars from children s organizations and they aren't on any list. I know a murderer who comes to every one of his kids games and he isn't on a list like that.
I see a lot of cases, and keep in mind it takes 2 to tango, where a kid is unsupervised. Its not un consensual, so teach your kids right from wrong. Saw where a 18yr old USAF member is being charged for 30 counts of statutory rape with a 16yr old, they're both kids, met on the internet, her parents knew they were dating. EXACTLY what do parents think was going to happen? Was he wrong, absolutely, does he need to go to prison for 25 yrs? You decide.
Watch some of the shows your kids watch? Its TV, its very liberal, MTV, even Nickelodeon have shows with teenagers doing stupid stuff. Kids today think that's perfectly fine, actually some parents do also.
I know its a knee jerk reaction but use common sense. And not letting a child play ball, regardless of what her parents crimes are is terrible.
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Not to stray too far off on who has done what and what is acceptable, we are still talking about the OP. Go take a look at the arrest record. Google his name. See if there is a court record on line. How did anyone find out that he is a level 2 sex offender, anyway?
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