Roster 15?
- Thread starter fivepotsogold
- Start date
Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch
Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.
Just an update. Looks like roster now is 14 ...
Conversation ~ last month with director/coach yielded my younger DD would pay for uniform/equip only, practice with team, play pool play. Two weeks ago get a note asking for another $750 for her ... what?
Other "sub" kid sits on bench texting, came to only 4 practices, showed up at game time at championship game last tourn, mom shopping up a storm (claiming no $$, so she is uniform only payment), refuses to wear uniform on field.
Won't go into skill level as coaches discretion and we agreed to abide by that ...but my younger DD ended up playing a lot as she is good enough to be there.
She is working hard and earning time.
Irritated by fundraising ... mandatory...but going to families coach decided on ... isn't us and we really need it (already had to say no to one away tourn requiring airfare (added after being told no big trips)). Family's can go to big trip, but want $$ to go to a closer one.
Several families want money raised to go to kid that raised it .. not one big pot given to selected families.
The nice thing is that team only doing a few practices and we all go separate ways until June.
Conversation ~ last month with director/coach yielded my younger DD would pay for uniform/equip only, practice with team, play pool play. Two weeks ago get a note asking for another $750 for her ... what?
Other "sub" kid sits on bench texting, came to only 4 practices, showed up at game time at championship game last tourn, mom shopping up a storm (claiming no $$, so she is uniform only payment), refuses to wear uniform on field.
Won't go into skill level as coaches discretion and we agreed to abide by that ...but my younger DD ended up playing a lot as she is good enough to be there.
She is working hard and earning time.
Irritated by fundraising ... mandatory...but going to families coach decided on ... isn't us and we really need it (already had to say no to one away tourn requiring airfare (added after being told no big trips)). Family's can go to big trip, but want $$ to go to a closer one.
Several families want money raised to go to kid that raised it .. not one big pot given to selected families.
The nice thing is that team only doing a few practices and we all go separate ways until June.
Oh...take this as matter of fact (not whining) .... kind of resigned to the fact that softball is "dysfunctional" .
.... both my DD's have basically been told leave the financial discussions for us to deal with (communication has pretty much sucked at this point and thinking that we have to request that it all be in writing from now on). We can afford what we agreed to at the beginning ... if changes made, then we make choices/decisions based on what is realistic for us.
... they need to perform/improve and they will play .....
it is that simple for them. .. they will play if they hit field pitch better than the others ...
Already unhappy rumblings about some of this with other parents ... up to them to discuss their situation on their own ...
.... both my DD's have basically been told leave the financial discussions for us to deal with (communication has pretty much sucked at this point and thinking that we have to request that it all be in writing from now on). We can afford what we agreed to at the beginning ... if changes made, then we make choices/decisions based on what is realistic for us.
... they need to perform/improve and they will play .....
it is that simple for them. .. they will play if they hit field pitch better than the others ...
Already unhappy rumblings about some of this with other parents ... up to them to discuss their situation on their own ...
- Nov 29, 2009
- 2,973
- 83
Is this a 1st year coach? It sure sounds like it. If everything you've just posted is true about this team it's time to run. Before you get so far into it financially you're stuck.
The tournaments and travel should have all been set forth to the parents at the initial team meeting. Not being doled out in bits and pieces as you go along. The coach should have a rough idea of how many tournaments and where the team is going in the time between the end of tryouts and the initial team meeting. If he doesn't then it's it time to go.
- Nov 29, 2009
- 2,973
- 83
If you read my posts I did sit down with the girl (12) and her father together and I laid everything out for the both of them. They/she made the decision to not follow my advice. I don't want to see the girl physically hurt with an over-use injury. Time will tell, but I think a doctor may eventually make the decision for her.
No, not a first year coach ... many years,
Told before signing no big trips ... looking at two, one five hours away and one two hours away .. the other 5 (now 6) in our state.
Nine total...one huge trip, two we can do out of state, six in state.
No other team for my older DD to go to.
Director/coach seem to have "forgotten" agreement about younger DD .... or they want the $$ to subsidize other players ... who knows.
We made our situation clear and planned it (what we were told) all out ... now things (team path) have changed (that does happen in life) .. but we can only do what we can do.
It is frustrating ...
pointing fingers at parents who say they have no money and want fundraising money to pay for this while they walk around with Iphones and designer clothes can get sticky ...
we are at a loss at how to even bring any of that up ...
life is not always fair ...
I don't agree with playing a kid who texts on bench, doesn't come to practice, shows up late for games ...but that isn't something that isn't seen in Travel anyway ... and time is coach decision.
I will say that even though we are at odds with the coach (barely speak to him any more), he is still treating both our kids fairly on the field at the moment.
We aren't that happy ... but we did make a comittment.
One way we are trying to look at it ... can't let the kids think you can quit anytime you are unhappy or it isn't easy or isn't perfect.
My youngest has taken on the challenge and is looking really good ... my older DD has lots to work on hitting .. she will play a lot as other skills very good ...but will play more if hitting improves ...she has really grabbed onto that.
Kind of walking on a balance beam ... hopefully we can keep our balance ..if not ... figure it out then.
Told before signing no big trips ... looking at two, one five hours away and one two hours away .. the other 5 (now 6) in our state.
Nine total...one huge trip, two we can do out of state, six in state.
No other team for my older DD to go to.
Director/coach seem to have "forgotten" agreement about younger DD .... or they want the $$ to subsidize other players ... who knows.
We made our situation clear and planned it (what we were told) all out ... now things (team path) have changed (that does happen in life) .. but we can only do what we can do.
It is frustrating ...
pointing fingers at parents who say they have no money and want fundraising money to pay for this while they walk around with Iphones and designer clothes can get sticky ...
we are at a loss at how to even bring any of that up ...
life is not always fair ...
