Roster 15?

[PAcoach]

Wow, not cool on the coaches part. Explore your options. I think deep down you already have your answers?

 

[absdad]

That coach has a problem communicating, or is flat out deceitful. Either way, it's not a good situation. If he had approached you after the first conversation, and told you that things were or might be changing, then that might be acceptable. It sounds like you were mislead completely. Doubt it would ever get better throughout the season. Get money back , and move on. You paid money for a certain situation, when that changes, the agreement has changed. Coaches like that are a disgrace to the sport.

 

[fivepotsogold]

My pitcher DD could make the 14U team that contacted us last night ... also a 16U team in our organization as well.
That leaves my 12 DD w/o a team then.

Things did change with an injury (serious) of a top player ... I would have understood if they had just come and talked to us ...
(hard to figure out as new players don't fill injured player position)

All deteriorated significaly in last 6-8 weeks ...

If we stay, how do we work on trust andrepairing the broken friendship? Can it be repaired and become a positive for all of us?
If we leave we leave two good friends behind too ..

Have until Sunday ... sigh!

 

[SoCalSoftballdad]

This coach is someone I have known for years, a friend, and has coached both my DD's last winter.

This coach isn't acting like a "friend" when he told you (someone who paid good money to his team and the organization) that it is none of your business how many players are on the team. It's absolutely your business to know what you are getting your DDs and family into before the season starts. This is why I think it is critical that the head coach is as transparent about these type of decisions so that all the families know exactly what they are commiting to with the team.

I doubt the "friendship" is repairable if he treats you with total disregard for your concern about the # of players on the team. I don't think your question was out of line.

Coaching and competition does crazy things to people, even amongst "friends". I think you know you have been deceived and its time to move on.

 

[sluggers]

I agree the coach should have talked to the parents first. It is your business.

It was reasonable for the coach to consider increasing the roster. I think 12 kids is too few for a 14U team. But, clearly, the coach should have consulted the parents before changing everything.

 

[fivepotsogold]

more than 12 ... ???
hmm .. 12 on our team last two tournaments ... my #2DD played about half the time (we are OK with this) ... older DD played all but a couple of innings ..
not sure I would want younger playing less than than that ... or any of the players ...
(just my opinion as a parent)

Anyway ... really disappointing turn of events .. ..

 

[PAcoach]

I think we have all as parents gotten too fussy about this. Trust me, there are injuries and conflicts. The numbers dwindle.

Also there are times when a girl has a parent pass away or a girl who ends up with an unforeseen broken arm, etc. and misses tryouts and wants to come back to an org. she was in before. The coach will make an exception for this sort of thing.

I think the girls should learn they have to share spots. Bench sitting does not ONLY have to be to show a girl she "stinks," but to learn teamwork (when you're down your teammate goes in and picks you up).
Some of the girls are ready to drop after 7 games in one weekend.

I say go with it and coexist. Yes all parents should get a discount when more players are on the roster.

probably a different subject, but..........a competitive kid doesn't want to "share" a spot. I try to teach the players that everyone has a roll and that roll is constantly changing. Each game a player is ask to do whatever is best for the TEAM, for that play, at bat or game.

 

[fastpitch5]

the thing that rubs me is the "its none of your business" attitude. it IS your business...you paid (probably good money) for a specific situation, and that situation changed w/o your knowing or input. while i agree the coach/manager has final say-so in the running of the team, things like this should be discussed to ensure everyone is on the same page and can opt out if they dont like it. it sounds like he at least gave you the opportunity to bow out gracefully, so i'd take it. if ur younger dd is decent, she'll get on another team. sounds like the older one all ready has some options.

speaking of ur dd's - i'm assuming they have had the opportunity to weigh in (i.e. what do THEY want to do?)? they might not have final say, but i think it would be nice to at least know their feelings.

and imo, 15 is waaaay too many for a 12u team. someone mentioned its almost 2 teams, and i agree. the girls just wont get enough game time. if he wants that many players, he might as well add a few more and have an "A" team and a "B" team. i like to carry 11, but will carry 12 (as i am next spring) if a good player comes along and is a good fit for the team. but no more...

 

[Amy in AZ.]

I would move on. This person isn't as good of friend as you thought.

My nephew and his DD went through this very thing. She had been thier #1 catcher for 2 full seasons. (age 10 and 11) After fund raising and being a dependable player for 2 years, they brought in 2 "better" players and called her dad and cut her.

This man was their "good friend from church."

I don't get it. I don't treat my friends like this. (After the initial shock, my great niece found a much better fit, for her.)

 

[fivepotsogold]

14U team ...

MY 12 DD doesn't have another option this year ... playing 14U as she plays high level soccer thu mid June and 12U softball here is mostly May - July ... 14U starts mid-June.
Coach says he never intended her to be more than a 13th (they don't pay), but he is "mis-remembering" as I never would have set up a payment plan and made payments if that was the case.
He absolutely told me team was 12, My DD was in that 12 and we played our first Fall Tourn just that way.

My 14U has options.

My 12 DD now feels as though she didn't work hard enough and she promised to work harder. Glad she wants to improve, but she didn't perform poorly at all, quite the contrary.
Our fall tournaments were optional and he did want her to come Saturday, knowing she had soccer Sunday (we paid for our portion of entire weekend, he asked us to bring her, no problem) ... now he is criticizing us/her for softball not being first ... now saying he has more comitted kids ... several of those kids participate in other activities that will conflict as well ... so?

If I truly thought my 12DD could really earn that spot, I'd let her work for it ... we have no problem with earning their time/spot .. she is in the top 10-11 and she would play (she can hit). I'm just not sure that coach will actually give her that chance now.

My 14U likes most of the kids (team is split in two due to the increase in kids from same Rec team)(they don't fight ... just a physical gravitation to each other), doesn't like to change teams ...but is really unhappy about 15 on a roster ... she has no problem with sitting so others can play .. just not THAT much.

Another OPTIONAL option came up for team and I asked how many kids ... he was PO'd at that ...it is OPTIONAL and if bringing in non team kids to play over team kids we didn't want to do it as we have limited time and $$ .. not sure why that is wrong of us ... but he was really mad about that. If 10 kids from our team want to play some short games, why bring in 3-4 non team members just so they get a chance to play? We are looking for playtime for our kids .. the ones from our team ... other than needing a catcher, plenty of kids to fill posititions.

Anyway .... making my for and against list ... will talk to my DD"s again ....