I don't agree with playing a kid who texts on bench, doesn't come to practice, shows up late for games ...but that isn't something that isn't seen in Travel anyway ... and time is coach decision.
I will say that even though we are at odds with the coach (barely speak to him any more), he is still treating both our kids fairly on the field at the moment.
We aren't that happy ... but we did make a comittment.
One way we are trying to look at it ... can't let the kids think you can quit anytime you are unhappy or it isn't easy or isn't perfect.
My youngest has taken on the challenge and is looking really good ... my older DD has lots to work on hitting .. she will play a lot as other skills very good ...but will play more if hitting improves ...she has really grabbed onto that.
Kind of walking on a balance beam ... hopefully we can keep our balance ..if not ... figure it out then.
- Nov 29, 2009
- 2,973
- 83
Wow.. Where to start???
In the current economic climate in the country today you can't expect people to spend like have in the past. I know I'm feeling the impact right now in my house. Things are tight. If you're going to take a 14U team so far that you have to fly or stay over night you better let everyone know about it right up front. The bait and switch they did to the parents is very uncharacteristic for an experienced coach. To me this is a huge red flag.
The whole situation with your younger DD is a difficult one. As I said before. Make a decision and I think things will work out better for her and your family. The whole maybe.. kinda-sorta.. she wants to thing is not fair to the coach and the team. I think it's a way for them to force you into a decision.
Fundraisers are good thing to help offset the cost for EVERYONE on the team. I know it sounds harsh, but if your can't afford it then don't have your child play. All it does is create resentment amongst the team families. If they fund certain families it's nothing but a ticking time bomb.
TEXTING WHILE IN THE DUGOUT DURING A GAME????? Does the coach allow this or is the kid sneaking the phone in? I tell my players right up front when I tell the team they are on my time all electronic devices are to be put on silent or turned off and put away until the team is done. What I found that works the best in controlling phones is to threaten them with making their parents hold the phone if they break the rules. The kids don't want their parents to see the text messages they get. I makes me laugh when I catch one. As they are heading to bring the phone to the parent they are trying to run, delete texts and/or shut the phone off.
As far as playing time.. As you say that falls on coach. From what you describe it sounds like another red flag.
You shouldn't have to do a balancing act for your daughters to be on a team. It sounds like the coach feels he can operate with complete autonomy. Not a good sign.
"The whole situation with your younger DD is a difficult one. As I said before. Make a decision and I think things will work out better for her and your family. The whole maybe.. kinda-sorta.. she wants to thing is not fair to the coach and the team. I think it's a way for them to force you into a decision."
My younger DD does play another sport ... so do many others on this team.
She missed two practices and was late for two since September. The texting kid started in early October and only came to 4 practices since then ... just four. Others have missed a bunch due to BB ...
(can't punish or criticize one kid while allowing others to miss)
Team has two practices per week ... coach is going with one a week now since attendance is so poor (and my kids are not the ones who miss) ... it is BB season.
Playtime is decided by the coach (we have never complained about play time and had enough faith in our younger DD to improve ... she did and is playing because of her effort) ... my younger DD played a lot last tournament ...
She may have even played a bit more than my older DD. LOL...and they get along really well together.
It is a balance ...
Sticking with it until it gets ridiculous/bad ... DD's need to learn that not every situation is perfect ... putting in the extra effort will yield good results. Hopefully.
We are going to have to push back about getting info on where the fundraising money is going. With one income, five kids ... pretty sure we are in as much "need" as half the team .... majority of the players come from modest backgrounds. (with the exception of texting kids mom who spent 6+ hours shopping at last tourn and then telling everyone how much she bought .. and wants financial help).
Not sure the big trip was bait switch ... won a mediocre tourn (2nd place in 4 team tourn) and got a berth ... eyes got big. I'm thinking cool place, be fun ... but too much for where the team is at this point .... too much $$$ .... 7+ days away is a lot for most families.
It is a non-profit Org so .... so hoping we get straight answer on how fundraising being distributed.
Kind of venting here ... looking for opinions ...
seeing red flags ...but hoping it can work out too ..... trying to take the high road ...
My younger DD does play another sport ... so do many others on this team.
She missed two practices and was late for two since September. The texting kid started in early October and only came to 4 practices since then ... just four. Others have missed a bunch due to BB ...
(can't punish or criticize one kid while allowing others to miss)
Team has two practices per week ... coach is going with one a week now since attendance is so poor (and my kids are not the ones who miss) ... it is BB season.
Playtime is decided by the coach (we have never complained about play time and had enough faith in our younger DD to improve ... she did and is playing because of her effort) ... my younger DD played a lot last tournament ...
She may have even played a bit more than my older DD. LOL...and they get along really well together.
It is a balance ...
Sticking with it until it gets ridiculous/bad ... DD's need to learn that not every situation is perfect ... putting in the extra effort will yield good results. Hopefully.
We are going to have to push back about getting info on where the fundraising money is going. With one income, five kids ... pretty sure we are in as much "need" as half the team .... majority of the players come from modest backgrounds. (with the exception of texting kids mom who spent 6+ hours shopping at last tourn and then telling everyone how much she bought .. and wants financial help).
Not sure the big trip was bait switch ... won a mediocre tourn (2nd place in 4 team tourn) and got a berth ... eyes got big. I'm thinking cool place, be fun ... but too much for where the team is at this point .... too much $$$ .... 7+ days away is a lot for most families.
It is a non-profit Org so .... so hoping we get straight answer on how fundraising being distributed.
Kind of venting here ... looking for opinions ...
seeing red flags ...but hoping it can work out too ..... trying to take the high road ...
- Nov 29, 2009
- 2,973
- 83
Sounds like the makings of a very long season. Good luck and keep us posted with developments.
